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January 27, 2016

It's a Matter of Your Heart (Marriage Series)

I'm not sure what has happened around here except that I have really fallen off the bandwagon with this blogging stuff!!! I am not actually sure if I even have any readers left?!?!

Well this again is a post that was stuck in my drafts and I decided to dust it off and actually publish it! And I also realize that I said I was going to give you 25 marriage posts since we were celebrating our 25th anniversary. Well that milestone has come and gone and we actually celebrated 27 years a few months
ago. And no...I am not going to even try to write 27 marriage posts...but I will try my best to write more of them:) So here is the long lost marriage series post!

Let's face it. If you have a spouse, no matter how much you love him/her, there are going to be things that they do that give you a slight (maybe more than a slight) feeling of annoyance. It may be a habit they have or maybe just it's something they do in their daily routine. But when they do it you get that slight feeling (or maybe more than slight:) of annoyance! And perhaps when that "something" happens yet again....you feel like you might like to say or do something nasty!!!!

Let me tell you something that I have learned (and am still learning) over the past 26 years of marriage. It's something that can be used in your marriage every day, all day long. It's something that once you make it part of your thinking and your life....will change you and most likely your relationship with your spouse. In fact it may even change your relationship with other people. If you are a husband, wife, sister, brother, grandchild, friend...this is something you can use in any relationship. Am I starting to sound like one of those "Too good to be true" ads that we see all around us???

It's about your heart! Simple....your heart. When your spouse does that thing for the umteenth time that just drives you up the wall.....I have one question for you....How's your heart???? Never mind how many times you have asked him/her not to do this particular thing, never mind the inconvenience it may cause you, how is your heart????

I remember a particular time when I was annoyed at something that Mark had done, it wasn't anything big, just a habit that he had that caused me a few seconds of inconvenience. But in my mind I had made it out to be such a big deal! And I had let it affect my heart. I remember the moment like it was yesterday, God spoke to my heart, "What if you would lose your husband today? What if you no longer had a husband to do this for? What if....." And at that moment I realized that I was letting something so insignificant, so silly, eat away at me and cause my heart to be discontented with my husband. And I realized I was sinning.

God doesn't ask us to make everybody else perfect around us, He only asks us to have a heart that is pleasing to Him. He asks us to reflect on our heart daily....in those moments of frustration or annoyance...and ask the question, "How is my heart?" Because I know that I can't change my husband or the people around me (even though I may try:) I can change one simple thing....my heart. And in changing my heart, in seeing that I don't have to fix anyone but myself, my attitude changes....every time!!!

My husband didn't change that day, but I did. And it is amazing that even though my circumstances didn't change my heart did, and I felt free. Free because it's never fun to be miserable and discontent! Free because I knew my calling wasn't to change my husband, I just had to concentrate on changing me! I went from a person who was easily annoyed at the little habits and inconveniences to a person who realized that I only needed to work on me.

Try it! When your spouse does something that bugs you, annoys you or causes you some inconvenience....check out your heart, and change what needs to be changed. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the results!