Elijah's Birth Story

It's hard to believe that Elijah was 3 weeks old yesterday! And that it's taken me 3 weeks to write his birth story!!!


If you're not into birth stories....you will want to skip this post :)


As most of you know our daughter and son-in-law got married on Mar. 3rd. I know a lot of people were praying that baby would hold off being born until after the wedding. I have never, ever been early (without being induced) and so we weren't too concerned when we set the wedding date 2 full weeks before the baby's due date. But as we went to app't after app't and my measurements were consistently 2-4 weeks ahead of time....we started to wonder how this was all going to work out! I have always been very close in my measurements on other pregnancies....so this was something we weren't sure how to take! But we knew that God's timing was perfect and began to go through the "what ifs". Really there was not a thing we could do but wait and see how it all worked out.


The morning of the wedding came and I was relieved to know that I was not in labor and I would indeed be able to see my daughter married off! My labors are quite long so I knew that I had at least 24 hours.....plenty of time to enjoy the wonderful day!


And enjoy the wedding I did! It was a really great day and.....they got married (the goal of the day:) By the end of the day I was feeling very exhausted....we were all exhausted!!!! But still no labor.


Sunday, Monday and Tuesday came and went. These days were spent cleaning up the wedding stuff, getting the house back in order and getting ready for baby to arrive. I hadn't done a single thing to get ready for the baby before the wedding because I felt all my energy and concentration needed to be for wedding plans! After all, how long does it take to wash a few clothes and buy diapers?


Usually by this time in other pregnancies I was driving my family crazy in my "nesting" stage! But not this time....I was enjoying getting back to normal....our "new" normal.


Tuesday was a great day. We had our whole family together for supper and we had a nice time visiting. I felt pretty tired...and pregnant...but happy :) and not even thinking that I was only a couple of days away from meeting this little bundle!


At 1:30 Wednesday morning I woke up and realized that my water had broke. It took me awhile to wrap my brain around this because in every other pregnancy I have been in very active labor before my water breaks so I really didn't know what to expect. I was up and down all night knowing I should try to get some sleep yet anxious about how this labor was going to progress. If I would have known the lack of sleep we would have had over the next couple of days I might have tried harder to sleep :)


I waited until morning to tell Mark that my water had broke (no use both of us being tired!). I still was having no contractions to speak of so I dug out the baby clothes and car seat cover and started washing  them. In between washing I crocheted a couple of hats....a boy one and a girl one. By lunch time there was still no progression so I called my midwife and gave her a heads up as to what was going on. We asked her a few questions about what happens when water breaks before actual labor and how much time we had to get into active labor and if a water birth would still be possible. Then we told her we would keep her updated.


After lunch I busied myself folding clothes and packing my bags (yup, hadn't done that either :). Around 2:00 we decided to head to our midwife so she could listen to the baby and make sure things were OK. After that we then headed to the place where we planned to have the baby and played the waiting game. Oh yeah, and I bought diapers :) and a few other things we needed.


Our midwife had told us that if i wasn't in active labor by 1:30 am Thursday that she was required to consult a Dr. because apparently the risk of infection increased the longer my water was broke. So we followed her suggestions trying to get things moving but.....to no avail! We went out for supper and still nothing. Our midwife checked me a couple more times in between but by the time 11:30 rolled around there was still no labor to speak of. So she consulted a Dr. and came to tell us what he said. Because of previous c-section and this being #13, he basically didn't want to deal with me at the local hospital and said I needed to go into Winnipeg. It was then that my heart dropped.....this was so not the way I wanted this labor and delivery to go. If I had to be in the hospital, I sure didn't want to be in a city one. But my wonderful hubby calmed me down and assured me that all would be fine, and after a quick nap we packed up our things and followed our midwife to Winnipeg.


On the way I thought of the email I had written my dear friend Laura in the morning letting her know my water had broke. In it I said, "I feel at peace knowing God is in control and not focusing on my "perfect" idea of a birth! I pray God will be glorified in this birth." And so this is what I focused on.....letting go of my perfect ideas and instead focusing on glorifying God in whatever lay ahead." 


We got to Winnipeg around 3:00 and then got checked in and hooked up to a monitor. There were ladies in labor everywhere...it was crazy!!!! And of course because I wasn't in labor I wasn't top priority so there we sat. Eventually I got escorted out of my temporary bed into the waiting room and it was there we spent the remainder of the night. My wonderful midwife sacrificed a good nights sleep and sat with us in the waiting room. We drifted off every now and then only to be awakened by the constant trickle of ladies in labor. Every once in awhile we would just look at each other in disbelief and we just had to laugh cause we knew crying wasn't going to do us any good :) The thing that really got us was the fact that we had to come right away into the hospital because of risk of infection after 24 hrs.....yet there I sat and no one attended to me!!!! Finally, finally, finally at around 9:00 am Thursday morning I got a room...we were making progress!!!


Around 10:30 they finally started the meds for induction. They started things off very slowly and so it took awhile for things to progress. In the meantime the sweet nurse felt sorry for me and got me some toast for breakfast. Because of my c-section with Josiah they are pretty picky about me eating when I am in labor. Thank the Lord for nurses who have some sense :) I think it's just cruel to let a lady labor on a liquid only diet. That was the best piece of toast I have eaten in a long time!!!! 


The rest of the afternoon is a bit of a blur. I do remember lots of laughs with our midwife as we visited and waited for things to pick up. I tried to get a nap in but it seemed every time I would drift off someone would be there to wake me up and ask me questions (nurses, doctors....), and it was always the same questions! I wonder why they can't get one person to ask the questions and then relay it to the rest of them????? So needless to say, rest eluded me! 


Finally around mid afternoon things started to really pick up and we were no longer able to visit ....it was time to get down to some serious business!!!! When things started to get really tough I asked for an epidural. I think it took about an hour for the anesthesiologist to show up and by the time he did I was in real serious labor!!! I have only ever had an epidural once before....that was with our last one, Jaden, and I remember the pure relief that came when it kicked in. So I was looking forward to the same experience this time.....but it was not to be so. For after the epidural was in and I waited for the relief to come, things just got more painful. We really are still not sure why or what happened, but I just know that it didn't take the pain away!!!!! The jury is still out on whether it helped at all.....


But it was all good because by 5:55 we said hello to our precious little boy.....Elijah Hudson. 


And so once again, a very different birth than what I had hoped for....this seems to be the theme for us lately. The last 3 births were very different and not at all what we had planned. But this is the way it happened and so instead of choosing to grumble and complain...we choose to enjoy the little blessings that we got from it all!!!!! 


God's ways are not our ways......and when we choose to rest in Him and in His plan, things will be alright! I refuse to let my mind dwell on the negative of this birth....yes, I will tell the story...the whole story.....but as I look at this precious little bundle in my arms I will just be thankful! How could I not be?

Great Expectations

Through the last couple weeks God has been speaking to me about ‘my’ expectations. Especially through the birth of Josiah and the days that have followed. Josiah’s birth was really as far from the way I had expected it than any birth I have experienced so far. Going from a home birth plan to having to have an emergency c-section was not quite in our plans. But thankfully God doesn’t fulfill His plan according to my expectations. Because Josiah might not be with us today if things had went according to those. If I had went into labor when I expected I should have: I wouldn’t have had an ultrasound, I wouldn’t have been in the hospital to be induced, and I wouldn’t have been on the monitor when Josiah’s heart rate fell (in fact at the time I was inwardly grumbling about having to be on it at all). But God knew all these things. And am I ever glad that He was in control instead of me. Another thing that has made me let go of my expectations since coming home with Josiah is a simple thing like nursing my baby. Ever since Jennifer I have had issues with having enough milk to make our babies grow. Over the years I have learned different things that have helped a little, and every time we have another baby I am sure that this time ‘it will work!’ This time was no exception. ‘I’ had it all figured out. Well guess what! Things didn’t go as I expected! Josiah started to lose weight, we recognized the all too familiar pattern. I started to pump and feed my milk to him plus nurse and he gained. The only problem is that he decided that it was easier to drink the supplement than to nurse from me. This has not happened to me since Megan. I have been able to supplement and still nurse. But at this point Josiah seems to want to have nothing to do with my plan! So once again my expectations have not happened. And I had to work at not letting this get me down. To learn to trust that for whatever reason, this is the way God allowed it to be. EXPECTATIONS. Then I started to think about the many times that I have ‘my’ expectations in life. And how many times I have gotten frustrated when things haven’t gone according to my plan. But as in the case of Josiah’s birth, I only see such a small part of the big picture. But God sees it all from beginning to end. He knows what is best and why. I am not saying it is bad to have dreams and goals. But in my dreams and goals I need to understand that I don’t see it all. I need to be able to go with God when He changes the route and He orders a detour. I need to trust Him even when things don’t go according to the way I expected them to. Have you ever used a GPS? We have appreciated it many times when navigating through a city. It tells which way to turn, what lane to get into, lets you know where there are detours and construction and even tells you when you are off route. And we trust it to take us where we want to go. And this is the way I need to trust my ‘God Positioning System’. Not to question His directive promptings, but to know that He will bring me on the route that is best for me. This is the Psalm my mom felt she was to pray for us in the day’s that we were waiting for Josiah’s birth. I am so glad that He directed our path.

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

Your rod and your staff,

they comfort me. You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Josiah's BIrth Story

The last few days have been a roller coaster of events, but looking back now we see how God's hand has been in it all. I'll start with the days of waiting. Every day we thought this would be the day, some days there were more signs than others. But there were signs, and yet we would go to bed each night and things would not progress. We were in almost daily contact with my midwife over the last few days and we were all wondering why things were not moving forward. It seemed Josiah's head just would not come down. Seemed like his head was stuck in an awkward position (which we found out later to be true). So our midwife suggested several things to get things 'into position' but none of them were working. And now we know why :) Over these few waiting days we kept saying how God's timing was perfect, and we realized again how absolutely true that is. Finally on the morning of January 8th (Mark's birthday) I went for an ultrasound appointment to make sure baby was OK. After the ultrasound I went to see my midwife and she checked me to find that things had changed a little, so maybe "this would be the day!" Mark and I went out for lunch when my midwife called and said that the ultrasound showed that I was low on amniotic fluid so she consulted a doctor and she had said I should come in right away to the hospital and get labor going. At this point I was a little frustrated, as this is not the way 'I' wanted things to go. But Mark and I talked it through and felt that this was the best thing at this point. When we got to the hospital they hooked me up to the monitor and a short while later the doctor came in to rupture my membranes. She wasn't sure if it had worked because it was hard to reach and because the amniotic fluid was low, she couldn't tell. So she said she would check back in a couple of hours and see how things were progressing. By then my midwives had arrived and we kind of all just sat there and looked at each other and joked how we should have brought some cards or something so we could play a game! My midwife was looking at the monitor and the print out of his heartbeat and had just said how healthy he looked. No sooner had those words come out of her mouth that the heartbeat went way low. Thinking that the baby had moved positions and that it was just picking up my pulse, they tried to find the heartbeat again. After realizing that it still wasn't working, she called in the nurse. The nurse got me to move different positions, but still the heartbeat stayed low. She got my midwife to check if the cord was coming first, it wasn't. They called in the doctor who put a monitor on baby's head to get the heart beat that way. The heart beat which was before from 120-145 was now 50-104. And from there everything went fast forward. Everyone was telling me to do this and that, hands and knees, side to side and finally the doctor said that I needed to have a c-section. Within what seemed a couple of minutes I was signing papers, drinking 'something' (I later found out was for nausea) and was whisked off to the OR. As I looked up at the ceiling I thought 'This is just like a movie. Am I really living this?' I felt bad for Mark that he couldn't come in the room because they were putting me right out. After getting in the operating room there was a person on every side of me doing 'something'. And then they put me to sleep. I looked at the time and it was 2:45 p.m. He was born at 2:55 p.m. I was dreaming nicely and then woke up to excruciating pain in my stomach. The nurse told me that I had a baby boy. It took me a little while to get my bearings. And then it all came back. My baby was out. At that point I was shaking uncontrollably because of the pain until the morphine kicked in. They asked me if I wanted to see my baby. Of course I said yes. A couple minutes later Mark walked in with him. I looked at Mark and gave a feeble 'Happy Birthday' and then kissed and kissed my baby boy. I was too emotional to speak, so I just kissed as it sunk in that he was a little miracle that we were very close to losing. The nurse later told us that when they took Josiah out and he was crying they gave a cheer. They also mentioned how amazing it was that everyone that was needed to do the surgery was right there and that both operating rooms were empty at the time. I should also have been off the monitor the time the heartbeat went down, but for 'some reason' I was on longer. We all know why! Josiah and I are doing great. I had to stay in the hospital a day longer because my blood pressure is up. They put me on medication and hopefully it settles down on its own. I am so glad to be back home with our family.