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June 2, 2011

Just Keepin It Real

This has been a phrase that I have read a lot on blogs or facebook over the past few years.
Basically this is how it goes....."COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN......I'm just keepin it real!!!"
I have thought this whole phrase through and figured out why it kind of bugs me.

I'm all for keepin it real. One of the things people assume about me being a mom of many is that I am this kind of "super mom"! Well the fact of the matter is I am just a regular person.....I just happen to be a mom of many. I am real, I am human, I have struggles, I have heartaches, I have pain.....I am real! Sometimes people make the comment after I do a post about my shortcomings that it was nice for them to hear I have struggles too...that I am real. Really, pinch me, I am real!!!!

But I am not for being a complainer in the name of "keepin it real". I think that is just an excuse to get pity from others.

Let me explain. A mom complains about her children misbehaving all day and that she is totally wasted, plus she has a bunch of cleaning left to do.....etc. I want to ask you....what good did that do her, or her readers? Personally I know that if I start to focus on my less than perfect circumstances rather than focus on the ONE who helps me to rise above my circumstances....I start to wallow in self-pity.

Self-pity is an ugly beast that will rob me of my joy. Let's take yesterday for example. Something happened that really ticked me off!!! And for a few minutes I let the beast of self-pity overtake me. And for those few minutes I was miserable, and miserable to be around. And it was then I knew that I had a choice to make. "let it go" or "fume my way through my day." I chose to let it go, and do you know what happened? The self-pity left and I had joy again. My cirucumstance had not changed, but my attitude toward it had! Now what if I had come to write on the blog, say how miserable I was, explain the whole situation....complain a little...or a lot!!!! Would I have experienced the joy that I felt when I chose to let it go? I know for a fact that I would not have.

Now some of you may be saying...."Well how do I get the body of Christ to pray for me if I don't let them know I am having trouble?" I believe that you can ask someone to pray for you without complaining. For my situation yesterday I could have said something like, "I am struggling with a bad attitude. Could you please pray for me?" No victim mentality there, no pleas for pity, no putting other people down....just "keepin it real!"

I have real troubles with people who bash their husbands, wives, parents, children, jobs, friends.....even themselves all in the name of "keepin it real". To me this is not keeping it real....this is asking others to feel sorry for you.

Nowhere in scripture do I see that God gives us the go ahead to complain. In fact I see quite the opposite. "In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Do everything without complaining and arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God." Ephesians 4:29
I don't want to be a fake on my blog. I want to be real in the way that people can see I have struggles and hardships too. But it doesn't do me or anyone else good if I sit here and whine and complain about my circumstances, my relationship, or my life in general. All that really does is make me feel more miserable and maybe get a little pity from others. I choose not to go there. So for the record....no, my life is not perfect. Yes, I have struggles...every day actually!!! Who can live in a house with 12 other people and not have struggles? But if I don't have anything that will lift you up and encourage you in your walk with God...I won't be saying it. It doesn't do me or anyone else any good to complain. It's like I tell my kids....it's just spreading the poison.

So next time you want to say, "Just keepin it real" stop and think about your motives :)


Clarissa said...


J J J Girls said...

I totally agree! A good encouraging word and well put!I love to help people think this way also. Its hard for some, to change; when they lived that way their whole life and don't "really" want to get closer to God and give it all. Can I use your words to encourage my friends here? We appreciate your family and hope to see you soon! Blessings Sherri

2 Moms of a Feather...Stick Together said...

Thanks...we all need to be reminded.
Praying for you & your family.
Nancy aka Mommy 2

The Pauls' Family said...

Thanks ladies. I agree, we all need to be reminded of this :)

Sure Sherri, if it can help someone...I would love if you would share this with them. See you soon!!! Rosalie

Mrs. Stam said...

Amen!!! The scripture do talk about "learning to be content whatever the circumstances" and "I" think one step to the learning process is learning not to complain about everything, learning to not compare you lot, learning to be thankful for what we have and not what we 'should' have etc...

thank you for taking time to write your words of wisdom!

Hollinger Family said...

*hee* I actually use that phrase much; and I completely agree w/ your concept... I share in a real way, but not in a complaining way. Yes, my sink is full of dishes, but how lucky was I to be able to play outside with the kids today~ that's my kind of 'keeping it real' ;^)
Blessings, Sheri

Kelli Z. said...