| Home | Our Family |  

June 5, 2010

Wouldn't you like to live a life of no regrets.

A life where you look back and say.....if I had to do it all over again....I would do it the same way.

Although this is an appealing thought, it is not reality...at least for me anyway. There are things that I have done in my life that I definitely do regret.

But it's still a goal worth working towards. How about if I would start today?

I have thought of this many times, but yesterday a comment someone made to me got me to thinking again.

It was just regular chit chat. The weather....the kids....health.....helpers...and then the comment came.......

I was just getting into the truck......."You're very lucky." That was it....3 little words...but I know there was a lot more behind it than just little words. They were said in a tone that communicated remorse....remorse for what could have been, what should have been.

I got to thinking on the way home, how sad it is that we go through life.....often come to our senior years and look back on regret of some of the choices we have made.....important choices....ones that cannot be reversed. I wondered why we can't just look ahead now and see the things we might regret and choose to make a different decision. That's what I want to do.

If Mark and I could have a dollar for every time someone has said to us, "I wish we would have had more than 1, 2, 3.......children"......I think we might be able to retire and go to some exotic place and sit on the beach and drink lemonade.......all day long.....hee hee.

But seriously, I don't know how to react when I hear this from people's mouths. Do you say "I'm sorry?" What do you say? Usually we just say that we have never regretted allowing God to give us as many children as He so chooses. And that each one is a special blessing in our family's life.

But how sad.....how sad to look back and regret your decision. The decision of the number of children they should have...and then one day realizing that they wish they would have had more. The decision of working so much that they never really had any time to spend with their children. The decision to send their children to daycare so that they could make more money, than to spend each and every day with their child. That maybe it was the wrong decision?

Why are we people that are so short sighted? When we are in the midst of babies, diapers, sleepless nights, endless training......why do we not see and understand that this will not be forever?

Why do we not look ahead 10, 15, 20, 25 years and see how our life will be different then? That we will long to hear the pitter patter of little feet, feel the kiss of a toddler, hear that constant chatter around the kitchen table and it would be music to our ears......why are we so short sighted?

It is very rare to talk to a senior (although it has happened) and hear them say, "I am so glad that we have the house to ourselves and that our children rarely come home." or "I am so glad that I spent all that time working when my children were at home and I hardly saw them, because now I have a big house and can go on vacations." Those aren't the words I hear anyway....usually they are words of regret...I wish....

I want to be long sighted. I want to look ahead to the days when my children are not little anymore and how different life will be. And on the days that seem to go on forever and I am tired, physically and mentally, I want to recognize that this is a stage in my life that I will not have the privelage of being in forever. I want to cuddle those who want to be cuddled, talk with those who want to talk, I want to marvel at the wonder of a little life kicking and growing inside of my, tickle a baby and lavish their belly laugh, smile at the boyish energy that little boys have, appreciate the middle of the night cuddles with my newborn when it's just the two of us......I do not want to have regrets.

I do not want to look back and see that I refused the blessings that God had for me through our children. I want to have eyes to see the little things that make up my day as blessings instead of inconveniences. I want to have the fruits of the Spirit evident in my everyday walk.

Why? Because.....I do not want to have any regrets.......I do not want to wake up one day and say, "Why did I waste all that time on useless things that really didn't matter.....Why did I think I was wise enough to make the decision of how many children I should allow God to bless me with.....Why did I put the desires of my flesh above what God wanted for my life...Why?

I want to be long sighted. I want to look back one day and know that I didn't let my short sightedness take away blessings in my life. I want to look back from today and say with all my heart "I HAVE NO REGRETS."

How about you?

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,

making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Ephesians 5 :15-16


Stam House said...

wow what a great post! Love it!
thanks for sharing!!!

Rebecca Pauls said...

Thank you for your thoughts Mom! You are a wonderful example to me/us, and we love you and Dad a lot. May God bless you for the example that you are to so many people.
Love your kids

Cinnamon said...

That is so true. I hear those same things from elderly people. What an encouragement to me to live today doing what God has called me to do and be who God wants me to be.

Thank you for sharing~ Cinnamon

Amy said...

THANK YOU for this reminder!!!

Coreen Berube said...

Thanks for your thoughts on this subject - been thinking a lot about this lately as our best friends - he was just diagnosed with cancer - not sure how long he has.....wanna make the most of the days I have. Every breath is a gift.

Kaitlin W. said...

Thought-provoking post! I love that you desire to enjoy the most beautiful and best in your life, the companionship and little wonders. Sometimes a so-called unproductive day can be filled with love because we took the time to have a chat with someone who was lonely.

My parents are happy with their decision to have the three of us. I once asked them if they'd have liked to have any more, and they said they'd thought about it, but realized we were the perfect amount! I know some couples who find one child just right for them. Oh, and lots who love more! ;)

Of course, my parents made a few mistakes in raising us. But they're heroes to me, not because they hurt me, but because of what they did to make it right. The way they continue to grow as they follow Jesus inspires me.

I guess that's what I hope I don't regret. I hope I don't leave our loving God out of my life. I hope I don't make mistakes without going to him to help me through them. Because I'm gonna make mistakes. Haha.

I regret some of my choices thus far, but because God has helped me, they've become something more than regrets. Know what I mean? They become lessons, experiences that make me wiser, or remind me all I have of life now is now but that I may make to a ripe old age, and that love is more important than anything else...Regrets can change into these things with God's influence. And sometimes forgiveness is for more than other people. Sometimes I have to forgive myself for my bad choices, because that's what Jesus does, eh? Gosh it's hard, though...Harder than forgiving others.

Haha. Lots of thoughts. Thanks for provoking them. :)