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August 12, 2007



I have been saddened, shocked and yes even occasionally appalled by the self serving attitude of some moms now a days. I have been amazed how many times I have heard complaining lately about how tired, bored, lonely, and frazzled moms are.

I have been thinking about this a lot and wondering why this attitude seems to be so prevalant. What drives a mom to think that she should have her time and her space whenenver she wants it. Honestly I just don't get it?!?!?!

So of course as with everything I look at this and say, "Is this a training thing? Is it just personality or is it something more. As a mom, can I make or break (for lack of a better word) this attitude in our daughters?" And I came to the conclusion that the answer is yes. A lot of the training and ideas we give our daughters now, will affect their attitude as a mother
later on.

I thought back on my growing up years. What affected me and helped prepare me to be a mom? And I came to the conclusion that a lot of it had to do with good old fashioned work! Don't get me wrong, I know that the example of my mom had a lot to do with it, but I don't think that was the only thing that formed who I became as a mom. I think that the reason that our young moms find it so 'hard' being moms is because they are not taught to work at home. They are allowed to have their space and their time to do their thing whenever they want it. And therefore teaching them to become self centered.

I always think of the training of our children as preparing them for what they will do when they are grown. As I look back on my teen years, I worked hard, and I didn't like it at all! I am actually ashamed when I think of my attitude and how I treated my mom when she asked me to do chores around the house. But I am so grateful that she didn't let that discourage her from putting me to some good ol' fashioned work! I didn't have a lot of 'me' time. I remember comparing myself to my friends and seeing that they didn't have to work as hard as me and I didn't think that was fair. I had to babysit my younger siblings a lot, do laundry, house cleaning, gardening, feed animals, and the list went on and on. Every day when I came home from school, there was stuff to do. And you know what, now I really appreciate my mom for putting me to work! Because I believe she instilled in me the value that 'motherhood is not for wimps'. I knew what hard work was, I knew what self denial was, and it wasn't such a huge shock for me when I got married and became a mom and had to be on call 24/7. I wasn't used to having 'my time' and getting frustrated when I didn't. Please understand, I am not saying I was or am this perfect mom and I never got tired or frustrated when I was sleep deprived or had a sick child. I still had and have character issues to work on, but I don't remember having such huge issues with it as some moms today.

So now...I tell my girls, being a mom is hard work. I don't want to discourage them from having children (I want so many grandchildren that we will need a mansion to have family gatherings in :) but instead I want to instill in them a knowing that they will have to give of themselves 24/7, their time 24/7. So my girls don't have 'their time'. Yes, they get breaks, but they also know what hard work is. They know what it means to put aside their 'selfish ambitions', and do the task that is set before them.

Philippians 2:3-5 "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus."

So I guess the reason for this posting? To encourage you to train your daughters that 'Motherhood is not for Wimps' Teach them what hard work is, don't allow them to have the attitude that they can have their time, their space whenever they want it. Talk about being a mom to them, the challenges, the rewards, how the rewards outweigh the challenges if we have a Christ-like attitude.

And if you're a mom, and you have found yourself bemoaning the fact that you don't have the time or space to yourself that you would like, memorize Philippians 2:3-5. Get it in your heart, think of Jesus, the person who was the ultimate example of giving of Himself. Tell yourself that "Motherhood is not for Wimps" that it is and will be hard work, but look at the bigger picture, the amazing privelage you have to raise another 'plant grown up' or a 'polished corner stone' (see Psalm 144:12)

And remember:
What you do today will affect the future of your children
and their children and their children............


Stacey said...

Thank you so much for your comment on my blog! It's very encouraging to hear from other women who have 'been there done that'! I thought I would check out your blog, since I didn't recognize your name, and I was blessed by what you wrote in this post. I have a hard time remembering that I am here to serve others. In fact, I just read a great book recently, and I think I'll have to read again, it's called 'Created to be his Help Meet'. Maybe you've heard of it. It talks mostly about a wife's role in the marriage, but also about being a mom. I found it very challenging, but so true. I want to raise my kids to understand what God has placed us here for. Thanks again for your encouragement!

The Pauls' said...

Thanks Stacey for your comment.
I have heard of the book you mentioned and it is on my book 'wish' list. It sounds really good and something I need to read as well.