God is in Control

There are so many joys to being a parent. Moments that I will cherish forever! But with these joys comes some very hard times as well. We experienced one of these hard times this past week.

I think one of the toughest things about being a parent is watching your children hurting, either physically or emotionally. No matter how young or old they are it's natural for us to want to fix everything and make it all better. But that's not always possible or wise.

Sometimes God allows our kids to go through tough things that we can't understand with our human minds. And as parents we long to take their pain as our own. But we also know that God causes things to happen for a purpose and that if we try to fix everything we can sometimes get in the way of what God is trying to do in their lives.

Last week we found out Henry and Megan had lost their baby through a miscarriage. Though we are weeping with them, we are also believing with them that God has a purpose for this and we have know that He is in control. We are thankful to say that Henry and Megan are both doing very well and we are blessed to see how mature they are in their faith in God. It has truly carried both of them through this and it is evident to see their trust in Him.

As I was praying for Henry and Megan last week and thinking about this post, this song came on the radio and I knew it had the perfect words for this time.

Halloween: Is it just about tricks and treats?

We have chosen as a family not to celebrate Halloween. Not only does this mean not dressing up and going door to door with our kids, but we have also chosen not to attend any other functions that are an alternative to Halloween. And here are our reasons why.

1. We feel that Halloween is not a day that is honoring to God. It doesn't take much to see all the evil and darkness that centers around Halloween. Just go into any department store around Halloween.....the signs are everywhere. And it seems to get worse every year. So bad in fact that I hate to take my kids shopping with me this time of year. There are many "spiritual" explanations to when/why Halloween started. Forgive me for being so blunt here, but I don't really care how it started! Why? Because what we see of the celebration of Halloween today is nothing like how they say it started. So why would we want to participate in something that leans so much towards elevating evil and so far away from honoring God? God says in Romans 12:9 "Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." When as parents we allow our kids to participate in something that so clearly elevates evil, what kind of a message are we sending to them? I think it's a mixed message. Abhor (detest/hate) is not a weak word....I don't think God put that word in there by accident. It's a definite strong command. For an interesting read on how the jack o' lantern came about go here. You may be surprised!

2. We don't believe that we have to offer something to appease the fact that we choose not to celebrate something like Halloween. If we choose not to do something because we want to honor God, we do not need to substitute something fun to take its place. This is not reality of the Christian life. There are going to be many times in our children's lives that they will have to make choices, hard choices that will not have a "fun" alternative. We need to teach our kids that there will be some things that they will not be able to participate in and that their only (and best) reward will be in pleasing their Heavenly Father. That should always be our goal, and that's the goal that what we should be teaching our children. As parents I think we, too many times, feel sorry for our children and the fact that they have to "miss out" on stuff because they are Christians and so we offer something in the place of it all to make them feel better. I believe this is totally unneccessary and even harmful for our children. 1 John 2:15-17 says, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." Pretty clear, don't you think? Would you put Halloween in the category of what is in the world or what is of the Father?

3. How about cultivating the spirit of giving? This isn't quite what I see in Halloween, going door to door and begging for treats!!!! Not that it's wrong for our kids to have candy or to receive things, but this seems like a bit of the oppostite attitude of giving to me! I know society expects it...and doesn't even mind it...I realize that completely, but again, what is it saying to our children? Our kids are like little sponges!!! They soak up the positive and the negative things that happen around them. Don't think that this doesn't affect them!!! It does!!! And if you really want your kids to experience a bucket full of candy....go out and buy it (I recommend after Halloween since the candy goes on sale :) and give it to them, without them having to beg for it!!!

Please know that I don't mean to offend or point fingers to anyone for the way they choose to participate in Halloween, rather I would challenge you to think about what your participation should be, if any. Instead of just doing something because that's the way you've always done it, or because that's how others do it, search God's Word, line up your participation in Halloween to it, pray for God to shed His light on this and if you still feel comfortable celebrating or participating in the holiday, at least you can say you have searched scripture and have thought it through. We have a huge responsiblity as parents that goes beyond caring for our children's physical needs, we are training their hearts....it's a big deal!!!! Therefore everything we choose to let them do, or not to do should be done with great prayer and thought and it needs to line up with the Word of God. What an awesome responsibility, what an amazing privelage....just look at what God has entrusted you with....WOW....let's not take it lightly!!!

For the word of God is living and powerful,

and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit,

and of joints and marrow,

and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

Before Their Eyes

“Parents!  The work entrusted to us is holier than we know.  The precious instrument, so delicate, so wonderfully made, so marred by sin already, and so exposed to its power, is of such inconceivable worth.  To take charge on an immortal soul, to train a will for God and eternity, surely we ought to shrink from it.  But we cannot.  If we are parents, the duty is laid upon us. But, thank God!  Sufficient grace is prepared and promised too.  If we do but give up our home and our life to God for Him to come in and rule, He will Himself take possession, and by the gentle influence of His Holy Spirit bow their will to Himself.”

~Rev. Andrew Murray, The Children for Christ

We have been labeled a few things over the years of raising our children. One of them is that we are "too protective".  I am not offended when people say this...more I am saddened that they don't understand.

We have chosen to do/not to do a lot of things for the protection of our children over the years. Some things are not very popular, most things are not easy, but we haven't regretted the decisions we have made in this area.

One thing that we have been particularly careful over the years of raising children is what we are feeding them. I am not talking about physically, but in the area of entertainment.

Since our children started to read we have found it a real challenge to find good wholesome reading material or videos to watch for their age (elementary-teen). And I can say that as the years go on it gets harder and harder. I am honestly appalled when I walk into a Bible Book Store and see some of the reading material that is in the kids section. It doesn't take long to see how the Christian world is trying to keep up with the secular world in the area of entertainment. I would be ashamed (and honestly feel creepy) having some of those books in our home. How I think God weeps when He sees such garbage.

What we allow our kids eyes to see and mind to take in is NO SMALL MATTER. The ideas, beliefs and values that they get from entertainment will affect them for life. And so it has made us rethink many times what we should allow into our children's minds, hearts and into our house.

Even though children are born with a sin nature, they also come with an innocence. An innocence that sadly over time becomes less and less. Some of their innocence is lost by the harsh realities of life. But some of their innocence is crushed simply by what we, as parents, allow them to be exposed to. So many of the things that we say are part of our value system are just thrown away while watching a movie or reading a book. How sad.

So really the world of entertainment in our family is narrowed down to...well .....NOT MUCH!!!! There is just not that much good, Godly stuff out there that supports the values we have as a family. And we are not willing to compromise the values that we teach our children for the sake of entertainment.

For books we stick mostly to missionary biographies or character building stories for children. There are a lot of great biographies out there that highten our children's desire to live for God. I like to read our smaller children stories that reinforce the truths that we find in God's Word. Businesses that sell home schooling material have some great resources in this area.

We have chosen to stay away from most of the Disney type books and movies. We haven't found many that support the values that we try to live out as a family. We also find that many of the characters are literally idolized by children, and we choose to stay far away from that.

If a book does not have a good wholesome message behind it and doesn't encourage good behaviour....we will not read it. I have been in the middle of many a books in our days of raising our family, only to stop and throw it right in the garbage. The character in the book may have a bad attitude towards his/her parents, or use words that we do not use in our family, or treat siblings unfairly...why would I train my child it is not Godly to act this way and then have no problem reading it to them in a book? Is that not teaching my child a double standard?

There are some Christian organizations out there that do movie reviews. It didn't take me long to realize that one organization in particular was one I couldn't trust to review movies for our family! They say things like, "Such and such movie has a bit of violence, some crude or profane language and some very revealing ways of dressing.....so I will give it a 5 out of 10!" You have GOT to be kidding me! A 5 out of 10 for family friendly with all those things in it? Really.....what is wrong with this picture? With all of those things...I would give it a 0 out of 10....YES I said 0!!!!

So for videos for our children we mostly get ones that are educational. There are a lot of great videos about animals and the world around us (watch for the evolution though!) If you would like a list of our favourites you can send me an email and I will gladly tell you :)

Standing up in this area has not been easy. For one thing we find that as humans there is a constant desire to be entertained. And what's easier than just vegging in front of the TV, forgetting about the world around you for awhile and be entertained. I am not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but I do believe it becomes harmful to us when we put our morals and values on the shelf for the sake of entertainment. We may cringe when we hear those profane words, we may close our eyes when we see someone scantily dressed, we may choose not to laugh at the off color jokes....and then we call it all good? Why? Because we like to be entertained!

As a family we find we need to have a constant awareness of the dangers of the world of entertainment. Regretfully we have slipped many times and then we have went through our videos and promptly thrown the "undgodly" movies where they belong....in the garbage. Then we repent of our ways, and ask God to help us to be more careful in our choices. No movie is more important than our relationship with God....NONE!

What about ratings? With changing times, we find we cannot trust ratings anymore. There are many, many G movies that we will not watch. Just because it says "G" doesn't mean it's Godly!

So I say this to challenge all of us to watch what we put before our/our children's eyes. Is it worth being entertained for a couple of hours only to compromise our values? When we watch a movie, do we keep in mind the holiness of God and how He hates sin? How about the old cliche..."What would Jesus do?" Would He sit there and watch that movie with you? Or would He promptly walk out of the room? Does God weep over the things we allow our families to view? Do you view a movie through the eyes of God?

I  believe Satan has made an inroad into Christian hearts through entertainment, this generation like no other. Especially in kids movies....most of it is good, and then there are just a couple of "bad parts" thrown in there. And we tolerate it...because it's mostly good! That's foolishness.....it really is. I say we need to WAKE UP! We need to see it for what it really is. We need to stop compromising what we believe. We need to....for the sake of following our God 100%.....WE NEED TO!!

And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea. Mark 9:42

I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me. Psalm 103:3

Harmony

There are times in our family where things are peaceful and everyone is getting along and then there are mornings like this morning where it seems that there is quarrelling and discord everywhere I turn.

Satan attacked family/brothers/sister/relationships from the beginning of time. And he hasn't stopped.

The family is a very strong unit when there is harmony. God has perfectly fit different personalities, strengths & weaknesses to form a unit that is not easily broken...that is until Satan throws the darts of discord.

It can be something so insignificant that starts the spark. This morning it was a muffin....an insignificant little muffin! Or resentment of cleaning up someone else's mess, or the annoyance of the younger trying to keep the older "in line!"

There are so many things that can cause discord in a family. That is why we have to be on guard. A seemingly little thing can fester and get way out of control.

We always tell our kids that it's about our heart. We CANNOT fix or change someone else's heart. But we can change or fix ours. And when we work on our heart, it's amazing how things seem so much better....even though the situation hasn't changed much. If we, as families, can get that one little concept into our hearts, we will have harmony.

The attack on the family is not by accident. Satan knows how far a family can go for the Lord if there is harmony. The state of your family today will affect generations to come. We need to stop thinking just about the here and now and start thinking about the next and next and next generations. If we have family discord now....but by the grace of God, it will continue on. Likewise if we have family harmony now....it will affect generations to come.

Often when some or all of us have sung together as a family, people have commented on the beautiful harmony. And the same when I hear some families sing together....the harmony is so perfect. It is easy on the ears.

The same when we are in harmony in our relationships as a family....it's a beautiful thing. It's amazing what can be accomplished when there is harmony! Everyone working together for a common goal.

And that's why I believe it makes Satan shudder when he sees a family work together in harmony. Because he knows what it can do for the kingdom of God.

Yesterday our pastor gave a message about not letting go of God, no matter what comes our way. He also talked about STANDING when the darts of the enemy come.

As we are training our children today....it's not just about petty arguments and little spats....it's about family harmony. It's a huge deal! Let's not get shot down by the fiery darts....rather let's STAND STRONG!!!

And when families are strong and they join together as a church....imagine the impact that will have! We will already know how to get along, we will know how to handle opposition, we will see the insignificance of petty things, we will know how to work on our hearts....we will be STRONG!!!

God has created an amazing unit...the family. It wasn't by accident...it was by design! 

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

“The absence of doctrinal teaching and preaching is certainly one of the causes for the present lamentable ignorance in the church. But a still more influential cause is found in the failure of the most important of all Christian educational institutions. The most important Christian educational institution is not the pulpit or the school, important as these institutions are; but it is the Christian family. J. Gresham Machen (1881-1937)

His Strength

This is Mark and I and our precious grandson Andy....isn't he so sweet :)

Do you ever have times when you look at the mound of stuff that has to be done and just wonder how in the world you are ever going to accomplish it? I do, in fact that's kind of how I feel right now.

Over the weekend we just took a bit of a whirlwind trip to Alberta where we met up with Mark's family. We left on Saturday morning bright and early and drove almost a 1000 km to Medicine Hat where we stayed for night. Then on Sunday we drove the rest of the way to Calgary and met up with Mark's family at the hotel. We spent the rest of Sunday and all day Monday with them and then Tuesday morning we drove the 1200 km back home. Yup.....whirlwind!!

Before we took the trip I wondered how everyone would do, how I would do! But my husband is the optimist of the two of us and he said it would be just fine....and it was!

Although there were bumps along the way! When I went to get Jaden up Saturday morning (the morning we left) I found him covered in the stuff that happens when someone has the stomach flue. My first thought was "OH NO!" When you have a family this size, the stomach flue is no small thing, actually it is something I dread! And the stomach flue while traveling....double negative :)  But at that moment, instead of worrying, I purposed to give it over to God and asked for protection for the rest of the family and healing of Jaden. I am glad to say that he was fine the rest of the trip.

A few hours into our trip Mark said he wasn't feeling too well. By the time we arrived at our destination for the night.....he was very, very ill.....with the stomach flue. Poor guy, not a fun way to start a vacation! And again I had to give it to God. In the back (OK front!) of my mind I am thinking, "What if everyone gets this?" Again, I prayed for healing for Mark and protection for the rest. At the same time I knew that God was allowing this for a reason.....maybe it was for me to trust Him more?

The next morning Mark was starting to feel better, I gathered reports from the other rooms to how people were feeling. Kerri and Mikaya were sick in the night but seemed to be on the mend. Once again, I prayed for healing and protection!

I am so thankful to report that no one else got majorly sick. There were a few unsettled tummies but that was it.

So now we are home and feeling well. Yet there are still instances many, many times a day where I have to stop and fully focus on God and give things over to Him.

This time of year is a really busy one for us all. As soon as we got home (Mark and I stayed the night in Brandon to get parts while the kids drove on home) the guys got busy getting the swathers ready and by last evening they were out in the field swathing. BANG....holidays over :)

And because the garden kept producing while we were gone there were peas to pick and pickles to be made! (Thanks girls for taking care of that!)

I find when times are busy like this I have to take one task at a time (and give everyone one task!!) If I look at all that needs to be accomplished I start to feel overwhelmed.

Many times when people see how many children we have they say, "How do you do it?" To which I reply, "Only with God's strength!" Because I know without His strength I would be melting in a puddle of overwhelmed tears!

I am so thankful for God's strength. I am so thankful that the joy of the Lord is my strength! I am so thankful that He doesn't ask me to do it all at once, but just one step at a time. I am so thankful that if I keep my eyes on Him things seem much more manageable.

The tasks before me today will be there until I get them done. So there is no use worrying about how I will get them done. All I need to do is be diligent to do what has been set before me.....one thing at a time.

When I have a lot to do in a day  here is what I try to do
#1 Decide what is the most important...and do that first.

#2 Start a task and finish it before moving on to the next....in other words...don't get distracted!

#3 Make sure that I am not neglecting my relationship with my family in my busyness. If I can, I will try to include at least one of our children in a task I am working on. Kids love to work together with their parents!

#4 Cut out or limit my time at the computer. It's amazing how much time can be used up while sitting at the computer!

#5 Choose carefully the things/people I say yes to......ministies, activities, jobs and stuff that happens outside our family. My family must come first! I find when I get too busy with things outside our family my calling as a mother suffers! Being a mother is my ministry!

#6 Eat properly so I have energy! 

#7 Have a positive attitude. If my attitude stinks.....my day will stink....GUARANTEED!

#8 Remember that God is the source of my strength and that things will seem way less overwhelming if I keep my eyes focused on Him!

Friends for Life

I know I have mentioned many times, on this blog, how we believe it is very important for our children to be each others best friends. And many times I have been asked by my readers just how we get that to happen. It has taken me a LONG time to get this post down in writing but here is some of our thoughts on this topic.

When our children are still very young we teach them to LOVE one another using 1 Cor. 13:4-8a
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

Love never fails." When siblings live in true love towards each other, they are best friends :)

We believe that a major contribution to our children being each other's best friends is simply because we homeschool. They spend all day, every day together. If they want a playmate.....they will play with a sibling. If they want someone to talk to.....it will often be to a sibling. And so it naturally happens that by spending so much time together they become best friends!

Another things we have concentrated on over the years is not to make a big deal about having friends outside of our family. We don't make an effort to "get" friends for our children. Yes, it happens, but not because we saw that there was a void or a need. It's because there are great people out there that our children have gotten to know. I hear way to often how parents get their kids into activities, sports, or groups so that they can meet new friends. It's great to have friends, and we are not against that, but it can place stress on siblings relationships. Instead of having "friends"over, we choose to have families over. This is a great way to make friends, everyone can fellowship together, children learn to get along with ALL ages, and there is always lots of fun to be had with large numbers!

Over the past few years we made a decision as a family to limit sleep overs (only under very specific occasions do they happen). The reasoning for this is because we saw the ugliness that would happen when we had sleep overs. More often than not, the one having the friends over would become very unloving to his/her siblings. It was like they became a different person overnight. At first we chalked it up to lack of sleep...but then we started to realize it was much more than that. It was peer pressure. This is the first we saw negative peer pressure raise it's ugly head in our family. And it didn't take us long to realize it was just not a healthy thing. 

Another thing that we believe contributes towards siblings as best friends is not allowing a lot of "me" time (meaning the child). We have found this to be another thing that causes a lot of frustration and resentment among siblings. Frustration of being interrupted by a sibling or hurt feelings while someone is being left out. When our children become young adults they have quiet time in their rooms for prayer/bible study time, but even at this age long periods of isolation are not encouraged. Too much "me" time usually translates into meism. "I am the most important person, I NEED time to myself, I want everyone to leave me alone!" God put us in a family for a reason. If He would have wanted our children to be isolated, He wouldn't have given them any sibings. But He didn't choose that....He chose a bunch of people to live under one roof. And what character we have learned from it!

We often tell our children how important it is to invest in their relationship with their brothers and sisters. From the oldest to the youngest, they need to nurture and cultivate relationships with each other. It takes effort and sometimes it is even hard work, but it will be so worth it in the end. When our children are grown they will lose touch with most of the friends they have now. But their brothers and sisters will always be there. They are stuck to each other for life. And that is why the way the treat each other now is so very important for their future. We learned long ago that we don't raise our children for the here and now. We train them for the future. And cultivating friendships with each other is no exception!

Now this is by no means an exclusive list nor is it the only way that siblings will become best friends. This is just what our experience has been and we have found that it has worked. And since you asked.....I told you :)

Is There Fruit?

This weekend we attended a conference called “Higher Calling.” I loved the name….what a wonderful thing to focus on….going higher and deeper with God. There were many times this weekend I was challenged in my walk with God. I love to be challenged. I don’t ever want to get to the point where I am to proud or lazy to realize that there are things in my life that God wants and needs to change.

But at the same time I don’t want to be convicted by a message, make commitments to God to change and then walk away and go back to the same way I was before the meeting.

In my walk as a Christian I have come to realize that commitments to God are a very serious thing. It is so easy for me to go to conferences, camp meetings, church, etc. feel inspired and convicted, to repent, to commit to do better, and then go back into the “real world” and slowly (or quickly) lose everything that God taught me. When I make a commitment to God I want to be sure that I am going to keep it. Not only is it harmful for me when I go back on my commitment to God, but it also hurts my relationship with Him.

Have any of you as a daughter/sons been promised something from your parents and they never followed through with it? Did that strengthen your relationship with them? Or did it hurt it? When as I child I would be promised things and sometimes they wouldn‘t come through. With every promise I got a little more sceptical until I finally got to a point of saying, “Ya right, I will believe it when I see it!“ Can you imagine if God felt this way about us? Are you characterized by making promises to God then leave the encouragement/excitement of a meeting only to go home, face reality and after a few days, weeks or months forget all about the commitment you made and go back to the way things were? I know I have. My heart breaks when I think about how God feels when I do this. How it must break His heart!

The other day I was reading a parenting article and they were talking about how important it is to keep your promises to your children. They said that if you would sit down and ask your child if there was a time that you promised something and didn’t follow through that they would not only be able to tell you what the promise was, but every detail around it. This is why as parents we have been very careful about the promises we have made to each other and to our children. I could probably count on one hand the times that I have made a promise to my family. It is a concept we take very seriously and we train our children to do the same. We only make promises if we know, that we know, that we know that we are going to keep them. We believe a promise/commitment is a serious thing to God, and so it should also be a very serious thing to us.

So what do promises and commitments to God produce? They produce fruit. Let’s say I hear a great sermon on joy and choosing like Paul to “be content in whatever state I am” and I make a commitment to God that I am going to choose to be content in my circumstances. Then I go back to my everyday life at home and a few days later I find myself whining to everyone about how crummy I have things, and how bad it is, etc……..what good did that commitment do? Now I am not saying that I will not make mistakes. I am saying that I better be crying out to God for forgiveness when I mess up. And over time I better be able to say that I are making progress in this area.

Our commitments are more than just words to God, they are something that need to be taken seriously and should produce fruit. If your parent made you a promise and then the day the promise was to be fulfilled they came to you and said, “Will you please forgive me, I know that I made a promise to you but I made a mistake in my scheduling and have something that I cannot get out of. Would I be able to make it up to you next week?” Now if this is something your parent has done only once or twice, you would probably believe them and trust their word. I know I would. If I know someone is making an effort to change, it is easier to forgive them. But if that same parent over time has done this again and again, promised, apologized, not followed through…..promised, apologized, not followed through…..it would be very hard to believe that they are serious about their love and their relationship with you. I believe it is the same way with God. He wants to see effort and progress in our lives….in our promises/commitments to Him. He wants our commitments to be real, not just words.

So even though I had a great time at the conference this weekend, the true test of how good it was for me will be if I am, in the next days, weeks, months and years, still living the things I learned and committed to God. Will I be bearing good fruit in this area of my life. Will others see a change in me? And most importantly will God believe that I meant what I committed to Him? And will He be able to trust that I am telling Him the truth the next time I make a commitment to Him? I hope this will be the case, with the help and grace of God, I pray this will be the case.

Feeling Blessed

Do you ever have something happen to you that just makes you feel loved? Loved by God, loved by someone?
This happened to me yesterday.

You see we have this garden.....this really big garden. And then we have this other garden.....this little bit smaller than the really big garden, but still a big garden.

And then we have these weeds. These "getting bigger by the moment" weeds. These weeds that were making the garden look like a jungle rather than the sweet little oasis that it should be.

And then we had this tiller. A fairly new tiller. A tiller that used to work very well. A tiller that used to make the garden look very respectable. But right now, a very broken down tiller.

Then we had me and my daughters who felt totally overwhelmed at having to hoe this entire BIG garden and the other still big, but a little smaller garden, by hand. An especially overwhelming and back breaking task this year due to all the rain making the ground very hard!

Then we have this "fix the tiller" man. A man who said it would be 2 very long weeks before the very broken tiller would be fixed.

Then you have me. Me who was getting a tad anxious about this overgrown garden. Me, who is already having a very frustrating gardening year. Me, who was having a very, very BAD ATTITUDE. Me, sharing complaining to a friend about a very broken down tiller

Then you have a God, Who loves me in spite of my weaknesses. A God Who loves me too much to leave me in my discontent. A God who gently points out to me that the discontent in my heart is not pleasing to Him.

Then you have me. A very humbled me. A very repentant me. A me who has an attitude change....from very BAD....to trying her very best to be CONTENT.

Then you have a very wonderful God. A God Who cares about even the smallest details of my life.

Then you have very sweet friends. Friends who made my day!

Then you have this tiller.....this very, very oldish looking tiller. A tiller that you CAN NOT judge by its looks! A tiller that beats the newish broken down tiller (even when it is functioning at it's best) by a long shot! A tiller that the same very sweet friends dropped off at our place yesterday.

Then you have me. Totally, totally, totally BLESSED! Totally THANKFUL!

Then you have 2 gardens  that no longer look like a jungle. 2 gardens that are looking more and more weed free.

Then you have me who learned a few very big lessons this week.

1) Never underestimate the power of an older looking tiller!

2) As hard as it is sometimes, it pays to be content. Not only does your heart feel good....it feels GREAT!

3) A great lesson from a young couple who chose to be a blessing....even if it meant going out of their way to help someone out.....May I be like that!

4) It's just not worth sweating over the small things. They will not matter in eternity....but my attitude will.

A big thanks to Mike and Jeanette for lending us your tiller. Words cannont express how much it meant to us :)

Teaching Our Children to Pray

Over the years of having children I have been often blown away by their childlike faith.
We have taught our children to pray from and early age. And I have never grown tired of hearing them pray.

Yesterday, the tractor we were seeding with, broke down. We were eating lunch when we heard Mark tell Josh on the 2 way radio that he was driving along and the tractor just stopped.

This year has been a real struggle getting the seed into the ground. We have had lots and lots of rain with few sunny days in between. The ground is saturated making it very hard to seed.

But yesterday we were seeing the end. If everything went well we knew we could get done. This was HUGE because they were calling for a bunch of rain again today (and it's raining as I type :) So the push was on!

When I heard Mark tell Josh about the tractor my immediate reaction was to pray...silently. But then I looked around at all of our children sitting there and decided to ask them to agree with me in prayer. I explained the situation to them, told them Daddy didn't know what was wrong with the tractor and that we needed to pray that he would have the wisdom and strength to deal with this situation. That the tractor would get fixed quickly. But most of all we needed to pray that God's will would be done. We knew He had a purpose for this.We went around the circle and each child prayed. Most of them prayed a simple prayer like, "Lord please help the tractor to start again so we can get seeding done."

Meanwhile in the field, Mark had called the mechanic, who said he would be there in 20 minutes. A little while later we heard Mark tell Josh that the tractor was running again!!!! We were excited and praising God for answered prayer!

A little while later I had to go out to the field to bring Mark seed and he told me what the problem had been. He said that guy looked at the wiring and was trying to figure out why there was no power coming. And then as he was looking through the wiring diagrams "it came to him" what the problem was.  And he happened to have the part we needed in the truck. So within a few minutes the tractor was fixed and Mark was seeding again!

Now I believe that God helped the mechanic "remember" and I don't believe it was coincidental that he had the right part in the truck. I believe God used this situation to teach our kids (and me :) the importance of prayer in our every day life.

When I came back home I found the kids and one by one (some two by two) told them how God had answered our prayers.

Our kid's faith was strengthened yesterday. They were assured that God does hear and answer prayer. They know that God doesn't always answer our prayers right away....sometimes He asks us to wait patiently. But yesterday He chose to answer right away.

At supper we all thanked God for His mercy and for answered prayer.

We need to teach our children to pray. We need to teach them that God is interested in every area of our life. That He is always there to hear us. And when He answers prayer we need to teach them how important it is to thank God for answered prayer. We also need to teach Him that God doesn't always answer prayer in the timing or way that we might want or expect. But He does always answer prayer.

Because we live in a society where we can usually fix things on our own it's too easy to turn to man instead of God. Years ago, God worked on my heart. He taught me that my first response should be prayer when I had a need. If one of the kids were sick, instead of reaching for the tylenol bottle, or taking them to the Dr. I was to first pray for them. If we had a need, that my first response would be to pray instead of go out and try to buy it.

In the last little while I have gotten lazy. Too many times I have turned to man's way of fixing things instead of God's. But Sunday, in church, I got a "refresher course" as God once again was calling me back to Him, to His way of doing things! He is my Healer, He is my Provider, He is my God!!!

I want to encourage you today, if you have an ailment, problem or a need, take it to the Lord. Seek Him first. And if you have children, ask them to pray with you. A child's faith is so real and refreshing.

Let's teach our children to pray.

And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it. John 14:13-14

And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:3-4

But Jesus called them [unto him], and said,

Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not:

for of such is the kingdom of God. Luke 18:16

For where two or three are gathered together in my name,

there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20

Just Keepin It Real

This has been a phrase that I have read a lot on blogs or facebook over the past few years.
Basically this is how it goes....."COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN......I'm just keepin it real!!!"
I have thought this whole phrase through and figured out why it kind of bugs me.

I'm all for keepin it real. One of the things people assume about me being a mom of many is that I am this kind of "super mom"! Well the fact of the matter is I am just a regular person.....I just happen to be a mom of many. I am real, I am human, I have struggles, I have heartaches, I have pain.....I am real! Sometimes people make the comment after I do a post about my shortcomings that it was nice for them to hear I have struggles too...that I am real. Really, pinch me, I am real!!!!

But I am not for being a complainer in the name of "keepin it real". I think that is just an excuse to get pity from others.

Let me explain. A mom complains about her children misbehaving all day and that she is totally wasted, plus she has a bunch of cleaning left to do.....etc. I want to ask you....what good did that do her, or her readers? Personally I know that if I start to focus on my less than perfect circumstances rather than focus on the ONE who helps me to rise above my circumstances....I start to wallow in self-pity.

Self-pity is an ugly beast that will rob me of my joy. Let's take yesterday for example. Something happened that really ticked me off!!! And for a few minutes I let the beast of self-pity overtake me. And for those few minutes I was miserable, and miserable to be around. And it was then I knew that I had a choice to make. "let it go" or "fume my way through my day." I chose to let it go, and do you know what happened? The self-pity left and I had joy again. My cirucumstance had not changed, but my attitude toward it had! Now what if I had come to write on the blog, say how miserable I was, explain the whole situation....complain a little...or a lot!!!! Would I have experienced the joy that I felt when I chose to let it go? I know for a fact that I would not have.

Now some of you may be saying...."Well how do I get the body of Christ to pray for me if I don't let them know I am having trouble?" I believe that you can ask someone to pray for you without complaining. For my situation yesterday I could have said something like, "I am struggling with a bad attitude. Could you please pray for me?" No victim mentality there, no pleas for pity, no putting other people down....just "keepin it real!"

I have real troubles with people who bash their husbands, wives, parents, children, jobs, friends.....even themselves all in the name of "keepin it real". To me this is not keeping it real....this is asking others to feel sorry for you.

Nowhere in scripture do I see that God gives us the go ahead to complain. In fact I see quite the opposite. "In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Do everything without complaining and arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God." Ephesians 4:29
I don't want to be a fake on my blog. I want to be real in the way that people can see I have struggles and hardships too. But it doesn't do me or anyone else good if I sit here and whine and complain about my circumstances, my relationship, or my life in general. All that really does is make me feel more miserable and maybe get a little pity from others. I choose not to go there. So for the record....no, my life is not perfect. Yes, I have struggles...every day actually!!! Who can live in a house with 12 other people and not have struggles? But if I don't have anything that will lift you up and encourage you in your walk with God...I won't be saying it. It doesn't do me or anyone else any good to complain. It's like I tell my kids....it's just spreading the poison.

So next time you want to say, "Just keepin it real" stop and think about your motives :)

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like.....

Winter :)

Yesterday we had another dump of snow. 

And even though all of my flesh wants to focus on the negative I will focus instead on this.

It was such a beautiful snowfall, snowflakes gently falling.

Brought such peace and calm.

And now all the mud and dirt has been covered by a pure white blanket of snow.

It reminds me of how if I ask Him, God forgives and covers the filthiness of my sin.

And because of this, the snow was worth it.

Thanks for the reminder, I love you God :)

   Though your sins are like scarlet,     

  

They shall be as white as snow; 

      

Though they are red like crimson, 

They shall be as wool. 

Isaiah 1:18

All in the Family


I know I have talked before about children helping out in the home...but a question that someone asked me recently sparked another blog post :)

We teach our children from very young to help out around our home. Why? Because they live here! And because our job as parents is to equip our children for whatever the future may hold for them.

We start chores from the time that our children can follow through on simple instructions. For a toddler it would be to help pick up the toys. When they get a little older their next chore is usually to help set or clean off the dining room table. As they get older it might be sweeping the floor, washing a vehicle, or dusting.

Not only do chores use up some of our children's energy, it also give them a sense of purpose and belonging in our family. When they help out around our home they feel a sense of accomplishment. When they contribute to our family's chores they learn that there is more to life than just playing.

One motto around here is "Work before play." Another one is "If you don't work, you don't eat!" We teach our children that work is a necessary part of life. Nothing gets done if someone doesn't do it! We feel it is very harmful to your child to hand everything to him on a golden platter and not make him work for anything. That usually makes for an ungrateful child who thinks that the world owes him everything. We don't want our children to have this mindset.

Do our children ever have a bad attitude about working? Oh yes!!!! Some of our children can be very outspoken and have huge negative body language when asked to do their jobs, while others can be more inwardly defiant. Both attitudes need to be watched and dealt with. What do we do about bad attitudes while working? We have taught all of our children scriptures about work and will remind them what God says in His word about this important topic. And we hand out consequences for bad attitudes towards work. Often the consequence is......more work. I will tell the one with a bad attitude, "By the attitude you had while doing that job you showed me that you need practice on working with a good attitude. So now I am going to give you another job to do. And if you don't have a good attitude while doing that job, I will keep giving you jobs until your attitude improves." It doesn't usually take more than 1 or 2 jobs before they are "all practiced up"!!!

In teaching your children to work hard and with a good attitude you are not only benefitting yourself, but you are benefitting (Lord willing) a future wife, husband or employer of your child. I will often tell my children that if I do not correct their bad attitudes and work habits, then I have failed to train them to be a good spouse or employee someday. Now that's a goal to work towards :-)

One of These Days

Do you ever have one of these days.....

One of these days that everywhere you turn there's stuff to be done.
And you look around and realize that there is no human way that you could get it all done today.

One of these days that everytime you look up, someone else wants your attention.
And you are followed around with appeals of praise, pity, justice, knowledge, wisdom, and help.
(Even as I am writing this I have been interrupted by 5 different ones requesting my attention)

It's on one of these days that my head spins (literally) and I wonder how, when and if I will have the strength, physically and emotionally to get it all done and how I can possibly have enough left to be there for the ones that need me.

It's on one of these days that if I focus on the list that needs to be accomplished I could sink into the pit of the overwhelmed.

It's one of these days that if I focus on how little me time I am getting for "ME" I could sink into the pit of self-pity.

It's one of these days that if I focus on the mound of work that needs to be accomplished I might be tempted to just ignore it all and sink into the pit of laziness.

It's one of these days that I NEED to choose life for my soul. I need to let the praise of God continually be on my lips. (Ps. 341)

It's one of these days that I NEED to rely on the joy of the Lord to be my strength (Nehemiah 8:9-12)

It's one of these days that I NEED to regard others needs above my own. (Phil. 2:3)

It's one of these days that I NEED to realize that laziness gets me nowhere fast!
(Prov. 10: 4-5)

It's on one of these days that I NEED to remember that the reason I am experiencing all this is because of the blessings God has placed in my life.  And if it were not for all of them my heart would not be near as FULL!

It's one of these days that I will CHOOSE to keep on keep'n on because one day, when my children are grown and gone....

I will look back and remember the times when.....I cuddled a baby whenever I wanted, received hugs all day long, was asked for words of advice throughout the day, answered the inquisitiveness of a 3 year old, heard the giggle of a toddler, witnessed first hand the joy of learning, listened to the songs of praise on our daughter's lips, taught phonics to a 5 year old, encouraged boys to work out their problems, nursed a sick one back to health, kissed a boo boo.......

I will look back and long to re-live

"ONE OF THESE DAYS"

Children and Their Innocense

With Halloween approaching there has been a lot of people blogging about Christians celebrating or not celebrating Halloween.
 There are many differents beliefs out there about this topic. And there have been many good articles and blog post out there related to Halloween. So instead of writing about it myself I am giving you a link of an excellent post that I read recently by a mom who shares why, as a family, they have chosen not to celebrate Halloween. Please take time to read this and really think through why you do or don't do anything to celebrate Halloween. But really what I want to blog about today is somewhat indirectly related to Halloween.

The Innocence of our Children.

I love the pure innocence of a child. You can see it in their eyes. So precious. So genuine. There is a reason that Jesus told us to become like a little child. Their faith is so real, their love is so gracious, and their heart is so pure. But I believe there is another reason that Jesus said to become as a little child, and that is because of their sweet innocence.
 Over the years I have come to appreciate more and more our children's innocence. Here is one example has come up over and over again. Our kids like to colour a lot. So I buy them colouring books. I always try to go through the books at the store and again at home and make sure that there is nothing "yucky" in them (anything from immodestly dressed children, to monsters, to aliens, to mermaids, to vampires, to jack-0-lanterns, to witches, people with guns, evolution, just plain ugly creatures....... ) When I find a picture that I feel does not honour God, I will rip it out. I've been doing that now for 20+ years. But once in awhile I will miss a picture. And when I do, one of our kids will come across it, and promptly bring the book to me and say, "Mom, this page is yucky." Now there have been times where I would have seen this picture before them and looked at it and said to myself, "Well, it's not really that bad." But more often than not, my child will notice it and bring it to my attention. So I have learned over the years to trust my first instinct and rip it out.

 I have often wondered why our children have this sense of what is good and what is ugly. Because some of these things they have never even seen, but their spirits pick up on the fact that something isn't right. I believe it is because of the innocence that God has placed in them. The sensitivity they have to what God loves and what He hates. It is something I have not been able to explain, or really understand. But I know it is there.

 Videos would be another example. When our children watch a video and I see them walk away or go and play instead of watch it I evaluate the content of the video. Sometimes the issue is that the child just wasn't old enough to differentiate between what is real life and what is on camera (e.g. sharks, whales, etc.) and it frightened them. But other times the videos seems OK to me, yet to my children something doesn't sit right,so why push it? Why desensitize the innocence that is in their little hearts. (side note: as I was writing this the kids were watching a nature video and it mentioned how an animal had evolved to adapt to it's climate. Guess what happened? Our son marched to the VCR, took out the video and brought it to me saying why the content was not good. The video is now in the garbage! This same son brought a Bible story book to me the other day saying that the author added things to the story that aren't in the Bible. We then decided these books will go in the garbage.) It would be so easy to think, "I paid money for this. It's just a little bit of evil....." But I realize those excuses are really harmful to our family.
A little bit of evil and a lot of good, still makes it evil. It's not worth it just for the sake of entertainment. 

The other day I was in the grocery store and I heard a little boy and girl talking to their mom. They would have been around 4 and 5 years old or so. They little boy said, "This is so yucky.....we shouldn't shop here anymore." (referring to the halloween decorations). And the little girl said, "Ya, they shouldn't be allowed to put out such yucky things." At this point I was ready to hear the mom shush their children who were being so outspoken (and quite loudly so) about this situation. But my heart was warmed when I heard their mom say, "You're right, these are yucky things. I wish they wouldn't put them out either." She could have quieted her children or quickly changed the subject, but rather she acknowledged that what they were saying was truth instead of being embarrassed. I find this practice particularly awkward when we are visiting at other people's places. There have been times where my kids were reading a book at someone's home and bring it to me and say that the book is yucky. (and not quietly :) Just a little awkward! But I am so grateful as they do this. Of course as they grow older they learn of more tactful ways to address the situation :) in love.

 As a parent I want to be very careful that I don't minimize or belittle the fact that our children are concerned about the things that they see. You know the song....oh be careful little eyes what you see. They are being sensitive to the innocence that God has placed into their hearts and I don't want to destroy or crush that. I have also learned that just because books and videos are labled "Christian" they cannot all be trusted. In fact I have been appalled at some of the literature and video content that I have found in the Christian book stores and I wonder how anyone can justify some of their content? The argument has been given that it is good for kids to read about or see the struggle between good and evil because that is what life is about! Well, I believe that is a lie from the pit of hell. I have heard it said that the way they teach those that work in banks to know what counterfiet money is, is they make them study what real money is. They don't study the counterfeit, they study the real thing! Well that makes sense to me. So why not do the same with our children. If we teach them the good and Godly side of things, they will be able to distinguish between good and evil. I believe Satan is really getting a foothold in these things all in the name of entertainment! And Christians are falling right into his trap. It's just sad....really sad. So I want to encourage you to protect the innocence of your children. Don't make light of things that they feel is wrong. Look at it through their eyes, not your eyes and flesh that may have been desensitized to what is good and evil. What an amazing opportunity we have to mentor these little ones are and what an amazing privelage and responsibility it is to raise them to bring glory and honor to God. Let's do our best encourage our children to love what God loves and hate what He hates. And in doing so we will raise a people that are passionate to follow God and seek His ways no matter what the cost!

You who love the LORD, hate evil!

He preserves the souls of His saints;

He delivers them out of the hand of the wicked.

Psalm 97:10

Too Many Choices

 

Over the years, one of the biggest mistakes we have seen parents make comes in the form of choices. Parents come to us and say, "Our child just is not obeying us. Where are we going wrong?" One of the issues more often than not is that the parents are allowing their child too many choices.

As many of you know we have taught the "Along the Virtuous Way" (Previously titled Growing Kids God's Way) parenting classes many times over the last 14 years. Much of what I will talk about today is credited to what we have learned in this course.

Today the mindset in parents seems to be that it is unfair or even mean not to give our children choices. We hear it everywhere. In the restaurant, in the grocery store, in the mall.....We think it's cute when they old enough to talk and are able to express their own choice,

Too many choices....do you want to wear the blue or green shirt, do you want pony tails or braids, do you want peanut butter or jam, apple juice or orange juice, white bread or brown, in quarters or halves, yellow cup or blue.....and on and on! Choice after choice is made by the child even before breakfast is even done! Then you sit down with your child and have a nice snuggly time of reading. Do you want to read this book or that one? Then it's playtime, "Do you want to play cars and trucks or lego? Now it's time for lunch and you say to your child, "Time to clean up your toys, it's time for lunch." And the child says, "No, I want to finish playing first, I will have lunch later." But you know your child needs to eat for his well being and your sanity, so you push the issue.....and what ensues? A battle, a big battle! And you stand back and think, where did this all start? Things were going so smoothly. 

Well really this all started when you gave your child the choice of what to wear, the choice of what to eat, the choice of what color of cup, the choice of what to read, the choice of what to play with, the  choice of whether or not to eat lunch....oh wait, you made that choice, didn't you? And that's where the battle began. Do you see the problem here? Up until now your child has been deciding what he would like and not like to do all morning, and he has been able to do them without any resistance from you. And then all of a sudden you come and mess up his little world, or so he thinks. 

Choices in and of themselves are not bad. We let our children make choices every day. But the younger the child, the less choices they have. For instance our 5 year old can pick out her own clothes, but not our 3 year old. Our 5 year old can pick what she wants on her toast, but not our 3 year old. Why you ask. Because our 3 year old cannot handle the power that comes with decision making yet. 

The Bible says that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. At this age children do not make their decisions based on moral reasoning or wisdom. Rather they make it out of the foolishness of their little hearts. They don't think, "Ok, it's 0 Celsius outside, I really should not wear shorts today because I might get very cold." Rather they think this way, "TodayI will wear my purple shorts and t-shirt today because I like the color purple. And I will go outside in my flip flops because they are so pretty." Not much wisdom in that is there? Yet we allow these children to make these decisions all the while thinking we are being such a good parents. And people applaud parents for this, thinking it is so nice of us to give choices to our children and not give require certain things. Because really, it's harmless right? How bad can it be to give our children a few choices?

Here's what has happened in our experience. Let's take our 3 year old right now. She likes to pick her own clothes, she likes to choose what she wants to eat, she likes to choose whether to wear boots, flip flops, shoes or cowboy boots outside.....and so on. But we make many of these choices for her. Why? Because if we don't, we see this. She decides to go into her big sisters rooms and go through their jewellery and wear some of it. She decides to go into the closet where the school books are and write in whatever one she finds. She decided to put toothpaste on her toothbrush and brush her teeth. She decides to take a vitamin whenever she pleases throughout the day. She decides to cry and fuss when asked to clean up toys for lunch. She decides to go outside whenever she pleases. Do you see what's happening?  

Whenever I find that one of our children are having a hard time obeying the instructions that I give them I will evaluate if they are addicted to choice.

Here's what I would do for our 3 year old. I would say in the morning, "I want you to wear this." She will rarely fuss and cry about it (although I have had some that will) but she will come out with something else on. Addicted to choice! I will tell her "I want you to wear boots outside today." Do you know what she will do? Sometime pout or cry, but usually she will wear something else on her feet.....or my favourite....one boot and one sandal :) 

Our child is addicted to choice. So what do we do? Take away the choice. Not forever, just for a time. Until we think that our child will be able to handle making the choice. And there may be times in this that I will allow her to pick out her own clothes, or footwear. But at any time I should be able to take away this choice and not see it become an issue. 

As I said our 5 year old is allowed to make these choices. Why? Because if she comes out in shorts and a t-shirt one day and I ask her to change because it is too cool out, what will she do? She will go and change. She can handle not having a choice in the matter. She can handle me making the choice for her.

Now I have only talked about a 3 and a 5 year old here, but really this principle starts younger or carries on older than just these ages. As our children get older and more mature we give allow them to make more choices. As they get older and show wisdom and maturity we let them handle some choices. But there are still choices we don't allow them to make. We don't allow our almost 12 year old to drive the ATV whenever he would like, but we allow our 15 year old to. Why the difference? Age, maturity and wisdom. For families with children that are close to the same ages it very typically happens that we give our children too many choices just because the older one has them and we treat them equally. We have been guilty of this. This is not a healthy thing for the younger child. We need to be constantly aware of this. 

I could go on and on....but I hope you get the picture of how important it is not to allow your child to have too many choices before they are ready. If you are wondering if this is an issue with your child, take some choices away. See how they react. Do they flip out when they can't choose the color of their cup? Do they refuse to eat when you don't give them their choice of food? Do they fall on the floor if you don't cut their bread a certain way? Do they cause a scene at the restaurant when you pick off the menu for them? Do they wear something different than what you have laid out for them? Then they probably are addicted to choice.

We are seeing that our 3 year old is getting very close to being able to make her own choices in some areas. Take her clothing for  example. When we forget to lay something out for her she will come to us and ask us to pick her clothes. This shows that she is okay with us making the choice. Look for these signs in your parenting. They show that your child may be ready to make choices in a certain area. But if you find your child is having "issues" in certain areas, test if they are addicted to choice. Make the choice for them, see how they react, maybe they weren't ready after all.

I will say that it is much easier to carefully think through the choices you allow your child the freedom to make. It is much easier not to give them the choice than to take away the choice. Reparenting is never fun! 

So I challenge you to do the "addicted to choice" test. How did your child do? Are they addicted to choice? Or are they just fine with allowing you to have you make the choice for them? If you take away the choice at any given time, are they OK with it? If you find that you and your child seem to be going head to head all day, this may just be part of the problem. I am not saying it will charge everything, but it surely will help!

 Foolishness is bound up

 in the heart of a child. 

Proverbs 22:15b