Do you ever wish you could re-live a few seconds of your life?
Wish you could rewind the tape and record it over?
That is how I felt yesterday.
It started out as a beautiful sunny day
and we knew that if everything went well
this would be our last combining day and we would be
finished harvest for the season!
So when it was dry enough, we went out to combine.
Everything was going great until I went to unload the combine.
I swung around to the truck and heard a sound
that I hope to never hear again.
A sound like I had hit something.
With my auger sticking straight out
I had failed to make sure my way was clear
and had indeed hit something.
I came to a dead stop, Mark gave me a
"I hope the damage isn't bad look"
What we could immediately see was that I had dinted the auger.
Dinted it enough that we couldn't unload the grain
and see the rest of the damage.
Have you ever had that sick, sick feeling deep n the pit of your stomach?
What we didn't know yet was what damage was under the grain.
As Mark went home to get some tools to start the fix-it job,
I sat there stunned.
How could I be so dumb? I have combined for many years,
I know that you always watch the auger!
I must say Mark was amazing through it all.
I have gotten more upset at our kids for
petty little mistakes they've made than he did about this huge one.
It's hard enough when he has to fix things that are broken
because they are worn out,
but when he had to struggle to fix something
that I had caused out of my own stupidity,
I felt really bad.
Things got worse instead of better when we found out
one thing after another was wrong.
We had to end up going home to get things fixed up
enough to be able to finish combining.
But as we were trying to get the grain unloaded
I prayed and asked God what I needed to learn
through this. Of course there was the obvious things:
humility, grace for others when they make mistakes,
joy in the midst of trials.......
But I figured there must be a deeper life lesson for me.
Almost immediately God spoke to my heart.
He spoke to me about Romans 14:10-12 12 10
But why dost thou judge thy brother?
or why dost thou set at nought thy brother?
for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord,
every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
I then thought of the sick, sick feeling in my stomach
for the mistake that I had made.
And then I thought how many times worse it will be
when I stand before God and give account
for the sin in my life.
The ungodly attitudes and actions.
The things that I knew were sin, but still did them.
How many moments will I wish I could re-live,
do over again but it will be too late?
Too many times my heart wanders from what I know is right.
Too many times I reject the proddings of the Holy Spirit in my heart.
Too many times........
So even though yesterday was a hard day,
a day I do not want to re-live,
I am glad for the life
lessons that I learned.
I am glad that in a moment of chaos God can still speak to us.
So the saying goes...
'The rest is history'
but in this case Mark only wishes the rest was history.
We still have a combine that needs some major fixing :(
But we were able to finish up harvest and for that we are very grateful :)
And unfortunately I will always have a reminder of that day
every time I combine and unload grain,
every time I drive past 'that spot'
And fortunately I will always have a reminder of that day,
because I don't ever want to forget the life lesson I learned.