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May 19, 2010

No Dating? By Jennifer

Even as young as I was I knew that my life was going to be different, special, set apart. I was riding along with mom in the baler when she first told me that when I became "of age" that I wasn't going to be dating, but rather saving my heart and emotions for one man. Doing so in the process of courtship as an alternate option. I was about 10 or 11 and I didn't really know what it all meant, but I knew it would change my life long term and that I was going to be different, but in a good way.

SIDE NOTE: For those of you who my have been wondering I have Never regretted my parents decision to protect me, to protect my heart. It has meant SO much to me to know that they care about who I am, and who I will become.

Courtship can be looked at from many different angles and explained in many different ways, but the main point to it all is to SAVE yourself for ONE person.

I have had a couple of people come up to me and say "do you have a boyfriend?" Umm... nope (how are you supposed to answer a question like that?). Usually the conversation is dropped there (thankfully :) but one person actually took it further when I said "no" and said "well do you have a crush?" Hee Hee "well I'm sure you'll find someone, there are lots of good looking guys around" Thanks... I really needed the encouragement... Ha, Ha. (Umm... not really) :)

People seem to think something is wrong if a girl doesn't have a boyfriend (or the other way around). Why? Why is this normal?

Should it be normal to waste my time on short term relationships when I can be doing something productive (like helping my family :)? Should it be normal to give pieces of my heart away when I could be saving ALL of myself for the man that I will be (Lord willing) spending the rest of my life with?

Proverbs 31:12 says:

She will do him (her husband) good and not evil all the days of her life.

All the days of her life! It doesn't just start when you get married... it starts now.

I would rather be able to look my husband in the eyes and tell him that I saved everything for him. Than "have fun" now and give pieces of my heart away. Pieces that I will want back when God brings the right man along. It's just not worth it.

Some people may ask, "Well how are you ever going to find a guy or know he is the right one if you don't date around?" Well let me tell you that my God is bigger than that. He knows where my husband is and He will bring him to me in His own good time. I don't have to go looking for him by "dating around" if it is God's will for me to marry... He will make sure that I get married! No, it hasn't always been easy to rely on God and trust in His perfect timing, but I'm learning more everyday how to give the Lord my hopes and my dreams.

Because He knows best, and He loves me most, so His opinion should be and IS the only one that matters.


Kelsey Anne Hoppman said...

Amen! Wonderful post!
I have actually had someone ask me (on my 16th birthday) if I had a boyfriend. I was surprised at the question at first, but then said, "Well, I have five brothers, and they are all my friends!" I think this person is still convinced I have some boyfriend I have not yet told her about though...
Great post.

Shelby said...

great post!

Anonymous said...

Great Jen.
love you lots,Rita

Anonymous said...

Good post! I also saved myself for the wonderful man I call my husband now :) I can't say I "courted", but I did wait for the right man that God had created for me. I can happily say I have no regrets of having "dated around" and my whole heart has been saved for my husband and still is :)
Amanda Hamm
ps Rebecca said I shouldn't just be a silent reader so I will try to leave comments every now and then :)

Rebecca Pauls said...

You are a wonderful example to many people, I am so proud of you girl!!! The world would be a much better place with more people like you in it. Keep on being the special girl that you are!
Love you lots!
Love Becs

Anonymous said...

Jenny I think it's graet that you can tell everyone how you feel about that part of your life.

You are an absolutely wonderful example to me and I admire you for the choises you make.

Love you lots girl!
Love Rae

The Munck Family said...

Gods plan and His timing...yep that's the best!!!

Aren't people silly and bold to ask such questions? The Lord has given you such a sweet heart and His plans for you are greater than any of us could imagine.

Love to you Miss Jen,
Aunt Laura

Coreen Berube said...

I agree as well - a wonderful example to many girls to whom dating is just a game - something to do for the fun of it. So sad because they have no idea what it will cost them after marriage. I briefly dated one guy before Matt but really it was more of a friendship so I can really say that I saved it all for Matt and I am so thankful.

It is so admirable that you, even though you don't have the hindsight, are choosing to believe and trust your parents in this matter, that saving yourself fully for one man will be all worth it once you are married. God bless you in this decision and I'll be praying for the RIGHT one :)

Jordie, Janae & Jerica said...

Awesome Jennifer! We totally ageree. Sometimes our classmates ask us the same thing, "You don't even have a crush on someone?". We are thankful for the way our parents raised us also. Thankyou so much for being strong to stand for what you believe in, it is an encouragement.
Love the J's

Anonymous said...

I gotta admire your stand to go this way. When I was dating my husband I think we did a combination of "dating" and "courting". But at 27 and 23 we knew that if marriage wasn't a possibility, we were wasting time and energy. I found your family blog through links starting at the websites of the Duggar family with 19 kids. Do people ever call you "the Manitoba Duggars?" Well, here's another line I heard on their show from Jessa when asked if anyone kissed a guy. "I kissed a guy. I have 10 brothers and I've kissed them all". LOL!