Marriage Series (part 2)

So to continue our series I wanted to talk about spending time with your spouse. You may be saying "well ya, obviously!" But even though we know in our heads that this is a very important thing to actually do...sometimes it's much easier said than done!

Relationship in marriage does not just happen...it needs to be cultivated and nurtured. Too many couples make the mistake of thinking that once they get married they will be with each other daily and the marriage bond will just happen. This may be true in the first few years, but after awhile it's not so easy. People and things start to take more and more of our time away from each other. It may be a job, ministry, friends or even our own children that causes this to happen. They may all be "good" things....but too many times they/it can steal our time. And often it happens so slowly that we barely recognize it!

What does it mean to make your marriage a priority? Well, just that. Making your spouse the most important part of your day. Giving your spouse the best of you, not the leftovers.

I can hear all the young moms saying, "I can barely get the food on the table, keep the house clean or get the laundry done. And now you want to add another thing on my plate? I am telling you this from someone who has been there. I have had many little ones and no big help. I have been up countless numbers of times in the night with a newborn. I have had the overwhelming feelings that I was never going to get all the work done that I needed to. But I can also tell you something else...... I have never, ever regretted the time that I have invested into our marriage. In fact, I wish I had done it more.

We have seen many couples who have poured all of their time and energies into their children in their growing up years and then one day their children leave the home and what are they left with...two people who barely know each other. Why? Because all of their time was spent investing in others while ignoring the relationship that started it all! Please don't let this be what happens to you.

This doesn't have to be something complicated, or take a lot of money. It can be just the simple little things that will make a huge difference. The most important thing it takes a change of mindset. It takes you asking the question every day, "Who is the most important person in my life?" It takes evaluating at the end of the day, "Who did I invest the most of my time/energy in?" It takes a heart of truly wanting your marriage to be the best that it can be and the willingness to take the effort to make it so.

Mark and I love to be on dates together. We find this a great time where we can focus on each other without having to wipe a child's nose, bring one to the bathroom, or answer the 'oh so urgent' question. It's a time where we can give each other our undivided attention. A time where we can have heart to hearts without little ears listening in. Over the years, depending on our situation, we have had many kinds of "dates"  Some have been going out somewhere, many have been combined with our weekly shopping trip, some have been overnighters and some have just been at home. Probably my most memorable dates have been the ones where we put the kids in bed and then have our own romantic candlelit supper. It takes no money, just a bit of time and planning. And wives, a word to you. It is not always the husbands job to make a date happen. As long as you are in tune with the finances and knowing your husbands schedule you can plan the date! Or you can make a special evening at home for the two of you. Don't make it his job and get all offended if he never plans anything! You can do this to!

We have led the course "Growing Kids God's Way" many times over the past 15+ years. We so appreciate that the Ezzos saw fit to teach on the importance of a strong marriage in the raising of our children. They make the point that when your marriage is strong it offers security to your children. If they know that you love each other, their little world feels so secure. They talk about going on dates and telling your children, "This is for your good!" We have said that to our children many times over the years when they have asked to come with us. We tell them, "No, we are going on a date...and it's for your good!" And they often smile from ear to ear :) This sends a message to your children that your marriage is worth investing in and that it's very important to both of you. And even though their little minds may not understand it...their hearts do. Now when our children hear that we are going on date the word spreads quickly throughout the family and you hear the children all saying to each other excitedly, "Dad and Mom are going on a date!" It really makes their heart glad! Now a word of caution here....if you have had a home where your children have been the centre of attention and you have not made your marriage a priority, you are probably going to feel some resistance from your children. There may be bouts of crying and making you feel real bad about leaving them, but remember to tell them and yourself, "This is for your good!"

But dates aren't the only way to make your marriage a priority although that is a very good tool. Think back to before you were married. When you were away from your love, who did you think about? I think most of our responses would be, "I thought about my love, ALL DAY LONG!" Do you know it can still be that way? You can purpose to think about, give notes, pray for, send texts to your love throughout the day. And when you do you are making a statement, "You are the most important person in my life. When you are gone I think about you." What about when your husband comes home. What do you do? Do you give him your time and attention. Ask him how his day was? Do you make him feel like you missed him while he was gone? Or do your kids get the upper hand with Daddy? You may have to fight your way in there to give your hubby some loving :)

I hope you are getting the picture here. It's not about "what" you do, it's not about "you have to go for a date once a week" or rules like that, it's about your heart attitude towards your marriage. It's about being intentional to making your marriage a priority. It's about not letting your everyday life take over your marriage relationship. It's about loving each other enough to make this work. Remember, it's all a matter of your heart! How much effort are you willing to put into it? How important is your marriage to you?

Little By Little

When I went to camp as a child there was a song we often sang called "Little By Little". Well this is the theme song of our spring on the farm this year!  Little by little we are getting the seed in the ground!

If you have been following our blog throughout the winter you know that we had a unusually large amount of snow. Well with the LOTS of snow we had, and the late spring, things have been quite soggy on the fields. We were very thankful to finally be able to start seeding on the 13th of May. We put in a few very long days and one all nighter (making a farm record of how many acres we seeded in a 24 hr period!) because the forecast said more rain was on the way. And sure enough we got another nice bit of rain which halted our seeding for a few more days. But thankfully, near the end of last week, we were able to get started seeding again. Basically now we are caught up to the dry ground and now have to wait for the very BIG and very SOGGY pot holes to dry. About now we could also be singing the "Have Patience" song because this morning we woke up to more rain....but that's ok...it will help our seeded crops grow :) We always welcome rain....for without rain....nothing grows!!!

Every farming year is different. Sometimes things go like clockwork...and other years....well...they don't! But we are so thankful that we serve a God who know what He is doing!!! What peace and rest to know that He is in control and that He will take care of us like He promises in His Word. I can't even imagine the amount of stress we would be feeling right now if it weren't for the fact that we serve a MIGHTY GOD! And that in our years of farming He has proven over and over again that even if things seem impossible to us in the natural.....He is way BIGGER than what seems impossible! His ways are not our ways.....and that's a GOOD thing....cause I am pretty sure we would mess things up royally!!!

So this spring has been another lesson in trust....trusting that God has a perfect plan. And finding that spot where we rest and the other spot where we go, go, go!!!! We are thankful that we are now seeing the end of our seeding season and look forward to what the rest of the summer will bring! Now maybe we can focus on getting our garden it :)

Well this was an attempt at an update. If it seems like I just wrote about seeding....that's because that is our life right now. Even when we are not seeding.....we are seeding....if you know what I mean. It is always on our minds :)

Here is a scripture verse that I have been thinking a lot about lately.

  "While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, 

and cold and heat, and summer and winter,

 and day and night shall not cease ." 

Genesis 8:22 
What a beautiful promise!!!

Loyal Heart

This morning I was reading 2 Chronicles 25:2.

"And he (Amaziah) did what was right in the sight of The Lord, but not with a loyal heart."

This verse struck me and reminded me again how important the state of our heart is to God. He doesn't just look at our actions, but he looks at our hearts.

Our pastor just finished up a sermon series on "Following Jesus". In one of the sermons he talked about following Jesus, not out of duty or habit, but out of love for Him. What a powerful truth to live by.

This is something that God has impressed on our hearts again and again over the years. We have been sure to teach this truth to our children. When we have a situation that needs discipline, and as we go through the steps of repentance, we are sure to bring in the principle that we obey God because we love Him...not out of duty, but out of devotion. If we can get this into our children's hearts....our hearts....we believe obeying God will be a joy rather than a list of do's and dont's.

As followers of Jesus it can be so easy to get caught up in all the "rules" that have been put there, whether through principles of the Bible, or man's teachings. It can be so easy to get caught up in the action rather than the actual state of our hearts. Don't get me wrong....I know there are absolutes in the Bible....laws that God has put there that we need to live by....but if we are just doing them to do "right" and our hearts are not loyal...what good is this?

Let's say you give your child and instruction like, "Please go clean the bathrooms." It doesn't take long to see what the state of their heart is like, does it? They may say "Yes Ma'am" with a smile and a spring in their step or they may say "Yes Ma'am" with a pout on their face and body language that is less than energetic! They will still clean the bathroom....they still obey you and do what is right...but which reaction makes your heart happy?

And I believe so it is with God. Our Christian walk should not be about rules and how far we can bend the rules....but rather how can we please the heart of God. How can we show our love and loyalty for Him with a spring in our step, a smile on our face and a "Yes Sir" on our lips? How can we show Him that we obey Him out of love for Him rather than just duty?

So as you live your life "for God", ask yourself, "Is my heart loyal to God or am I just going through the motions?"  I find that true joy comes when I obey God out of love for Him and a loyal heart rather than duty. Sure I can go through the motions....but what kind of child would I be? One that pleases the heart of God? I want to please Him....don't you?

                                                                                                                               

Harvest In April?

Well I meant to post about our harvest way back in September, but that just didn't happen! And since my amazing daughter-in-law gave me all these harvest photos I figured they shan't go to waste so....I will post about harvest...in April!!!! Since we still have lots of snow here and are experiencing major spring fever I thought this might be good therapy....to remind us that there is hope....nice weather WILL come!!!!

As I have mentioned before, harvest is a team effort around here. Every person from the oldest to the youngest has a special part to play. It's times like this that we are especially grateful for many hands....for they do make lighter work!

Harvest is a very busy time for us. A time where we put in long days and a few hours of sleep is a luxury. The weather largely dictates what we will be doing in a day. If it is raining, harvest is on hold, but that doesn't mean we get much of a break because this is the time that all the work that has been put off is done :) For the men this time is usually used for fixing, fixing, fixing, and for the ladies it is yard work, garden work and house work.

Here's what a typical harvest day would look like for us. Now I say that very loosely because no two harvest days are alike :)

We wake up anywhere from 5-8 depending on how late our night was and what we have to accomplish before getting to the field. An average wake up time would probably be around 6:30-7:00. From the time we wake up until around 11:00 or 12:00 we basically run around madly trying to do the things that need to be done in the house, on the machinery and in the yard. For the ladies it is often laundry, house cleaning, gardening and running after kids :) For the guys it's unloading grain, moving grain, testing grain, fixing and anything else that needs their desperate attention!

Then we head out to the field when we think things might be dry and we test the grain. We use a moisture tester. I wish I had pictures to show you how we do it...but I don't. Maybe someday :) Anyway every grain has their own "dry" point. If the grain is not dry enough when we put it in the bin it could mean spoilage. That's why we test it :)

If it's dry enough, then we go go go!!!! And keep on going until we can't anymore....or until we need some sleep!!! And then we go to bed, wake up and repeat :) Except on Sundays.....God sure knew what He was doing when He gave us that day of rest!

So just to give you a visual here are a few pictures (thanks Becca) of us out in the field and those left at home to feed us :)

Let's start with the food :) And the wonderful people who bring it out to us. There is nothing more wonderful, after being in a combine cab all day, than seeing the meal truck come into the field! Yummy :)

Here is Kerri making sure everything is packed.

 Every once in awhile someone ends up without a fork or something like that....but not very often :)

They do a great job packing an average of 

10 or 11 suppers every day. 

And here is the wonderful duo working hard to feed the crew

And they are still smiling :)

Everything labeled with sweet little notes :)

The notes don't happen every day, but it's a treat when it does :)

A tradition started a few years ago to make perogies 

and send them out to the field.

It's something we all look forward to 

All the meals are delicious but not too many beat this one!

Kerri putting the potato filling in.

Frying them up

(the reason we only have them once in awhile!)

This just makes my mouth water!!!

This is Caleb and I and another passenger (not sure who:)

We have a schedule for which kiddos come out to the field. 

We rotate who they go with every day. 

This lightens the load at home and gives some great bonding time for those in the field. 

How can you not bond when you are in a small cab together for hours on end!!!

The kiddos usually bring something along to play with, read or even school work. 

They also love to listen to stories that we have downloaded on our phones.

And they even get to play on the iPad once in awhile (if they come with mom:)

The combines unloading into the grain cart. 

The grain cart then empties into the grain truck.

And the trucker brings the grain to the bins.

Unloading the precious cargo into the bin.

This is canola.

The grain cart driver, Jen....reading I think :) 

And her little sidekick for the day...Brooke

Jen sometimes gets to have a bit of downtime during the day 

while waiting for the combines to fill (depending on the type of crop it is), 

but I don't envy her because she is the only one without air conditioning :(

The trucker, Josh, and his side kick for the day (Zach I believe).

We keep him pretty busy most days :)

And then there's the cute little helpers 

ready to be taken home from the field!

And who could forget these little sweeties, 

Makayla and Elijah.

I can't believe how much they have both grown over the winter!!!

Ahhhh.....I feel much better now!!! 

Warm weather will come....it has to!!! 

And for now we will try to enjoy the slower pace of life :)

For once it gets warmer and the snow melts and the land dries.....

life will get busy because....

That's life on the farm :)

Snowy Times

Yesterday we got another dump of snow! 

This has been quite a snowy winter for us! 

So just to give you a glimpse of what our part of the world is looking like right now 

I took a few pictures for you :) 

These are some of our hay bales for the cows.....under snow :)

This is where the chickens play in the spring/summer/fall.

 Looks like they are going to have to wait awhile to get their beaks outside :)

This is how deep it was when I was taking pictures. 

This is our pond area

This is what is looks like in summer. 

Wow it's weird to seem green!

Can't wait :)

Can you see the deck? And the rock? 

Today the rock is completely covered!

Our front door

The kids play area.

A couple of weeks ago Mikaya, Josiah and Jaden 

tried to play there.

Jaden ended up losing his boot in the snow :)

The skinny path to the garage

Our trampoline frame is under that big snow bank!

Do you see why we take the canvas off for the winter?

The back door with the puppy 

who is begging to come in!

Snow as far as the eye can see!

Sad puppy!

Actually she loves the snow....

she's just trying to get me to let her inside :)

The sad puppy face doesn't usually work with me, 

but it does with the kids!

And just cause I had the camera in my hand 

and because this boy is so cute :)

I think we all have spring fever around here but it looks like green grass is a long time away!

So for now we will make the best of it and try not to get lost in the snow banks :)

Cute at it's Finest!

I realize that I haven't give many updates on our grandchildren lately! So here's a quick one.
Andy has been doing really well and we are just thrilled how far he has come so far after his very rocky start in life! It really is a miracle and we praise God often for the gift that he is to us! Even though he is still quite tiny....he is growing up! He struggles a bit to talk but we know that there is lots going on in his mind all of the time!!! Just in the past month his vocabulary and pronunciation has really improved so I am sure it won't be long and he will be talking non-stop! He loves anything that has to do with tractors or bales :) He is a true farm boy, just like his daddy was at that age! He is a loving, polite little guy and we are so thankful for him!

Makayla is already over a year old ( I know I say it all the time....but where does time go?) She is the complete opposite of Andy...out going, adventurous, and a little bit mischievous :) She is a fun loving girl and reminds me a lot of her Auntie Jen when she was little....and now too :) It's really interesting how history repeated itself. Andy and Makayla relationship reminds me so much of Josh and Jen's when they were little (not so much anymore! Jen doesn't get Josh in trouble as much!!!) Again, we feel so blessed to have this little sweetie as our grand-daughter! What a blessing she is!

And it won't be much longer before a new little bundle will be added to our grandchildren!

Becca is due with baby #3 on May 2nd! We are excited to have another little baby around again :) 

On a completely different not.....but not really....

Last Saturday we witnessed the marriage between a lovely young couple (Rebecca's sister).

Rebecca was a bridesmaid. 

She looked so sweet in her glowing pregnant self!

Isn't she beautiful!

The cutest part was this.....

Andy and Makayla were flower girl and ring bearer.

They looked so adorable!!!!

But the best part was when Andy pulled Makayla all the way up to the front 

while she just took in the adoring stares around her! 

It was so typical of their personalities. 

Andy...the focused one. 

Makayla just wants to enjoy life at her pace!

It was the cutest thing ever!!!!

And that about does is for the "grandchildren" update :)
Thanks Megan and Rebecca for all the pictures I stole off your blog :)

Time

This school year I have been going through the devotional "Christian Manhood" with Caleb and Zachary. In our study a couple of weeks ago, we were studying about time. Don't you love it when you are teaching your children a spiritual truth and it seems to hit you more than them?  I never thought this lesson would impact me the way it did....but I won't think of time the same anymore!

Time is such a precious thing, a valuable gift, yet we tend to take it for granted. Our time here on earth has been measured out by God. We don't know how much time we have here on earth. We don't know if we will even wake up tomorrow morning. We don't know how many breaths we have left in us. I find that to be a very sobering thought. Not because I am scared of dying, because I know where I will spend eternity, but because I want to know that I know that I have accomplished all God has put me on earth for.

Once time is gone....it's gone!! We can never get last year, last week, yesterday, or even the last minute back! It's gone, forever!

I think about my free time and how I use it.  I look forward to those times where I can just relax for a few minutes in the evening. Those times where all the littles are tucked into bed and I can just sit and do nothing if I want! But lately I have been asking myself....what would God want me to do with this free time? Now, don't get me wrong. I am not against relaxing....we need rest and relaxation to be refreshed. But I think that even in my relaxing moments I can use my time wisely or unwisely. What do I spend those moments doing? Fulfilling the lust of the flesh or renewing my mind and spirit?

Here's a quote from the devotional book that really made me think. "Will what you are going to do with your time affect your affections? Will it in any way block your sense of the presence of God? Will it take away your desire for spiritual things? Will the way you use your time cause you to become more materialistic? Is your first concern for lost people or for the things money can buy? If what you plan to do with your time will in any way cause you to be less interested in spiritual things, then don't do it! Many people have set their affections on things, and they have little time or interest for those who are unsaved or for helping other Christians. Are you seeking only pleasure throughout the way you use your time?"

Then there is how I manage my time. As the years went by and we had more and more children, I realized the importance of using my time wisely in our home. I found that if I didn't have some kind of a schedule in my day I would tend to waste too much time and things just wouldn't get done! There are so many things that can steal my time. Internet, books, videos, visiting friends, texting or talking on the phone....not that these things are bad, but it is too easy to get lost in them and loose all sense of time. I have a responsibility to God and to my family to manage my time wisely. If day after day the laundry isn't getting washed/folded, if we are eating too much fast food, if my house is always in a state of chaos, if my kids are undisciplined....I need to re-evaluate the way I am spending my time because more often than not, my energies have been put into the wrong places.

It takes self-control to manage my time wisely. It would be easier many days to sit on the couch and read a book rather than doing laundry, cleaning house or making meals. It would be easier to spend time on the internet and ignore the children who are running wild around me. It would be easier to watch a movie and get lost in the moment rather than address what needs to be done around me. But if I choose to do these things, I am not using my time wisely. I am being a time waster. Of course there are some days where there are just not enough hours in the day and I just have to ignore the work around me and do some relaxing but this isn't what I am talking about. I am talking about being characterized by wasting time.

So these days I have been finding myself thinking a little bit more of how I use my time. I want to use my spare time to do something that will not just be chaffed burnt up one day, but will things that will affect my eternity in heaven. I only have a short time here on earth for my life is but a vapour, it's here today but it could be gone tomorrow.

How are you spending your time?

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,

Redeeming the time because the days are evil. Eph.5:15-16

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25 Years

This fall marks 25 years that Mark and I will be married. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that we said our vows to each other, and then I look around at all of our children and realize it's obviously been a few years :)

Getting married to my husband was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I feel so blessed that God brought us together. I never dreamed that we would be where we are in life 25 years later! The journey we have been on has been an exciting one. And I can say with all my heart that I hope we will be together AT LEAST another 25 years!

So since this year marks a very special milestone I thought it might be a good time to do a series on marriage from the perspective of me, a wife.  I would like to do 25 posts on this subject, but realistically I don't think I will get there! But I will try! And because I am a wife, I am going to talk to the wives paticularily. But I believe that many of these principles can apply to both husband and wife.

So here's where you come in. Are there any particular subjects you would like me to cover? Is there a question about us (marriage related) that you have been wondering? Leave me a comment and tell me what it is :) I can't promise that I will answer every one, but I will try my bestest!

When Mark and I got married I was 18 years old. People thought we were too young.....we thought we were mature, responsible and ready for marriage. I have never regretted getting married at 18, although I wish that I had been taught a few more things about being a wife. My mom was an amazing wife to my dad, but there were many principles that she had never learned, therefore she wasn't able to pass down to me. So I had to learn as I went along and am so grateful to God for teaching me how He did. In those early years there was no one to mentor me to be a Godly wife.  No one to take me under their wing and teach me what it meant to be a help meet to my husband. That's why it's so important for me today to be that woman to other wives who are searching. I know what it's like to struggle, fail, pick myself up and cry out to God for answers. I don't regret those days, for I know that I drew closer to God while I searched my heart and His word for answers. And I am thankful that after a few years God did bring someone into my life to mentor me. Someone who took the time to listen and give advice. (thanks Helen!!!)

God has taught me many things over the last 25 years. And it is only by His grace that I am the wife that I am today. And even though I look back and see how far I have come, I look forward and see how much I can improve. I am so grateful for His constant teaching, nudging, and pruning in my life. I always want my heart to be pliable so 'He who has begun a good work in me can complete it'!

Anyway, what I am going to share is something that I think is a real important principle for a wife to practice. NEVER SPEAK BADLY, NEGATIVELY OR COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND BEHIND HIS BACK OR TO HIS FACE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE.  I cringe when I hear wives put their husbands down, or complain about them in a group of people or even just one on one. And if a wife comes and starts to do this to me, I quickly shut down the conversation, change the subject, or encourage them to honour their husbands by their words. And sadly, do you know where I have seen this happen the most? In a woman's bible study or get together. I know....I've been there....I've participated.  Really ladies, this is cheap and I don't believe it is honoring to God. Your husband has been place by God as your head. Respect that!

God's word tells us in Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." I quote this verse often to our children because  it is often needed. But  I realize how I also need to live this every day in our marriage. What purpose does putting my husband down serve? NONE!!!

 I know there are some woman who will say, "But it's just in fun!" Well....find another way to have fun....and don't let it be at the expense of your husband.

I have made sure to teach this truth to my children as well. I am very careful not to talk negatively about their Dad to them. Not that I have never done it, I am human, I have slipped. But this is something that I have been very diligent to try and live every day. I have told my girls that one day when they are married (Lord willing) if they call me up and start complaining about their husband, I will hang up on them!!!! And I mean it!!! I will not be a third party to something that should be between a husband and a wife. Not that I don't want to be there for them....I do! But all they have to say is, "Please pray." That's all I need to hear! And if they need advice on how to work on their own hearts, I will gladly give that to them to. But that's where it will end!

So I just want to encourage you ladies, speak positively about your husband....to his face and behind his back. If you have a complaint about him, don't announce it to the world. First check your own heart and then pray for his. And if we are ever talking together and you complain about me to your husband......you know what I'll do :)

Family Pictures 2012

 I thought I better post our christmas family pictures 

because come April/May they are going to be out of date!!!!!

But, getting family pictures done with this CRAZY family 

is quite a challenge!!!

For there are SOME who never seem to co-operate.

 

Some who never seem to be paying ATTENTION!!!

And they seem to think that taking a family is just a big JOKE!!!! 

 Ya, you know who you are...

trying to act all INNOCENT like!!!!

Our beautiful GIRLS

And our handsome BOYS

And here's the reason why we are getting GRAY hair!!!

And the reason why we feel so INCREDIBLY blessed!

Mark and I and our precious GRANDCHILDREN

The WELL BEHAVED married couple :)

My HONEY and I

And finally.... a picture where everyone CO-OPERATED !!!!

(Actually if the truth be told, this was one of the very FIRST pictures we took!!! 

Would have save us a lot of SMILING if we would have know that :)

 “Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, 

and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands. 

Take time with them, teach them to have faith in God. 

Be a person in whom they can have faith. 

When you are old, 

nothing else you've done will have mattered as much.” 

― Lisa Wingate