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October 5, 2007

Created To Be His Help Meet Chpt.1

Well, chapter one of this book was a good refresher for me. I can't believe how many times I fail to be a help meet to my husband. How many times I view what he wants as insignifiicant or less important than my stuff. On the farm I have ample opportunity to be a help meet. And I will do it when asked, sometimes with the right attitude. But my goal is to be that help meet without being asked. "So that I have a readiness to please and that it would motivate me to look around and see the things I know Mark would like to see done. And not to use lame excuses to avoid these jobs." (pg 23) I struggle with this. As a mom, it is so easy to see the needs of my kids before my husband because they are so 'in my face', but my calling is to first be a help meet to my husband. then to my children, and others last. God created me to be this, I was created to be his help meet. I love those words, help meet. To be a helper, a proper, perfect, good and well equiped helper. God wants me to see the potential in my husband and do what I can to help him be more productive and efficient.(pg 23) This whole thinking goes so against the rules of society today. Look out for #1, we deserve to be equal to man. Feminism is everywhere. Look for it next time you watch a movie or are around people. Even 'family' movies are full of it. It's sad, because so many couples are functioning contrary to God's design. It amazes me how even in the church feminism creeps in. So subtle yet so there. Yet God's perfect will is that women are help meets for their husbands. And how important it is to teach our young unmarried ladies this as well. When I got married I had never even thought of this concept. A lot of it was common sense to me, but I messed up in so many areas, and it took me years to get back on track, and I am still reaping some of the consequenses of my decisions. But if someone had mentored me to be a godly wife, a help meet to my husband, and told me that marriage is about serving my husband, I would have had a much different perspective. So if you have daughters, teach this to them. You know they are watching you, you know they are learning from the things you say and do. I grieve after I have a moment of being 'less than a help meet' to my husband and I realize my girls were right there, taking everything in, 'learning from me'. So, if you're like me and you know that there is room for improvement, start today. Think of ways you can be a help meet to your husband. (pg 25) So those are my thoughts. I will see you on the commments page to hear yours!


Stacey said...

I think so often I find myself thinking of how I can help others, and then my husband and children suffer while I make sure everyone else is happy.

I agree that it is so important to teach young unmarried ladies about serving and being a help meet to their husbands. I've only been married four years, and I sure wish I would have learned this before. It's hard to change your way of thinking even if it was only a short time. Premarital counselling consisted more of making sure we understood eachother than learning how to be a help meet to my husband.

One thing that I'm going to try to do (this is a tough one for me!) is to get up with Keith every morning and get his lunch ready for work. I know it sounds like a little thing, and something that probably most women do, but I've gotten used to staying in bed, waiting for the kids to wake me up. I used to be up with Keith every morning before we had kids. It was so nice to eat breakfast together and actually see each other before supper time!

I think I will make that my goal for the next week.

The Pauls' said...

Thanks Stacey,
It's the little things that sometimes matter the most. Just to show you care! That together alone time is important too.

A good book for young ladies to go through is called "So Much More" It talks about how we can learn submission and respect for leadership right in our own homes with our fathers. Jennifer has read it through and Megan and Kerri will read it soon. When I read through it I wondered had read this as a girl if would have had a head start on this help meet mindset that is so important in marriage. I would strongly recommend this to all who have daughters or neices or friends in the teen years. It was a great encouragement here.

I hope your week goes well as you learn to be a better help meet!

Denyse said...

I was really encouraged by this chapter because it not only made me see that I am a gift to my husband as his help meet, but also that the Lord equips and qualifies me to fulfill that role. Too often my sinful nature entices me to be independent of him (my husband), but what I have learnt over the years and have found so much life and comfort and safety in is allowing myself to become dependent on my husband. It feels very safe in that place.

I am saddened when I hear other women struggling with "finding themselves" in this world. Feeling like they have no purpose. As if once we have no career or job any more, and are only wifes and mothers that we are no longer important. The roles of wife and mother are the most important ones we will ever have; the ones that impact both this life and eternity. This is a high calling.
Once we as women give ourselves over to what God has ordained us for as a wife and mother, that's when we will know and be secure in who we are.

I know there are still many, many ways in which I can better meet my husbands needs and I will continue to work on those things. Like Rosalie said, it's so easy to get caught up in meeting your children's needs that we forget our husbands.

The Pauls' said...

I remember very vividly one year when I had a choice, to follow Mark's lead or push my way. We had an opportunity to rent some extra hay land. Until this point we always had lots of hay and doing this seemed crazy to me, especially since the field was so far away and would be kind of a pain to harvest. But as I was learning, I prayed that Mark would make the right decision, and gave my opinion when asked, but stood back and let him make the final decision with no pressure. Well he decided to go for it and make the hay, I still felt it didn't make sense, but kept my mouth quiet. Well it turned out we got the hay made and guess what, that year we were not able to get all of our hay off around home, and we would have been quite short had it not been for the extra hay. It was a good lesson to me to follow my husband's lead. After I have given my opinion (when asked) I believe it is important for me as a wife to pray that God's perfect will be done and leave it in His hands. Over and over I have seen this work in our household. But like you said Denyse, that sinful nature pulls so strong to draw us away from what our roles really are. But it is safe there.

I too am saddened when I see the discontent of wives and mothers. Many have bought into the lie that you have to do something other than be a wife and mother to be a somebody. That is so far from the truth. Like you said Denyse-wives and mothers have a high calling.

Dianna said...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!We have a lot to be thankful for, don't we? Hope you're having a wonderful time with family.

Dianna said...

I will be joining in on the discussion sometime next week I haven't forgotten. It's been awfully hectic in my household this time of year. I was gone to Fargo/ Grandforks for 3 days just got back this evening need to unwind I'm also cooking for 75 people for the rest of this week and next week I'll be baking for that same amount of people then I MIGHT just be out to Fargo/Grandforks again for a couple days will see when the time gets nearer how I will feel. But I promise I'll be back and join in. Looking forward to it.