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January 13, 2008

Created to be His Help Meet Chpt. 8 & 9

I combined this week’s study with last weeks because chapter 8 was pretty much each person to themselves. I appreciated this chapter because it did help me understand my husband a little better and why he is the way he is.

The reason I like this book is because every week it reminds me of my role as a wife. It is so easy to loose focus, to become something other than my husbands helpmeet. I hope there is a time soon that this will become part of my heart and that I can serve joyfully with out the constant struggle of my flesh. But right now I confess that I still struggle on a daily basis to be a helpmeet, an extension of my husband.

This weeks lesson reminded me once again of the many mistakes I have made as a wife. My husband is primarily a steady and I know I have crushed or belittled his ideas and dreams too many times and he has shut down in those areas. Thank God for His grace and for my husbands forgiveness, but I know that I still am reaping the consequences for my actions. Those things don’t just get rebuilt overnight. It takes time and I think sometimes some things are never restored.

Here are some of my favourite principles of this chapter.

First of all I love the title of the chapter “Finding Your Life In His”
As I thought about this, I thought of how marriage is a picture of the church and how we know that as the bride of Christ we are to find our life in Christ’s. It is the same for me as a wife to my husband, I am to find my life in his. Not my dreams, ambitions, goals….but his. And in this I will find true joy.

pg. 95
“Because of his wife’s controlling hand and his desire to ‘do his duty’ and please her, he had failed to live his dreams.” I guess this really got me, because I know that many times my ‘controlling hand’ I have caused my husband to try to please me and therefore he has not lived out the God given dream that has been placed in him. Even though my husband is a steady, he does have dreams, and I think sometimes they take me by surprise and often my first reaction is to make him know how unrealistic or silly those dreams are. When in fact I should be there to encourage his dreams and let God take care of the rest.

Pg. 97
“God is not looking for happy women to make them into help meets for men. He is looking for women willing to be true helpmeets, so he can fill them full of joy.” Joy is so much better than happiness. Joy is true, deep inner fulfillment. It is not temporary, it is lasting, it is eternal. The choice is mine, do I want the temporary fulfillment of being my own self with my own goals and ambitions, or will I choose to be a helpmeet to my husband and be filled with joy. I think I choose the latter!

As I pondered this chapter I realized again how society is so opposite of God’s plan for the wife’s role in a marriage. From the books we read, from the movies we watch, from the magazine articles we pour over, from the messages in the advertisements….the list goes on and on. I get so frustrated sometimes that no one taught me this when I was a young married wife and that I took my guidance from the world instead of God‘s Word. Where were those older women that were to teach me? But I guess my duty is not to bemoan the fact that I wasn’t taught, but instead pick up from here and ask God for wisdom to change my ways and not to be confident in the fact that I want to be my husbands helpmeet. Also to make sure that I am there to teach the younger women now, so that they will not have to wake up like me someday and realize all the times they could have been a helpmeet to their husbands and were not.

So if you are a woman reading this today the question is:
“Are you finding your life in your husbands? Are you being a blessing to him, a true friend, an encouragement, an extension of him? My prayer is that I will be that to my husband and that as I seek God for wisdom on how to do this, He will grant it to me as He promises in His word.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”
James 1:5

By the way, Friday is not turning out to be a very good day to do this study, so I am changing it to Tuesday.

1 comment:

Mrs.Mike said...

Again I have a hard time with "the choice is mine" part. We cannot choose to do anything on our own...Maybe I'm misunderstanding here??? Anything of myself(in the flesh) will only choose to please the flesh. Even in these matters...but God works in us through his word. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak comes to mind. That is why the word is so important. God uses it to bring us to repentance. We must hear the word of God and be awakened to our need. And the world today does need woman to go back to what God created them for! I enjoyed reading Debi's book too. Just don't believe that we are able to make a choice and keep it. God has shown me time and again that HE must give the strength and I've come to realize that it is usually through our mistakes that we learn.Praise the Lord that he is a merciful God. Like you; I sometimes become frustrated that I was raised in a christian home and there are so many truths in scripture that no one told me about. God does all things in his time...I did have an example of a submissive wife as a child. Just didn't learn much scripture.
I guess I'm saying God has to do it ALL.He is the one who sends forth those who preach, he's the one who sent his son to die, he's the one whom we turn to in prayer when the word opens up to us a need that we have, he's the one who answers in his time and in his will...see what I am saying here?
Please forgive me if I have misunderstood your post on this. Oh and I wanted to say that my husband is a steady man too. My sisters (I have 6,2 unmarried)all have commanders or visionaries for husbands so I sometimes feel very alone. I love my steady man. He can just be so silent sometimes...