SUPER MOM

When I meet a lady for the first time, and as we talk and get to know one another, eventually the subject of children comes up. And when she finds out that we have 13 children, her response is usually one of speechlessness or "You must be SUPER MOM!!!!"

Honestly, I don't usually know how to respond to this and often mutter something like, "If you lived with me you would definitely come to realize that I am far from 'super mom'!

SUPER MOM.....a very daunting title....and to huge to live up to, yet I think all of us moms try. Pinterest definitely has a way of encouraging us to try the impossible, to be more creative and to go all out. Blogs of other fine woman have made us want to be a better mom, given us hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and helped us feel like there are others out there in our shoes.

But all of these things, as positive as they can be on our lives, can also be very discouraging and damaging to the view and expectations we hold for ourselves. Everything on pinterest looks so perfect, organized and flawless. But we don't see the many failed attempts before this project was perfected. Blogs can make moms seem so "Super Momish"and alway joyful with never a down moment. But if we were a fly on the wall for a day we would soon find out that she has struggles of her own.

Today as I was making laundry soap I thought to myself, "A decade ago I would have laughed if someone would have told me that I would be making my own laundry soap in a few years." Why? Because a decade ago I had a small brood of children that took my every time and effort just to keep our home and lives afloat. Because if I would have even attempted to think about making laundry soap, I would have felt overwhelmed.

As moms we have to be very careful who we measure ourselves up to. We have to think through what stage we are in our lives and understand that we may not be able to do it all today....but maybe tomorrow......or next year.....or the next decade! When we pin stuff on pinterest we may have to remind ourselves that this is something we will put on the shelf until our lives permit it to be accomplished. When we read that fine mom's blog we need to understand that even though we may not be able to accomplish all that she does in a day.....but someday, when are children are a little older, we may be able to.

I have made the mistake too many time of measuring myself up to moms who looked like "SUPER MOM". And when I have done so, I have usually felt like a failure as a mom. Having 13 children means I have been pregnant 117 months or 9.75 years. It also means that I have had a newborn baby or have been getting up in the night with an infant for about 78 months or 6.5 years. That makes for approx. 16.25 years of feeling tired, ill, hormonal, unmotivated, or just plain "not SUPER MOM!" No wonder there have been days that I have only felt I am able to get the bare necessities done in our home!!! But I soon came to realize that measuring myself up to a mom who had 13 children of whom the youngest was 5, or a mom who had 4 children...all of them school age, or a mom who had children who were all 3 years apart....was just not smart. Because I was at the stage that I was right then....and it is not the same stage as SUPER MOM on the blog or down the street or on pinterest.....I was at the stage  that I was at right then....and I needed to realize that was OK. I would not be able to be all to all. I may not be able to have a perfect home full of homemade decorations with the windows clean and the floor all shiny. I may have to sit for a few hours a day nursing a baby or resting because I feel ill. But I had to realize that was OK!!!! It was not worth knocking myself out, or beating myself up because I didn't measure up to "SUPER MOM"!

Now this didn't give me an excuse to be lazy or sit around and read a book all day. This didn't give me and excuse to have a unhealthy unclean home, macaroni and cheese meals every day, or ignore my husband and children's needs. But it gave me a reason to focus on the main things....prioritize every day what I needed to accomplish and leave alone the things that I thought would make me a "SUPER MOM"! It meant that there might be fingerprints on the wall, that the dishes may have to sit in the sink for longer than I like and that I may have to buy laundry detergent :) But I needed to be OK with that.

Today I make my own laundry detergent, I can get the day's wash done, the floor is usually relatively clean, the dishes are done, I make yogurt, the garden is weeded and clean.....but tomorrow, or next year, or next decade....it may not be. Not because I am not a SUPER MOM, but because I am at a different stage of my life. A stage that God has put me in at that moment. And I will need to be OK with that.

So put away all the SUPER MOM mentalities that have been making you feel overwhelmed, frustrated and inadequate, and look to the stage you are at today....prioritize what is necessary and do those things. Go ahead and pin those things on pinterest.....read that Mom's blog that you admire....but realize that you are who you are, and you are right in the stage and place that God has put you. And remember that a real SUPER MOM is one who is content to be where God has put her today. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, not a decade from now....but today. And next time you see someone who seems like a "SUPER MOM" in your eyes....instead of trying to live up to here.....bless her and smile, knowing that she is human just like you....just in a different stage of life! And be OK with that :)

Marriage Series (part 2)

So to continue our series I wanted to talk about spending time with your spouse. You may be saying "well ya, obviously!" But even though we know in our heads that this is a very important thing to actually do...sometimes it's much easier said than done!

Relationship in marriage does not just happen...it needs to be cultivated and nurtured. Too many couples make the mistake of thinking that once they get married they will be with each other daily and the marriage bond will just happen. This may be true in the first few years, but after awhile it's not so easy. People and things start to take more and more of our time away from each other. It may be a job, ministry, friends or even our own children that causes this to happen. They may all be "good" things....but too many times they/it can steal our time. And often it happens so slowly that we barely recognize it!

What does it mean to make your marriage a priority? Well, just that. Making your spouse the most important part of your day. Giving your spouse the best of you, not the leftovers.

I can hear all the young moms saying, "I can barely get the food on the table, keep the house clean or get the laundry done. And now you want to add another thing on my plate? I am telling you this from someone who has been there. I have had many little ones and no big help. I have been up countless numbers of times in the night with a newborn. I have had the overwhelming feelings that I was never going to get all the work done that I needed to. But I can also tell you something else...... I have never, ever regretted the time that I have invested into our marriage. In fact, I wish I had done it more.

We have seen many couples who have poured all of their time and energies into their children in their growing up years and then one day their children leave the home and what are they left with...two people who barely know each other. Why? Because all of their time was spent investing in others while ignoring the relationship that started it all! Please don't let this be what happens to you.

This doesn't have to be something complicated, or take a lot of money. It can be just the simple little things that will make a huge difference. The most important thing it takes a change of mindset. It takes you asking the question every day, "Who is the most important person in my life?" It takes evaluating at the end of the day, "Who did I invest the most of my time/energy in?" It takes a heart of truly wanting your marriage to be the best that it can be and the willingness to take the effort to make it so.

Mark and I love to be on dates together. We find this a great time where we can focus on each other without having to wipe a child's nose, bring one to the bathroom, or answer the 'oh so urgent' question. It's a time where we can give each other our undivided attention. A time where we can have heart to hearts without little ears listening in. Over the years, depending on our situation, we have had many kinds of "dates"  Some have been going out somewhere, many have been combined with our weekly shopping trip, some have been overnighters and some have just been at home. Probably my most memorable dates have been the ones where we put the kids in bed and then have our own romantic candlelit supper. It takes no money, just a bit of time and planning. And wives, a word to you. It is not always the husbands job to make a date happen. As long as you are in tune with the finances and knowing your husbands schedule you can plan the date! Or you can make a special evening at home for the two of you. Don't make it his job and get all offended if he never plans anything! You can do this to!

We have led the course "Growing Kids God's Way" many times over the past 15+ years. We so appreciate that the Ezzos saw fit to teach on the importance of a strong marriage in the raising of our children. They make the point that when your marriage is strong it offers security to your children. If they know that you love each other, their little world feels so secure. They talk about going on dates and telling your children, "This is for your good!" We have said that to our children many times over the years when they have asked to come with us. We tell them, "No, we are going on a date...and it's for your good!" And they often smile from ear to ear :) This sends a message to your children that your marriage is worth investing in and that it's very important to both of you. And even though their little minds may not understand it...their hearts do. Now when our children hear that we are going on date the word spreads quickly throughout the family and you hear the children all saying to each other excitedly, "Dad and Mom are going on a date!" It really makes their heart glad! Now a word of caution here....if you have had a home where your children have been the centre of attention and you have not made your marriage a priority, you are probably going to feel some resistance from your children. There may be bouts of crying and making you feel real bad about leaving them, but remember to tell them and yourself, "This is for your good!"

But dates aren't the only way to make your marriage a priority although that is a very good tool. Think back to before you were married. When you were away from your love, who did you think about? I think most of our responses would be, "I thought about my love, ALL DAY LONG!" Do you know it can still be that way? You can purpose to think about, give notes, pray for, send texts to your love throughout the day. And when you do you are making a statement, "You are the most important person in my life. When you are gone I think about you." What about when your husband comes home. What do you do? Do you give him your time and attention. Ask him how his day was? Do you make him feel like you missed him while he was gone? Or do your kids get the upper hand with Daddy? You may have to fight your way in there to give your hubby some loving :)

I hope you are getting the picture here. It's not about "what" you do, it's not about "you have to go for a date once a week" or rules like that, it's about your heart attitude towards your marriage. It's about being intentional to making your marriage a priority. It's about not letting your everyday life take over your marriage relationship. It's about loving each other enough to make this work. Remember, it's all a matter of your heart! How much effort are you willing to put into it? How important is your marriage to you?

God is in Control

There are so many joys to being a parent. Moments that I will cherish forever! But with these joys comes some very hard times as well. We experienced one of these hard times this past week.

I think one of the toughest things about being a parent is watching your children hurting, either physically or emotionally. No matter how young or old they are it's natural for us to want to fix everything and make it all better. But that's not always possible or wise.

Sometimes God allows our kids to go through tough things that we can't understand with our human minds. And as parents we long to take their pain as our own. But we also know that God causes things to happen for a purpose and that if we try to fix everything we can sometimes get in the way of what God is trying to do in their lives.

Last week we found out Henry and Megan had lost their baby through a miscarriage. Though we are weeping with them, we are also believing with them that God has a purpose for this and we have know that He is in control. We are thankful to say that Henry and Megan are both doing very well and we are blessed to see how mature they are in their faith in God. It has truly carried both of them through this and it is evident to see their trust in Him.

As I was praying for Henry and Megan last week and thinking about this post, this song came on the radio and I knew it had the perfect words for this time.

Halloween: Is it just about tricks and treats?

We have chosen as a family not to celebrate Halloween. Not only does this mean not dressing up and going door to door with our kids, but we have also chosen not to attend any other functions that are an alternative to Halloween. And here are our reasons why.

1. We feel that Halloween is not a day that is honoring to God. It doesn't take much to see all the evil and darkness that centers around Halloween. Just go into any department store around Halloween.....the signs are everywhere. And it seems to get worse every year. So bad in fact that I hate to take my kids shopping with me this time of year. There are many "spiritual" explanations to when/why Halloween started. Forgive me for being so blunt here, but I don't really care how it started! Why? Because what we see of the celebration of Halloween today is nothing like how they say it started. So why would we want to participate in something that leans so much towards elevating evil and so far away from honoring God? God says in Romans 12:9 "Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." When as parents we allow our kids to participate in something that so clearly elevates evil, what kind of a message are we sending to them? I think it's a mixed message. Abhor (detest/hate) is not a weak word....I don't think God put that word in there by accident. It's a definite strong command. For an interesting read on how the jack o' lantern came about go here. You may be surprised!

2. We don't believe that we have to offer something to appease the fact that we choose not to celebrate something like Halloween. If we choose not to do something because we want to honor God, we do not need to substitute something fun to take its place. This is not reality of the Christian life. There are going to be many times in our children's lives that they will have to make choices, hard choices that will not have a "fun" alternative. We need to teach our kids that there will be some things that they will not be able to participate in and that their only (and best) reward will be in pleasing their Heavenly Father. That should always be our goal, and that's the goal that what we should be teaching our children. As parents I think we, too many times, feel sorry for our children and the fact that they have to "miss out" on stuff because they are Christians and so we offer something in the place of it all to make them feel better. I believe this is totally unneccessary and even harmful for our children. 1 John 2:15-17 says, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." Pretty clear, don't you think? Would you put Halloween in the category of what is in the world or what is of the Father?

3. How about cultivating the spirit of giving? This isn't quite what I see in Halloween, going door to door and begging for treats!!!! Not that it's wrong for our kids to have candy or to receive things, but this seems like a bit of the oppostite attitude of giving to me! I know society expects it...and doesn't even mind it...I realize that completely, but again, what is it saying to our children? Our kids are like little sponges!!! They soak up the positive and the negative things that happen around them. Don't think that this doesn't affect them!!! It does!!! And if you really want your kids to experience a bucket full of candy....go out and buy it (I recommend after Halloween since the candy goes on sale :) and give it to them, without them having to beg for it!!!

Please know that I don't mean to offend or point fingers to anyone for the way they choose to participate in Halloween, rather I would challenge you to think about what your participation should be, if any. Instead of just doing something because that's the way you've always done it, or because that's how others do it, search God's Word, line up your participation in Halloween to it, pray for God to shed His light on this and if you still feel comfortable celebrating or participating in the holiday, at least you can say you have searched scripture and have thought it through. We have a huge responsiblity as parents that goes beyond caring for our children's physical needs, we are training their hearts....it's a big deal!!!! Therefore everything we choose to let them do, or not to do should be done with great prayer and thought and it needs to line up with the Word of God. What an awesome responsibility, what an amazing privelage....just look at what God has entrusted you with....WOW....let's not take it lightly!!!

For the word of God is living and powerful,

and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit,

and of joints and marrow,

and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

Fruits of the Spirit Series: LOVE

When asking for ideas about blog posts it was suggested that I write a series on the fruits of the Spirit. I thought that was a great idea (thanks Sherri!) 

What better place to start than with the first fruit of the Spirit.....LOVE. Wow....a little word with HUGE meaning!

1 Corinthians 13 is a famous scripture about love, and rightly so. It is packed with explanation of what real love is!

Love (loving) is a word that is a commonly used around our home, as well as are the phrases that demonstrate love in 1 Corinthians 13. Words/ phrases like, "love is not rude, have patience, be kind, think of others first, be humble, say good things about your sibling, and you need to be happy for your brother/sister (does not seek it's own).

But if we want teach our children to love one another we have to model love in our own lives, in our relationship with our spouse and children and those we come in contact with. We need can't just tell our children what love is, we also need to show them. So once again, it starts with our hearts! So many times when I have been frustrated about our child being less than loving, God gently reminds me that I am struggling with the same thing, just in a different way.  It's so easy to pick at someone else's faults, especially our children's and not even see that need to deal with a similar issue in my own heart!

Now I am not saying that we should wait to train/discipline our children until we have it all together. But our children need to at least be able to see that we are working on our hearts too. This is how we will be able to best disciple our children.

In a family, no matter what the size, there are always plenty of opportunities to practice love! Thats why family is such a great place! What a great opportunity our children have, to love right in the safety of our own home! Think of what a great preparation for the future this is. What a great husband/wife or parent they will be when they learn to love as God asks us to! Remember, we are not just training our children for the here and now, we are training them for the future and for future generations. And even though we will enjoy the peace and harmony in a home filled with love, our motivation to love is to bring glory to God and in doing so we will be a testimony to others of the One Who's love is perfect! "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35


I would encourage you to hang up the 1 Corinthians 13 scripture in your home. It will be a great tool to use when talking about love to your children and a great reminder for everyone, including yourself!

Talk often of Biblical love. Use the words found in scripture. Be kind vs don't be mean, be gentle vs don't be so rough, have patience vs wait, that was prideful vs it's not all about you! And so on. There is power in the Word of God! So use it!

I could say so much about love and how important it is to teach your children to love their parents, love their siblings and love their neighbors. Love is huge! Love is powerful and as the Bible says, love will cover a multitude of sin. (1 Peter 4:8) If we don't know how to love, we will not find true fulfillment in our walk with God, for He is love. If we don't know how to love, we will have a hard time receiving the love of God. 

Now to the practical how's of teaching your children to love each other. In our family it is a full time job to keep on top of it and be sure that there is love among everyone. And I must say that the earlier you teach your children to love each other, the easier this task will be!

As soon as our babies start to interact, we work on teaching them to love. If a baby pulls your hair (or others) or if they poke your eyes out or slap your face we pull their hands away and firmly say " be gentle"! If they keep doing this and seem to need a little more "encouragement" we squeeze their hand or arm. It is never, ever OK to hurt someone so why would we want to let our babies start this habit? Don't underestimate your baby, they are smart little cookies!

Ok, so let's move on to a toddler who hits his sibling or pushes them down. Again, be firm, talk about love and gentleness and after being warned if they continue to hit, give them some form of punishment. If you catch it right away, you will diffuse a lot of problems later on, because nastiness left unheeded will not just go away, it will grow.

So now we have a 5-12 yr old. I find with boys, they most often seem to use physical force to make a point, where as girls usually have what I call "cat fights".....they use words to hurt each other.

We do several things with older boys who decide to use physical force to get their point across. One of our favorites when we have two boys fighting, would be that they would have to hold hands until we say to stop. As silly as this sounds, it is quite effective. The 2 involved are usually quite upset at each other, but once they have to hold hands and continue on in their daily routine (chores or playing) they soon have to learn to co-operate and it doesn't take too long until they are laughing and buddies again! But the key is we won't let them stop holding hands until they are OK with each other! But we will never let a malicious act go unpunished. If this is the case, we know there are serious issues in the heart that need to be dealt with. With older kids there is no need to give a warning when they hurt someone. They know that hurting someone is not acceptable and it should be punished immediately! 

Now if our girls offend their siblings with words, we will often get them to say 5 or 10 nice things to each other to make up for the nasty things they said! The offended loves this! But the offender.... not so much! Words can be very hurtful and we don't treat unkind words lightly. Our kids are no allowed to say things like "I'm not going to be your friend anymore"  or "your mean" or "I don't like you (or hate you) or "I'm not going to play with you anymore." Those are unkind words and they do not go unpunished. I am not saying that only girls say mean things to each other, but more often than boys.

And after the age of 12 there can still be many non-love issues, but they are often a little more sneaky and subtle.....nasty looks, rude comments, unacceptable tone of voice, ignoring someone.....as a parent it is important for you to watch out for these things. Talk them through. Take the two (or more) who are having a hard time loving each other and help them to work it out. When there is love in the home there is harmony. And harmony is a very beautiful thing. So work toward it, work hard!

So as you go about your days, think about Biblical love. Think about our greatest example of love. Let the desire to have a loving home burn in your heart. Pray for harmony often. Encourage your children when you see them do an act of love. Tell them you are proud of them. Discourage the unacceptable behavior, praise the good. When your family is full of love, it will be a testimony to others. It will point others to the One who is True Love! That should be our goal.

This is a very broad subject and I realize I could only cover very few issues. If you have any questions, or comments please feel free :)

Before Their Eyes

“Parents!  The work entrusted to us is holier than we know.  The precious instrument, so delicate, so wonderfully made, so marred by sin already, and so exposed to its power, is of such inconceivable worth.  To take charge on an immortal soul, to train a will for God and eternity, surely we ought to shrink from it.  But we cannot.  If we are parents, the duty is laid upon us. But, thank God!  Sufficient grace is prepared and promised too.  If we do but give up our home and our life to God for Him to come in and rule, He will Himself take possession, and by the gentle influence of His Holy Spirit bow their will to Himself.”

~Rev. Andrew Murray, The Children for Christ

We have been labeled a few things over the years of raising our children. One of them is that we are "too protective".  I am not offended when people say this...more I am saddened that they don't understand.

We have chosen to do/not to do a lot of things for the protection of our children over the years. Some things are not very popular, most things are not easy, but we haven't regretted the decisions we have made in this area.

One thing that we have been particularly careful over the years of raising children is what we are feeding them. I am not talking about physically, but in the area of entertainment.

Since our children started to read we have found it a real challenge to find good wholesome reading material or videos to watch for their age (elementary-teen). And I can say that as the years go on it gets harder and harder. I am honestly appalled when I walk into a Bible Book Store and see some of the reading material that is in the kids section. It doesn't take long to see how the Christian world is trying to keep up with the secular world in the area of entertainment. I would be ashamed (and honestly feel creepy) having some of those books in our home. How I think God weeps when He sees such garbage.

What we allow our kids eyes to see and mind to take in is NO SMALL MATTER. The ideas, beliefs and values that they get from entertainment will affect them for life. And so it has made us rethink many times what we should allow into our children's minds, hearts and into our house.

Even though children are born with a sin nature, they also come with an innocence. An innocence that sadly over time becomes less and less. Some of their innocence is lost by the harsh realities of life. But some of their innocence is crushed simply by what we, as parents, allow them to be exposed to. So many of the things that we say are part of our value system are just thrown away while watching a movie or reading a book. How sad.

So really the world of entertainment in our family is narrowed down to...well .....NOT MUCH!!!! There is just not that much good, Godly stuff out there that supports the values we have as a family. And we are not willing to compromise the values that we teach our children for the sake of entertainment.

For books we stick mostly to missionary biographies or character building stories for children. There are a lot of great biographies out there that highten our children's desire to live for God. I like to read our smaller children stories that reinforce the truths that we find in God's Word. Businesses that sell home schooling material have some great resources in this area.

We have chosen to stay away from most of the Disney type books and movies. We haven't found many that support the values that we try to live out as a family. We also find that many of the characters are literally idolized by children, and we choose to stay far away from that.

If a book does not have a good wholesome message behind it and doesn't encourage good behaviour....we will not read it. I have been in the middle of many a books in our days of raising our family, only to stop and throw it right in the garbage. The character in the book may have a bad attitude towards his/her parents, or use words that we do not use in our family, or treat siblings unfairly...why would I train my child it is not Godly to act this way and then have no problem reading it to them in a book? Is that not teaching my child a double standard?

There are some Christian organizations out there that do movie reviews. It didn't take me long to realize that one organization in particular was one I couldn't trust to review movies for our family! They say things like, "Such and such movie has a bit of violence, some crude or profane language and some very revealing ways of dressing.....so I will give it a 5 out of 10!" You have GOT to be kidding me! A 5 out of 10 for family friendly with all those things in it? Really.....what is wrong with this picture? With all of those things...I would give it a 0 out of 10....YES I said 0!!!!

So for videos for our children we mostly get ones that are educational. There are a lot of great videos about animals and the world around us (watch for the evolution though!) If you would like a list of our favourites you can send me an email and I will gladly tell you :)

Standing up in this area has not been easy. For one thing we find that as humans there is a constant desire to be entertained. And what's easier than just vegging in front of the TV, forgetting about the world around you for awhile and be entertained. I am not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but I do believe it becomes harmful to us when we put our morals and values on the shelf for the sake of entertainment. We may cringe when we hear those profane words, we may close our eyes when we see someone scantily dressed, we may choose not to laugh at the off color jokes....and then we call it all good? Why? Because we like to be entertained!

As a family we find we need to have a constant awareness of the dangers of the world of entertainment. Regretfully we have slipped many times and then we have went through our videos and promptly thrown the "undgodly" movies where they belong....in the garbage. Then we repent of our ways, and ask God to help us to be more careful in our choices. No movie is more important than our relationship with God....NONE!

What about ratings? With changing times, we find we cannot trust ratings anymore. There are many, many G movies that we will not watch. Just because it says "G" doesn't mean it's Godly!

So I say this to challenge all of us to watch what we put before our/our children's eyes. Is it worth being entertained for a couple of hours only to compromise our values? When we watch a movie, do we keep in mind the holiness of God and how He hates sin? How about the old cliche..."What would Jesus do?" Would He sit there and watch that movie with you? Or would He promptly walk out of the room? Does God weep over the things we allow our families to view? Do you view a movie through the eyes of God?

I  believe Satan has made an inroad into Christian hearts through entertainment, this generation like no other. Especially in kids movies....most of it is good, and then there are just a couple of "bad parts" thrown in there. And we tolerate it...because it's mostly good! That's foolishness.....it really is. I say we need to WAKE UP! We need to see it for what it really is. We need to stop compromising what we believe. We need to....for the sake of following our God 100%.....WE NEED TO!!

And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea. Mark 9:42

I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me. Psalm 103:3

Harmony

There are times in our family where things are peaceful and everyone is getting along and then there are mornings like this morning where it seems that there is quarrelling and discord everywhere I turn.

Satan attacked family/brothers/sister/relationships from the beginning of time. And he hasn't stopped.

The family is a very strong unit when there is harmony. God has perfectly fit different personalities, strengths & weaknesses to form a unit that is not easily broken...that is until Satan throws the darts of discord.

It can be something so insignificant that starts the spark. This morning it was a muffin....an insignificant little muffin! Or resentment of cleaning up someone else's mess, or the annoyance of the younger trying to keep the older "in line!"

There are so many things that can cause discord in a family. That is why we have to be on guard. A seemingly little thing can fester and get way out of control.

We always tell our kids that it's about our heart. We CANNOT fix or change someone else's heart. But we can change or fix ours. And when we work on our heart, it's amazing how things seem so much better....even though the situation hasn't changed much. If we, as families, can get that one little concept into our hearts, we will have harmony.

The attack on the family is not by accident. Satan knows how far a family can go for the Lord if there is harmony. The state of your family today will affect generations to come. We need to stop thinking just about the here and now and start thinking about the next and next and next generations. If we have family discord now....but by the grace of God, it will continue on. Likewise if we have family harmony now....it will affect generations to come.

Often when some or all of us have sung together as a family, people have commented on the beautiful harmony. And the same when I hear some families sing together....the harmony is so perfect. It is easy on the ears.

The same when we are in harmony in our relationships as a family....it's a beautiful thing. It's amazing what can be accomplished when there is harmony! Everyone working together for a common goal.

And that's why I believe it makes Satan shudder when he sees a family work together in harmony. Because he knows what it can do for the kingdom of God.

Yesterday our pastor gave a message about not letting go of God, no matter what comes our way. He also talked about STANDING when the darts of the enemy come.

As we are training our children today....it's not just about petty arguments and little spats....it's about family harmony. It's a huge deal! Let's not get shot down by the fiery darts....rather let's STAND STRONG!!!

And when families are strong and they join together as a church....imagine the impact that will have! We will already know how to get along, we will know how to handle opposition, we will see the insignificance of petty things, we will know how to work on our hearts....we will be STRONG!!!

God has created an amazing unit...the family. It wasn't by accident...it was by design! 

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

“The absence of doctrinal teaching and preaching is certainly one of the causes for the present lamentable ignorance in the church. But a still more influential cause is found in the failure of the most important of all Christian educational institutions. The most important Christian educational institution is not the pulpit or the school, important as these institutions are; but it is the Christian family. J. Gresham Machen (1881-1937)

His Strength

This is Mark and I and our precious grandson Andy....isn't he so sweet :)

Do you ever have times when you look at the mound of stuff that has to be done and just wonder how in the world you are ever going to accomplish it? I do, in fact that's kind of how I feel right now.

Over the weekend we just took a bit of a whirlwind trip to Alberta where we met up with Mark's family. We left on Saturday morning bright and early and drove almost a 1000 km to Medicine Hat where we stayed for night. Then on Sunday we drove the rest of the way to Calgary and met up with Mark's family at the hotel. We spent the rest of Sunday and all day Monday with them and then Tuesday morning we drove the 1200 km back home. Yup.....whirlwind!!

Before we took the trip I wondered how everyone would do, how I would do! But my husband is the optimist of the two of us and he said it would be just fine....and it was!

Although there were bumps along the way! When I went to get Jaden up Saturday morning (the morning we left) I found him covered in the stuff that happens when someone has the stomach flue. My first thought was "OH NO!" When you have a family this size, the stomach flue is no small thing, actually it is something I dread! And the stomach flue while traveling....double negative :)  But at that moment, instead of worrying, I purposed to give it over to God and asked for protection for the rest of the family and healing of Jaden. I am glad to say that he was fine the rest of the trip.

A few hours into our trip Mark said he wasn't feeling too well. By the time we arrived at our destination for the night.....he was very, very ill.....with the stomach flue. Poor guy, not a fun way to start a vacation! And again I had to give it to God. In the back (OK front!) of my mind I am thinking, "What if everyone gets this?" Again, I prayed for healing for Mark and protection for the rest. At the same time I knew that God was allowing this for a reason.....maybe it was for me to trust Him more?

The next morning Mark was starting to feel better, I gathered reports from the other rooms to how people were feeling. Kerri and Mikaya were sick in the night but seemed to be on the mend. Once again, I prayed for healing and protection!

I am so thankful to report that no one else got majorly sick. There were a few unsettled tummies but that was it.

So now we are home and feeling well. Yet there are still instances many, many times a day where I have to stop and fully focus on God and give things over to Him.

This time of year is a really busy one for us all. As soon as we got home (Mark and I stayed the night in Brandon to get parts while the kids drove on home) the guys got busy getting the swathers ready and by last evening they were out in the field swathing. BANG....holidays over :)

And because the garden kept producing while we were gone there were peas to pick and pickles to be made! (Thanks girls for taking care of that!)

I find when times are busy like this I have to take one task at a time (and give everyone one task!!) If I look at all that needs to be accomplished I start to feel overwhelmed.

Many times when people see how many children we have they say, "How do you do it?" To which I reply, "Only with God's strength!" Because I know without His strength I would be melting in a puddle of overwhelmed tears!

I am so thankful for God's strength. I am so thankful that the joy of the Lord is my strength! I am so thankful that He doesn't ask me to do it all at once, but just one step at a time. I am so thankful that if I keep my eyes on Him things seem much more manageable.

The tasks before me today will be there until I get them done. So there is no use worrying about how I will get them done. All I need to do is be diligent to do what has been set before me.....one thing at a time.

When I have a lot to do in a day  here is what I try to do
#1 Decide what is the most important...and do that first.

#2 Start a task and finish it before moving on to the next....in other words...don't get distracted!

#3 Make sure that I am not neglecting my relationship with my family in my busyness. If I can, I will try to include at least one of our children in a task I am working on. Kids love to work together with their parents!

#4 Cut out or limit my time at the computer. It's amazing how much time can be used up while sitting at the computer!

#5 Choose carefully the things/people I say yes to......ministies, activities, jobs and stuff that happens outside our family. My family must come first! I find when I get too busy with things outside our family my calling as a mother suffers! Being a mother is my ministry!

#6 Eat properly so I have energy! 

#7 Have a positive attitude. If my attitude stinks.....my day will stink....GUARANTEED!

#8 Remember that God is the source of my strength and that things will seem way less overwhelming if I keep my eyes focused on Him!

Friends for Life

I know I have mentioned many times, on this blog, how we believe it is very important for our children to be each others best friends. And many times I have been asked by my readers just how we get that to happen. It has taken me a LONG time to get this post down in writing but here is some of our thoughts on this topic.

When our children are still very young we teach them to LOVE one another using 1 Cor. 13:4-8a
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

Love never fails." When siblings live in true love towards each other, they are best friends :)

We believe that a major contribution to our children being each other's best friends is simply because we homeschool. They spend all day, every day together. If they want a playmate.....they will play with a sibling. If they want someone to talk to.....it will often be to a sibling. And so it naturally happens that by spending so much time together they become best friends!

Another things we have concentrated on over the years is not to make a big deal about having friends outside of our family. We don't make an effort to "get" friends for our children. Yes, it happens, but not because we saw that there was a void or a need. It's because there are great people out there that our children have gotten to know. I hear way to often how parents get their kids into activities, sports, or groups so that they can meet new friends. It's great to have friends, and we are not against that, but it can place stress on siblings relationships. Instead of having "friends"over, we choose to have families over. This is a great way to make friends, everyone can fellowship together, children learn to get along with ALL ages, and there is always lots of fun to be had with large numbers!

Over the past few years we made a decision as a family to limit sleep overs (only under very specific occasions do they happen). The reasoning for this is because we saw the ugliness that would happen when we had sleep overs. More often than not, the one having the friends over would become very unloving to his/her siblings. It was like they became a different person overnight. At first we chalked it up to lack of sleep...but then we started to realize it was much more than that. It was peer pressure. This is the first we saw negative peer pressure raise it's ugly head in our family. And it didn't take us long to realize it was just not a healthy thing. 

Another thing that we believe contributes towards siblings as best friends is not allowing a lot of "me" time (meaning the child). We have found this to be another thing that causes a lot of frustration and resentment among siblings. Frustration of being interrupted by a sibling or hurt feelings while someone is being left out. When our children become young adults they have quiet time in their rooms for prayer/bible study time, but even at this age long periods of isolation are not encouraged. Too much "me" time usually translates into meism. "I am the most important person, I NEED time to myself, I want everyone to leave me alone!" God put us in a family for a reason. If He would have wanted our children to be isolated, He wouldn't have given them any sibings. But He didn't choose that....He chose a bunch of people to live under one roof. And what character we have learned from it!

We often tell our children how important it is to invest in their relationship with their brothers and sisters. From the oldest to the youngest, they need to nurture and cultivate relationships with each other. It takes effort and sometimes it is even hard work, but it will be so worth it in the end. When our children are grown they will lose touch with most of the friends they have now. But their brothers and sisters will always be there. They are stuck to each other for life. And that is why the way the treat each other now is so very important for their future. We learned long ago that we don't raise our children for the here and now. We train them for the future. And cultivating friendships with each other is no exception!

Now this is by no means an exclusive list nor is it the only way that siblings will become best friends. This is just what our experience has been and we have found that it has worked. And since you asked.....I told you :)

Lingering Tears

Do you ever talk to someone who is making an important, life changing decision and you wonder if you should give advice or not, even if they are not asking for it?

I have come across this dilemma many times in my life, and it was often about the same subject....a couple making the decision to "fix" it so that they won't have any more children. Sometimes I have voiced my opinion, other times I haven't.

And then there is the other side of the story that I hear so often.....the regret for making a permanent decision that they wish could be undone. This breaks my heart. I often wonder....."WHAT IF SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD THEM?" Told them that children are a blessing, that when they leave God in control there is no having to figure things out. That when you have little ones, they actually grow up and become helpful :) That it doesn't cost as much as people say to raise a child. That teenagers are a blessing and a lot of fun! What if?

I was talking to a lady the other day who did something permanent to prevent having more children over 20 years ago. Do you know that she was still shedding tears over this decision? She resented giving into the pressure that was put on her by her doctor, immediately after her last baby was born, to "fix' things. She wished she could go back in time and do it all over again.

I am so thankful that God in His sovereign hand gave my husband the wisdom to say no to the Doctor when he wanted to "fix" things after our 4th child. I am so glad we waited for a year before we decided to make any permanent decisions. I can't even imagine what our life would be like today without the next 8 blessings that God entrusted to us. I know I would not be the person I am today. I know I would not have learned the many things that God has taught me through our children. And above all....I KNOW that I would have been one of those ones who regretted that decision.

Talking to yet another lady full of regret has made me sure......

I will talk about it, I will share my opinion, I will tell the stories others have told me of their regret.

I WILL!

And if they don't like what I say...I will apologize and move on.....knowing that I didn't let things go unsaid....because I have seen enough "lingering tears" to last me a lifetime!

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: 

and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; 

so are children of the youth.

Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them. 

Psalm 127: 3-5a

Is There Fruit?

This weekend we attended a conference called “Higher Calling.” I loved the name….what a wonderful thing to focus on….going higher and deeper with God. There were many times this weekend I was challenged in my walk with God. I love to be challenged. I don’t ever want to get to the point where I am to proud or lazy to realize that there are things in my life that God wants and needs to change.

But at the same time I don’t want to be convicted by a message, make commitments to God to change and then walk away and go back to the same way I was before the meeting.

In my walk as a Christian I have come to realize that commitments to God are a very serious thing. It is so easy for me to go to conferences, camp meetings, church, etc. feel inspired and convicted, to repent, to commit to do better, and then go back into the “real world” and slowly (or quickly) lose everything that God taught me. When I make a commitment to God I want to be sure that I am going to keep it. Not only is it harmful for me when I go back on my commitment to God, but it also hurts my relationship with Him.

Have any of you as a daughter/sons been promised something from your parents and they never followed through with it? Did that strengthen your relationship with them? Or did it hurt it? When as I child I would be promised things and sometimes they wouldn‘t come through. With every promise I got a little more sceptical until I finally got to a point of saying, “Ya right, I will believe it when I see it!“ Can you imagine if God felt this way about us? Are you characterized by making promises to God then leave the encouragement/excitement of a meeting only to go home, face reality and after a few days, weeks or months forget all about the commitment you made and go back to the way things were? I know I have. My heart breaks when I think about how God feels when I do this. How it must break His heart!

The other day I was reading a parenting article and they were talking about how important it is to keep your promises to your children. They said that if you would sit down and ask your child if there was a time that you promised something and didn’t follow through that they would not only be able to tell you what the promise was, but every detail around it. This is why as parents we have been very careful about the promises we have made to each other and to our children. I could probably count on one hand the times that I have made a promise to my family. It is a concept we take very seriously and we train our children to do the same. We only make promises if we know, that we know, that we know that we are going to keep them. We believe a promise/commitment is a serious thing to God, and so it should also be a very serious thing to us.

So what do promises and commitments to God produce? They produce fruit. Let’s say I hear a great sermon on joy and choosing like Paul to “be content in whatever state I am” and I make a commitment to God that I am going to choose to be content in my circumstances. Then I go back to my everyday life at home and a few days later I find myself whining to everyone about how crummy I have things, and how bad it is, etc……..what good did that commitment do? Now I am not saying that I will not make mistakes. I am saying that I better be crying out to God for forgiveness when I mess up. And over time I better be able to say that I are making progress in this area.

Our commitments are more than just words to God, they are something that need to be taken seriously and should produce fruit. If your parent made you a promise and then the day the promise was to be fulfilled they came to you and said, “Will you please forgive me, I know that I made a promise to you but I made a mistake in my scheduling and have something that I cannot get out of. Would I be able to make it up to you next week?” Now if this is something your parent has done only once or twice, you would probably believe them and trust their word. I know I would. If I know someone is making an effort to change, it is easier to forgive them. But if that same parent over time has done this again and again, promised, apologized, not followed through…..promised, apologized, not followed through…..it would be very hard to believe that they are serious about their love and their relationship with you. I believe it is the same way with God. He wants to see effort and progress in our lives….in our promises/commitments to Him. He wants our commitments to be real, not just words.

So even though I had a great time at the conference this weekend, the true test of how good it was for me will be if I am, in the next days, weeks, months and years, still living the things I learned and committed to God. Will I be bearing good fruit in this area of my life. Will others see a change in me? And most importantly will God believe that I meant what I committed to Him? And will He be able to trust that I am telling Him the truth the next time I make a commitment to Him? I hope this will be the case, with the help and grace of God, I pray this will be the case.

Teaching Our Children to Pray

Over the years of having children I have been often blown away by their childlike faith.
We have taught our children to pray from and early age. And I have never grown tired of hearing them pray.

Yesterday, the tractor we were seeding with, broke down. We were eating lunch when we heard Mark tell Josh on the 2 way radio that he was driving along and the tractor just stopped.

This year has been a real struggle getting the seed into the ground. We have had lots and lots of rain with few sunny days in between. The ground is saturated making it very hard to seed.

But yesterday we were seeing the end. If everything went well we knew we could get done. This was HUGE because they were calling for a bunch of rain again today (and it's raining as I type :) So the push was on!

When I heard Mark tell Josh about the tractor my immediate reaction was to pray...silently. But then I looked around at all of our children sitting there and decided to ask them to agree with me in prayer. I explained the situation to them, told them Daddy didn't know what was wrong with the tractor and that we needed to pray that he would have the wisdom and strength to deal with this situation. That the tractor would get fixed quickly. But most of all we needed to pray that God's will would be done. We knew He had a purpose for this.We went around the circle and each child prayed. Most of them prayed a simple prayer like, "Lord please help the tractor to start again so we can get seeding done."

Meanwhile in the field, Mark had called the mechanic, who said he would be there in 20 minutes. A little while later we heard Mark tell Josh that the tractor was running again!!!! We were excited and praising God for answered prayer!

A little while later I had to go out to the field to bring Mark seed and he told me what the problem had been. He said that guy looked at the wiring and was trying to figure out why there was no power coming. And then as he was looking through the wiring diagrams "it came to him" what the problem was.  And he happened to have the part we needed in the truck. So within a few minutes the tractor was fixed and Mark was seeding again!

Now I believe that God helped the mechanic "remember" and I don't believe it was coincidental that he had the right part in the truck. I believe God used this situation to teach our kids (and me :) the importance of prayer in our every day life.

When I came back home I found the kids and one by one (some two by two) told them how God had answered our prayers.

Our kid's faith was strengthened yesterday. They were assured that God does hear and answer prayer. They know that God doesn't always answer our prayers right away....sometimes He asks us to wait patiently. But yesterday He chose to answer right away.

At supper we all thanked God for His mercy and for answered prayer.

We need to teach our children to pray. We need to teach them that God is interested in every area of our life. That He is always there to hear us. And when He answers prayer we need to teach them how important it is to thank God for answered prayer. We also need to teach Him that God doesn't always answer prayer in the timing or way that we might want or expect. But He does always answer prayer.

Because we live in a society where we can usually fix things on our own it's too easy to turn to man instead of God. Years ago, God worked on my heart. He taught me that my first response should be prayer when I had a need. If one of the kids were sick, instead of reaching for the tylenol bottle, or taking them to the Dr. I was to first pray for them. If we had a need, that my first response would be to pray instead of go out and try to buy it.

In the last little while I have gotten lazy. Too many times I have turned to man's way of fixing things instead of God's. But Sunday, in church, I got a "refresher course" as God once again was calling me back to Him, to His way of doing things! He is my Healer, He is my Provider, He is my God!!!

I want to encourage you today, if you have an ailment, problem or a need, take it to the Lord. Seek Him first. And if you have children, ask them to pray with you. A child's faith is so real and refreshing.

Let's teach our children to pray.

And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it. John 14:13-14

And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:3-4

But Jesus called them [unto him], and said,

Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not:

for of such is the kingdom of God. Luke 18:16

For where two or three are gathered together in my name,

there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20

Just Keepin It Real

This has been a phrase that I have read a lot on blogs or facebook over the past few years.
Basically this is how it goes....."COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN......I'm just keepin it real!!!"
I have thought this whole phrase through and figured out why it kind of bugs me.

I'm all for keepin it real. One of the things people assume about me being a mom of many is that I am this kind of "super mom"! Well the fact of the matter is I am just a regular person.....I just happen to be a mom of many. I am real, I am human, I have struggles, I have heartaches, I have pain.....I am real! Sometimes people make the comment after I do a post about my shortcomings that it was nice for them to hear I have struggles too...that I am real. Really, pinch me, I am real!!!!

But I am not for being a complainer in the name of "keepin it real". I think that is just an excuse to get pity from others.

Let me explain. A mom complains about her children misbehaving all day and that she is totally wasted, plus she has a bunch of cleaning left to do.....etc. I want to ask you....what good did that do her, or her readers? Personally I know that if I start to focus on my less than perfect circumstances rather than focus on the ONE who helps me to rise above my circumstances....I start to wallow in self-pity.

Self-pity is an ugly beast that will rob me of my joy. Let's take yesterday for example. Something happened that really ticked me off!!! And for a few minutes I let the beast of self-pity overtake me. And for those few minutes I was miserable, and miserable to be around. And it was then I knew that I had a choice to make. "let it go" or "fume my way through my day." I chose to let it go, and do you know what happened? The self-pity left and I had joy again. My cirucumstance had not changed, but my attitude toward it had! Now what if I had come to write on the blog, say how miserable I was, explain the whole situation....complain a little...or a lot!!!! Would I have experienced the joy that I felt when I chose to let it go? I know for a fact that I would not have.

Now some of you may be saying...."Well how do I get the body of Christ to pray for me if I don't let them know I am having trouble?" I believe that you can ask someone to pray for you without complaining. For my situation yesterday I could have said something like, "I am struggling with a bad attitude. Could you please pray for me?" No victim mentality there, no pleas for pity, no putting other people down....just "keepin it real!"

I have real troubles with people who bash their husbands, wives, parents, children, jobs, friends.....even themselves all in the name of "keepin it real". To me this is not keeping it real....this is asking others to feel sorry for you.

Nowhere in scripture do I see that God gives us the go ahead to complain. In fact I see quite the opposite. "In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Do everything without complaining and arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God." Ephesians 4:29
I don't want to be a fake on my blog. I want to be real in the way that people can see I have struggles and hardships too. But it doesn't do me or anyone else good if I sit here and whine and complain about my circumstances, my relationship, or my life in general. All that really does is make me feel more miserable and maybe get a little pity from others. I choose not to go there. So for the record....no, my life is not perfect. Yes, I have struggles...every day actually!!! Who can live in a house with 12 other people and not have struggles? But if I don't have anything that will lift you up and encourage you in your walk with God...I won't be saying it. It doesn't do me or anyone else any good to complain. It's like I tell my kids....it's just spreading the poison.

So next time you want to say, "Just keepin it real" stop and think about your motives :)

One of my Least Favorite Things.....

I am not typically a procrastinator, but there is one thing in parenting that I always procrastinate on. Well except with our first child that is. Nope, with him I enthusiastically dove in. Only to realize a little while later that I had no idea what I was getting into. Or how frustrated and impatient I would get.

This is a topic that people think I should be an expert on. And I get asked many times for advice on how to successfully accomplish this task. Sure I have learned a few tricks over the years, but an expert I am definitely NOT!

Everytime we have a child that is getting on in age....well around 2 anyway! I recognize the need to train this child to do his/her job on the potty. POTTY TRAINING....uggghhhh, just saying it makes me quiver :)

So anyway, that is the stage we are at now with Josiah. I am trying to go into it with a good attitude. I am hopeful that he will be one of those children who catch on easy, hate messing his pants, and will be potty trained in a record time. But I know just as well, that he may take awhile to catch on, that messing in his pants won't phase him one bit, and that it might indeed make records, but not the kind I want!

But I guess I have learned a few tricks over my last years of potty training and I thought I might share a few with you. Cause chances are, if you have kids and they aren't potty trained, that it will be happening sometime in the future. Like I said, I am far from an expert, but I have learned a thing or two after potty training 10 children!!!!!!

1. While potty training your child, ALWAYS wear a hat. That way when you feel like pulling your hair out...you CAN'T!!!

2. If the potty trainee is a boy, one of those little guard thingys on the potty is a must or you might end up with a puddle.

3. Talking about puddles, wear shoes or bare feet at all times. Socks are not recommended....cause they might end up a little soggy.

4. If your a busy mom, like we all are, a timer will be a neccessity because a couple of hours seem only like a few minutes....and believe me, tiny bladders explode after  a couple of hours.

5. Cover all non waterproof sitting places. Even if you have never seem your child sit on "that" nonwaterproof chair before in his/her little life, you can be sure that is where he/she will be sitting when he/she has an accident! Trust me, I know......Why else do you think that we have mostly leather furniture? :)

6. Don't feed your child an abundance of raisins, peas or prunes while potty training......the less runny it is .....the better.

7. Being physically fit is a asset.....wear clothes that are easy to sprint in.....cause when the little trainee's face starts to turn red, you will have to leap over chairs, toys and small buildings to get your child to the potty in time!

8. Many books, and lots of siblings around to read them are helpful.

9. Smarties or M&M's are the best incentive. They are small and don't have much sugar, but are yummy enough to keep them coming back for more. And make sure you have extra on hand because chocolate is good for stress!

10. Rubber gloves are not necessary, but nice!

11. If all is quiet with little trainee and he/she is nowhere to be found....WORRY!

12. Lots of yelling, cheering and celebrating are a must and high fives all around (could take awhile in a large family!)

10. When your child is fully potty trained you will feel a great sense of accomplishment and realize that   all the consistency, patience and perseverance was well worth it! And be encouraged that, unlike most of the other training, this should only have to be done once in your child's life :)

I know there are other potty trainers out there. 

What advice do you have about potty training?

All in the Family


I know I have talked before about children helping out in the home...but a question that someone asked me recently sparked another blog post :)

We teach our children from very young to help out around our home. Why? Because they live here! And because our job as parents is to equip our children for whatever the future may hold for them.

We start chores from the time that our children can follow through on simple instructions. For a toddler it would be to help pick up the toys. When they get a little older their next chore is usually to help set or clean off the dining room table. As they get older it might be sweeping the floor, washing a vehicle, or dusting.

Not only do chores use up some of our children's energy, it also give them a sense of purpose and belonging in our family. When they help out around our home they feel a sense of accomplishment. When they contribute to our family's chores they learn that there is more to life than just playing.

One motto around here is "Work before play." Another one is "If you don't work, you don't eat!" We teach our children that work is a necessary part of life. Nothing gets done if someone doesn't do it! We feel it is very harmful to your child to hand everything to him on a golden platter and not make him work for anything. That usually makes for an ungrateful child who thinks that the world owes him everything. We don't want our children to have this mindset.

Do our children ever have a bad attitude about working? Oh yes!!!! Some of our children can be very outspoken and have huge negative body language when asked to do their jobs, while others can be more inwardly defiant. Both attitudes need to be watched and dealt with. What do we do about bad attitudes while working? We have taught all of our children scriptures about work and will remind them what God says in His word about this important topic. And we hand out consequences for bad attitudes towards work. Often the consequence is......more work. I will tell the one with a bad attitude, "By the attitude you had while doing that job you showed me that you need practice on working with a good attitude. So now I am going to give you another job to do. And if you don't have a good attitude while doing that job, I will keep giving you jobs until your attitude improves." It doesn't usually take more than 1 or 2 jobs before they are "all practiced up"!!!

In teaching your children to work hard and with a good attitude you are not only benefitting yourself, but you are benefitting (Lord willing) a future wife, husband or employer of your child. I will often tell my children that if I do not correct their bad attitudes and work habits, then I have failed to train them to be a good spouse or employee someday. Now that's a goal to work towards :-)

One of These Days

Do you ever have one of these days.....

One of these days that everywhere you turn there's stuff to be done.
And you look around and realize that there is no human way that you could get it all done today.

One of these days that everytime you look up, someone else wants your attention.
And you are followed around with appeals of praise, pity, justice, knowledge, wisdom, and help.
(Even as I am writing this I have been interrupted by 5 different ones requesting my attention)

It's on one of these days that my head spins (literally) and I wonder how, when and if I will have the strength, physically and emotionally to get it all done and how I can possibly have enough left to be there for the ones that need me.

It's on one of these days that if I focus on the list that needs to be accomplished I could sink into the pit of the overwhelmed.

It's one of these days that if I focus on how little me time I am getting for "ME" I could sink into the pit of self-pity.

It's one of these days that if I focus on the mound of work that needs to be accomplished I might be tempted to just ignore it all and sink into the pit of laziness.

It's one of these days that I NEED to choose life for my soul. I need to let the praise of God continually be on my lips. (Ps. 341)

It's one of these days that I NEED to rely on the joy of the Lord to be my strength (Nehemiah 8:9-12)

It's one of these days that I NEED to regard others needs above my own. (Phil. 2:3)

It's one of these days that I NEED to realize that laziness gets me nowhere fast!
(Prov. 10: 4-5)

It's on one of these days that I NEED to remember that the reason I am experiencing all this is because of the blessings God has placed in my life.  And if it were not for all of them my heart would not be near as FULL!

It's one of these days that I will CHOOSE to keep on keep'n on because one day, when my children are grown and gone....

I will look back and remember the times when.....I cuddled a baby whenever I wanted, received hugs all day long, was asked for words of advice throughout the day, answered the inquisitiveness of a 3 year old, heard the giggle of a toddler, witnessed first hand the joy of learning, listened to the songs of praise on our daughter's lips, taught phonics to a 5 year old, encouraged boys to work out their problems, nursed a sick one back to health, kissed a boo boo.......

I will look back and long to re-live

"ONE OF THESE DAYS"