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February 19, 2008

Chapter 13

“This is a great mystery; but I speak concerning Christ and the church….and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” (Eph. 5:32-33) REVERENCE: to revere, to be in awe; fear mingled with respect & esteem. As I continue on this journey, daily I am becoming more and more aware of how I thought I reverenced my husband most of the time, but really I don’t. Not when I look at this definition. My marriage to my husband prepares me for my marriage to Christ. I like how Debi made the statement that I am sure most of us would think, 'But it would be easy to be married to Christ!' Then she names some of the things that God required of people in the Bible. Abraham and Isaac, Sapphira. Right…. maybe not so easy, unless your heart is 100% committed and submissive. The story of Abraham and Isaac is my favorite story in the Bible. The way Abraham was so absolutely obedient to God touches me time and time again. How Abraham, even though he didn’t understand, was willing to do what God asked him to do, and he did it quickly. The Bible says that he woke up early. This always struck me. He didn’t procrastinate, try to reason with God, drag his heals, but rather he got up early and went to do the task that God commanded him to do. We can only imagine what Abraham was thinking on that journey since the Bible doesn’t say. Was he so 100% trusting of God that there were no questions? Did he know in his heart that God knew what was best and was willing to follow what he said no matter what the cost to him? Even his son who he had waited so long for? And then what God said to Abraham after he stopped him from sacrificing Isaac brings me to tears every time. “Now I know that you fear God.” I have read this story many, many times, but never have I thought of it in the light of today. Am I submissive to my husband as Abraham was to God. Can my husband say to me, “Now I know that you fear God”? I had determined years ago, after watching other wives complain about their husbands behind their back, that I would never do this to my husband. I would not complain about him to anyone, not even my family, closest friends or church leader. This is one of the best decisions I have made in my relationship with my husband. In complaining to others I would only put my husband down and stir up discontent in my heart. I have heard people complain of their husband in the name of ‘prayer’. “Please pray for my husband, he is struggling with so and so”. I have one thing to say….hmmmm. Is this really the motive? If my husband has an issue that I think needs prayer, then I pray! I once read a testimony of a mother who said something like this to her daughter before her wedding day, “When you are married I will be there for advice on cooking, sewing, and the womanly things of running a household, but don’t you ever come to me and complain about your husband. If you do I will promptly send you back to him.” I have since told my daughters this same thing. I think it is great advice. The story of the ‘Queen for a Day’ was especially meaningful to me as I have been thinking a lot about my witness to my children in the way I treat my husband. They are watching every move I make. My girls are learning from me how to treat their heavenly Father, their earthly father and Lord willing someday their own husband. Our boys are learning from me how to honor and respect their dad. I am glad today is a new day, because many days I fail miserably as a godly example. Even though I cannot erase those things in which I have failed, I can start again today. I want my children to be able to honor their dad in the way that I honor him. I have felt the eyes of my children when my husband does something that they think is unfair. They look at me, for my reaction. I am learning to support him, even thought it’s not always ‘MY WAY’! They are watching:) I could go on and on here, but I won’t. There are so many other things in this chapter. Words, how comfortable am I making our home, responding to my husband with scorn or ridicule…….. Tell me a bit about how your ‘help meet’ journey is going. Even if you are not doing the study with us, leave a comment.


Dianna said...

What especially shocked me was the submissive way the bride handled her Arab husband towards the end. I think humbly speaking I would've turned to other measures. It did leave me with a few questions I was wondering if Debi encourages women to stay in abusive relationships for a certain amount of time. It does say in the Bible that you can separate from your husband if it he 's hindering you in your walk. I never saw her mention that and was wondering if she might leave too much of an impression on readers that they should stick it out living in an abusive relationship. Believe me I'm not trying to find fault in that book. I just struggled a bit with this chapter. I found this to be too... I don't know harsh might be the word.. Do you know what I mean? Can you agree to a certain extent or no? I'm just being honest here.

The Pauls' said...

Thanks for your comment Dianna. I will try to respond in the next couple of days :)

The Pauls' said...

I guess when I read your comments what came to mind was a few verses that our family has been memorizing. Matt. 5: 38-48. I think this is God’s standards, quite different that what my flesh wants to hear or think about.
I have never been in the position that this lady was, and I only hope that I would react as she did. God obviously worked through her and her honor for her husband. What if she had chosen not to honor her husband? We would not have had this beautiful testimony. I don’t see this as an encouragement to stay in abuse, but rather an encouragement of how God can change hearts when we are obedient to Him and His Word.
I also wondered where you find the verse where it is okay to leave your husband if he is hindering you in your walk.
I wish we could talk face to face about this, there is so much to discuss, but I hope this will suffice for now:)

Mrs.Mike said...

I liked all that you said here. I too wonder where the verse is that says you may leave if they hinder you in your walk.