March 5, 2008
Chapter 15 (Part 2)
I loved the story of the lady who’s husband came home on a hot day and said he would have rathered a cold meal than the hot one she had just sweated over to make. She said she was hurt and sad, but her most compelling thought was to figure out how to prepare cold meals for her husband. Oh to be there! Instead of getting angry when my husband wants something done differently, to figure out to do it the way he wants it. This is another thing we tell our children often. If you really have your parents heart desires as your heart desires then you will look for ways to do what they ask efficiently and thoroughly. This reminds me of when I first started helping Mark with our cows. There are many times you need to chase those blessed creatures, and many times they don’t go exactly where you want them to go. It was a real character building time in our marriage every time we would chase cows. I didn’t get the ‘cow chasing gene’. I always seemed to move the wrong way, or chicken out at the last moment and let them by. This frustrated Mark to no end. It got to the point where I dreaded chasing cows because of the tension it brought between us. That is until I started to learn to ignore the way I thought cows should be chased, put aside my fears, and listen to how Mark wanted things done. Mark is an ‘all or nothing type of guy’, and when he puts his heart into doing something it’s all. That includes chasing cows. So I had to learn this way. I remember one of the first times I determined to give it my all. We were chasing in muck (the manure kind) over our ankles and when I ran forward my boots stayed behind. So I was running around in bare feet with ‘muck’ oozing up between my toes. But my heart was in it, and at that point I was more set on pleasing my husband than having clean feet. And you know what, there was no tension, and was my hubby ever proud of me! Another thing that I have been working on over the years is serving my husband after he puts in a long day. I have heard many women say that when their husbands get home from work they hand over the kids and demand to have ‘their time’. I don’t think this is fair to their husband and it shows an attitude of me-ism. If they were thinking about him, they would realize that maybe he had a hard day as well and serve him instead of demand things of him. For my husband, farming (as many jobs) can have their very high stress moments. I have learned that there are times not to bring up problems that I am having around the house (and it’s usually in the busiest season that things go wrong!). Sometimes it is a few days before he can address my problems, because he usually has way more problems than I do which hinge on our making a living. It may mean that my life will be a little more complicated but that is okay. And as I have honored him more and more in this area I have seen in his heart a desire to take care of my problems the first possible moment. I don’t think the results would be the same if I conceded to nagging about it. Instead when he comes home I try to have a snack ready and take the time to sit there and talk with him about his day. “Try to make your home a place of peace and order, where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.” This is one of the reasons why I think woman should not work outside the home. Being a wife is your career. How can you be 100% commited to serving your husband when most of your energies are spent on your job. Not that being at home with your children doesn’t take energy, but at least you have opportunities throughout the day to do things that will honor your husband and you are constantly being reminded of your #1 sweetie. If my husband can come home to a good meal, a tidy house, well mannered kids, and a wife who desires to serve him, our home will be an oasis for him, a place where he can recharge. In her letter Freida made a comment that I thought was great. “I intended my marriage to be my career for the rest of my life and I intended to be successful at it.” This is my career. This is where my heart should be. Why would I want to work anywhere else? Why would I want to be successful anywhere else? The other day at church a couple of ladies were talking about working wives/moms. One lady made a comment that caught my attention. She said her sister works in a hospital and that it is actually a break to go to work and get away from her kids. And I think that is often the case. Sometimes working outside the home can seem more glorious. People applaud your efforts. They appreciate what you do. In a home full of little ones, that is not always the case. Sometimes you can go a whole day working like crazy and not hear one thank you (without prompting). So once again it comes down to “What are woman called to do.” Titus 2: 5 pretty much says it, ‘keepers at home’. Will this always be a glamorous job? No, but I believe it can be a fulfilling job if your heart is in the right place. The question that Debi raised that I have been asking myself, “Do I have eternity in my heart?” Are the daily decisions that I make concerning my husband to benefit me for the here and now or do they reflect my willingness to be a servant and think of how today will affect me for eternity. Do I seek to honor God and obey His word in the daily moment by moment choices I make. Take time to read Titus 2:3-5.