Respect for Life Week

As I was meditating on the fact that it is 'Respect for Life Week' I got that all too familiar sick feeling in my stomach thinking about what is being done to these precious little babies. The anger I felt for those who would even consider taking a life.

Being through 10 pregnancies I know very well the feeling of having that little miracle inside of you. Abortion is all so sad. And yet so many times I feel so helpless. I would love to counsel some of these women who think there is no other way. But right now God has given me my own precious gifts to care for and love. So today I asked myself, What can I do?


I was surfing the internet trying to find a poem or something to post in honor of this week set aside for the Respect for Life. Instead I came across a site with quotes from doctors/nurses who have performed abortions. As I read these quotes of people who take lives I realized what I can do. I can pray ferverently for these who are so deceived and who have become so hardened. The guilt and the shame they must go through continuously. No matter how hard they are, this must still affect them.

So my prayer today is: "God open their eyes, humble their hearts, bring them to repentance. Help them to know that in You there is hope and forgiveness. "

I hope you will join your hearts with me in prayer for those and others who have made quotes similiar to these.


NOTE: THIS CONTENT MAY DISTURB SOME READERS
Think of it this way- what is the best way to learn about abortion? To actually witness an abortion first hand or to work in a clinic. The second best thing is to read verified eye-witness accounts from people who are current and former abortion providers. These quotes have been tracked down from a number of sources, from the research of pro-choice author Magda Denes to the Washington Post to other magazines.

"In fact many women will come to me considering abortion, and I have been personally told that I am to turn the monitor away from her view so that seeing her baby jump around on the screen does not influence her choice." Shari Richards, quoted from the John Ankerburg Show on 3/7/90

"They [the women] are never allowed to look at the ultrasound because we knew that if they so much as heard the heart beat, they wouldn't want to have an abortion."-Dr. Randall



"We tried to avoid the women seeing them [the fetuses] They always wanted to know the sex, but we lied and said it was too early to tell. It's better for the women to think of the fetus as an 'it.'--Abortion clinic worker Norma Eidelman quoted in Rachel Weeping p 34


"Sometimes we lied. A girl might ask what her baby was like at a certain point in the pregnancy: Was it a baby yet? Even as early as 12 weeks a baby is totally formed, he has fingerprints, turns his head, fans his toes, feels pain. But we would say 'It's not a baby yet. It's just tissue, like a clot.'"--Kathy Sparks told in "The Conversion of Kathy Sparks" by Gloria Williamson, Christian Herald Jan 1986 p 28


"Now, the baby I aborted was eleven weeks old, and can you imagine what this did to me when I saw this baby with the hands and face, sucking his thumb? And they told me it was a cluster of cells!"--Carole K.State Director of Women Exploited By Abortion. From Women Exploited, which is a sampling of the stories of WEBA (Women Exploited by Abortion) chapter members.


I had taken anatomy, I was a medical student. I knew what I was looking at. There was a little scapula and an arm, I saw some ribs and a chest, and a little tiny head. I saw a piece of a a leg, and a tiny hand and an arm, and you know, it was like somebody put a hot poker into me. I had a conscience, and it hurt. Well, I checked it out and there were two arms and two legs and one head and so forth, and I turned and said "I guess you got it all.' That was a very hard experience to go through emotionally.--abortionist


"I remember an experience as a resident on a hysterectomy. I remember seeing the baby move underneath the sack of membranes, as the caesarean incision was made, before the doctor broke the water.
The thought came to me, "My God, that's a person" Then he broke the water. And when he broke the water, it was like I had a pain in my heart, just like when I saw that first suction abortion. And then he delivered the baby,. and I couldn't touch it.. I wasn't much of an assistant. I just stood there, and the reality of what was doing on finally began to seep into my calloused brain and heart.
They took that little baby that was making little sounds and moving and kicking, and set it on that table in a cold, stainless steel bowl. Every time I would look over while we were repairing the incision in uterus and finishing the Caesarean, I would see that little person moving in that bowl. And it kicked and moved less and less, of course, as time went on. I can remember going over and looking at the baby when we were done with the surgery and the baby was still alive. You could see the chest was moving and the heart was beating, and the baby would try to take a little breath, and it really hurt inside, and it began to educate me as to what abortion really was." quoted in "Pro-Choice 1990: Skeletons in the Closet"



"You have to become a bit schizophrenic. In one room, you encourage the patient that the slight irregularity in the fetal heart is not important, that she is going to have a fine, healthy baby. Then, in the next room you assure another woman, on whom you just did a saline abortion, that it is a good thing that the heartbeat is already irregular....she has nothing to worry about, she will NOT have a live baby...All of a sudden one noticed that at the time of the saline infusion there was a lot of activity in the uterus. That's not fluid currents. That's obviously the fetus being distressed by swallowing the concentrated salt solution and kicking violently and that's to all intents and purposes, the death trauma. ..somebody has to do it, and unfortunately we are the executioners in this instance..."--abortionist Dr.Szenes



The first time, I felt like a murderer, but I did it again and again and again, and now, 20 years later, I am facing what happened to me as a doctor and as a human being. Sure, I got hard. Sure, the money was important. And oh, it was an easy thing, once I had taken the step, to see the women as animals and the babies as just tissue."--abortionist quoted from a radio talk show by John Rice in "Abortion" Litt D. Murfreesboro, TN.



"Nobody wants to perform abortions after ten weeks, because by then you see the features of the baby, hands, feet. It's really barbaric."--abortionist quoted in M.D. Doctors Talk About Themselves by John Pekkanen p 93



The doctors would remove the fetus while performing hysterectomies and then lay it on the table., where it would squirm until it died. ..They all had perfect forms and shapes. I couldn't take it. No nurse could."--Joyce Craig, director of a Brooklyn clinic of Planned Parenthood. who assisted in abortion for two months, then quit. p 34



I want the general public to know what the doctors know- that this is a person, this is a baby. That this is not some kind of blob of tissue."--Dr. Anthony Levantino



I am deeply troubled by my own increasing certainty that I have in fact presided over 60,000 deaths. There is no longer serious doubt in my mind that human life exists from the very onset of pregnancy"--Dr. Bernard Nathanson, "Deeper Into Abortion" New England Journal of Medicine Nov 1974 p 1189



"Even if you are pro-choice, no one likes to see a dead fetus." -Vilma Valdez, Education Director Planned Parenthood of Greater Miami, The Miami Herald, Oct 24 1992

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Chpt. 11 Created to Be His Help Meet

Sorry this post is late. We've had a crazy week which included being stormed stayed in Winnipeg on Monday. I enjoyed many parts of this chapter but the part that stood out the most to me was where Debi talks about the woman who reminds her husband of what he was going to do in a manner of saying, “I am holding you to it” I have been very guilty of this and Mark has called me on it a few times. When he has commented about doing something and I take it as a ‘I am going to do this” and then if he doesn’t do it I say “But you said….” And I recognize now what this has done is caused him to keep part of his heart to himself because it is not worth my comments later on. I have indeed been guilty of what she says on pg. 114 “Using your special knowledge of you husband as leverage to get your way.” Another part that stood out to me was she talks about a woman’s spirituality. Today it is definitely measured by how spiritual she looks on the outside, what positions she holds in the church, how ‘spiritual’ her lingo is, a prayer warrior. But when do you ever hear a woman’s spiritual standing judged on how submissive she is to her husband? I can’t recall ever hearing this. I believe this is because of a lost view of what a woman’s calling really is. It isn’t the view of the virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31. “Is your desire for your husband? (Gen. 3:16) Do you live to please him? Or do you expect him to live up to your convictions and whims? Do you spend your days in angry frustration over his unwillingness to change to your specifications? “ pg. 116

Recipe Alert!

Check out a new recipe on our recipe blog.

New Kids on the Block

Everyone here is excited about the new additions to our farm.

Our goat Nellie gave birth to triplets on Wednesday.

Sadly one did not make it but we are having fun with the twins.

Here are some pictures soon after they were born.

More to come later!

Reactions Define You

Review of chapter 10 from the book 'Created to be His Help Meet' by Debi Pearl A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil; for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.” Luke 6:45 As as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…” Proverbs 23:7 I could stop right there. These verses give so much to think about. It really gives no excuse for the words that I say to others, that I speak to my husband. What is in my heart is going to come out of my mouth. After reading this chapter I became very conscious of what was in my heart. And to tell you the truth, I was often times very shocked. But it also made me understand why I sometimes have a hard time being a submissive wife. My heart is in the wrong place because of the thoughts I have been harbouring. So I have been training myself to evaluate my words, am I speaking words of praise or bitterness. Are the words that I speak to my husband out of a heart that has been harbouring bitterness or lifting my husband up. Even in my thoughts I can be unsubmissive. It isn’t just action. Really when a bitter thought comes into my head and I let that simmer, this is where I begin my road of evil thoughts that will eventually come out of my mouth and be shown in my actions. If this truth can become part of my heart (out of my heart my mouth speaks) I believe I will have a much easier time submitting because my heart will already be there. And I believe it has already helped me a lot. As soon as I find myself thinking thoughts that are not honouring of my husband and I can recognize them as such and begin to give these things to God, I am one step ahead than if I had dwelt on these thoughts and let them simmer in my heart. If I can truly say in my heart “Not my will, but thine be done,” then I will be able to rest in my heart and submit. Where are your thoughts today, are they bringing you close to your journey of becoming a godly wife, or are they hindering you?

Not Much in Life is Free

But the Manitoba Ag Show was.

So on Thursday we went as a family.

It can be very expensive for our family to go to things like this when you have to pay per person.

But this was totally free!

The little boys had great fun climbing on all the newest machinery and trucks, eating too much candy at the booths, getting free toys, collecting many machinery pamphlets & cd's, and lots and lots of walking.

I got some free recipes, free popcorn (for those of you who know me well, you know that popcorn is one of my favorite snacks), free pens, and free excercise!

I posted a picture here but Megan had the camera and the older 4 were off with their friends so the pictures are all about them :)

But all and all it was fun and it was FREE!!!! (OK, maybe that excites me a little too much!)

Created to be His Help Meet Chpt. 8 & 9

I combined this week’s study with last weeks because chapter 8 was pretty much each person to themselves. I appreciated this chapter because it did help me understand my husband a little better and why he is the way he is.

The reason I like this book is because every week it reminds me of my role as a wife. It is so easy to loose focus, to become something other than my husbands helpmeet. I hope there is a time soon that this will become part of my heart and that I can serve joyfully with out the constant struggle of my flesh. But right now I confess that I still struggle on a daily basis to be a helpmeet, an extension of my husband.

This weeks lesson reminded me once again of the many mistakes I have made as a wife. My husband is primarily a steady and I know I have crushed or belittled his ideas and dreams too many times and he has shut down in those areas. Thank God for His grace and for my husbands forgiveness, but I know that I still am reaping the consequences for my actions. Those things don’t just get rebuilt overnight. It takes time and I think sometimes some things are never restored.

Here are some of my favourite principles of this chapter.

First of all I love the title of the chapter “Finding Your Life In His”
As I thought about this, I thought of how marriage is a picture of the church and how we know that as the bride of Christ we are to find our life in Christ’s. It is the same for me as a wife to my husband, I am to find my life in his. Not my dreams, ambitions, goals….but his. And in this I will find true joy.

pg. 95
“Because of his wife’s controlling hand and his desire to ‘do his duty’ and please her, he had failed to live his dreams.” I guess this really got me, because I know that many times my ‘controlling hand’ I have caused my husband to try to please me and therefore he has not lived out the God given dream that has been placed in him. Even though my husband is a steady, he does have dreams, and I think sometimes they take me by surprise and often my first reaction is to make him know how unrealistic or silly those dreams are. When in fact I should be there to encourage his dreams and let God take care of the rest.

Pg. 97
“God is not looking for happy women to make them into help meets for men. He is looking for women willing to be true helpmeets, so he can fill them full of joy.” Joy is so much better than happiness. Joy is true, deep inner fulfillment. It is not temporary, it is lasting, it is eternal. The choice is mine, do I want the temporary fulfillment of being my own self with my own goals and ambitions, or will I choose to be a helpmeet to my husband and be filled with joy. I think I choose the latter!

As I pondered this chapter I realized again how society is so opposite of God’s plan for the wife’s role in a marriage. From the books we read, from the movies we watch, from the magazine articles we pour over, from the messages in the advertisements….the list goes on and on. I get so frustrated sometimes that no one taught me this when I was a young married wife and that I took my guidance from the world instead of God‘s Word. Where were those older women that were to teach me? But I guess my duty is not to bemoan the fact that I wasn’t taught, but instead pick up from here and ask God for wisdom to change my ways and not to be confident in the fact that I want to be my husbands helpmeet. Also to make sure that I am there to teach the younger women now, so that they will not have to wake up like me someday and realize all the times they could have been a helpmeet to their husbands and were not.

So if you are a woman reading this today the question is:
“Are you finding your life in your husbands? Are you being a blessing to him, a true friend, an encouragement, an extension of him? My prayer is that I will be that to my husband and that as I seek God for wisdom on how to do this, He will grant it to me as He promises in His word.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”
James 1:5

By the way, Friday is not turning out to be a very good day to do this study, so I am changing it to Tuesday.

A Special Day In History

THEN

On January 8, 1968 a MARVELOUS thing happened. God chose to send a little boy into the world.


He was cute as a button and his parents soon knew what an AGILE boy he was as he grew.


A REMARKABLE guy, that's why they named him so, with his KINDHEARTED and KOOKY ways, if you've met him you know!


As he grew into a handome young guy, but there was one particular gal, he caught her eye.


Even thought she said she never wanted to marry and AGRICULTURALIST, once she got to know this LOVEABLE guy it didn't take her long to want to be his wife.


So on a sunny day in September they were wed and the rest is history as the phrase is said.


But history was still made as the years went by as they learned how to be husband and wife.


There were many things this gal loved about her man, but many things still suprised her that she had not planned.


She would say she would like something built and to her delight this guy would get out his hammer and a masterpiece would unfold before her eyes.


It was then she realized what an ARTISTIC guy he really was, any girls dream, how could she not love.


Today they are still married so happily, and she realizes why Mrs. Mark Pauls she wanted to be.


NO-NONSENSE is the motto he often lives by, if there is a job to do, do it, no matter how hard it looks, he will always try.


Today you will see him as a PASSIONATE guy; from the way he loves his God to the love that he show his children and wife.


He is an AFFECTIONATE man who loves to hug, and is often found giving someone in his family a cuddle.


UNBEATABLE is he in his wit and one liners, and likes to get us all laughing and make the mood lighter.


He makes our home LIVELY with never a dull moment and we couldn't imagine our life without him in it!


Yet with all this fun a SWEET, STEADY guy is he, and we would want no one else to lead our family.



HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY TO MY ONE AND ONLY!
I LOVE YOU!


M-MARVELOUS
A-AGILE
R-REMARKABLE
K-KINDHEARTED, KOOKY


A-AGRICULTURALIST
L-LOVEABLE
A-ARTISTIC
N-NO-NONSENSE


P-PASSIONATE
A-AFFECTIONATE
U-UNBEATABLE
L-LIVELY
S- SWEET, STEADY

NOW

OUR LITTLE SNOW-BUDDIES

A Sick Mama

Well for the first time in 4 years the stomach flue hit me hard.

Yesterday Jesse and I were both sick in bed all day.

But as I was laying there out of it, not able to take care of my family,

my daughters took up the slack.

I was so proud of them, as I was not even able to give instruction.

They just took over and made the household run smoothly.

Sometimes with your children you have discipline/disciple moment

after moment, and you don't see immediate fruits of your labor.

I remember years ago when I was a mom of many young ones ( I guess I still am!) and wondered when I would see the good all my daily correction was doing.

But I now see fruit many times from our kids, and yesterday will always

stand out in my mind. What a relief it was to know that all I had to do was get better.

So just a word of encouragement for all you moms out there.

There may be days when it seems all you do is correct your children,

but the day will come when you will see the fruits of your hard labor.

So keep on keep'in on :)

ps If you think of our family please pray for us as the flue has now hit Brooke and Mikaya.

pps The above photo Megan took on Christmas Eve day

A Mother's Reflection of 18 years Happy Birthday Joshua

It seems like only yesterday,
We waited to meet our little bundle.
Someone we had been waiting to meet for so many months
We wondered what you would look like, who would you resemble.
What would your personality be like.

Of course you decided that you would like to enter the world as a celebrity.
So you chose to be born on New Year’s Day.
We couldn’t think of a better way to start out the New Year.

It didn’t take us long to realize the deep love that a parent can have for their child.
You were so perfect, little round face, 10 little fingers, 10 little toes, and to top it all off
amazing red hair.

Our journey with you began. We sometimes felt sorry for you as we were new to this parenting thing and we had so much to learn. But we learned together. We knew that as long as we kept crying out to God for wisdom that He would direct our path. This doesn’t mean we didn’t make mistakes, we made many, but the forgiveness of a child and of our God is so refreshing. We had many live and learn moments and we still do.

You were such a cute little guy. You loved anything with wheels. You followed your dad around whenever you could. But you did not like bugs, donuts and mud (or anything else sticky or dirty).

You have given us so many memories. Remember this phrase “Are you going to take a picture?” A family shares so many things, little things that would mean nothing to others, but to us it is our identity. It a phrase or a word that we can say and only we know what it means!

As you began to grow up, we saw more and more the personality God gave you that was only unique to you.
I remember when you were with Dad and I when we were having a conversation with another adult how you would just stand there and stare at that person. Many times we would have liked to know what you were thinking, but you just stared with such concentration.

As more siblings were added to our family you became such a great big brother! When they were with you I could be sure that everything would be taken care of, because that’s the way you liked things to be. In order and justice prevailing. You were also good at getting your sister Jennifer to do the things you didn’t have the courage to do. “Jennifer, you pick up that snake, Jennifer, you climb up that tree.”! As the years went on you became a big brother many times over and every time you had a love, a cuddle, a smile.
As I watch you watch you with your brothers and sisters now, I see how much your approval means to them. They look up to you and that is because of the many years of love you have given them.

You have always loved the farm life. When you were little and would work with your dad you would watch things so closely, and if something seemed out of the norm, you would tell him and usually it was a problem that needed attention. When it came time for you to start doing things on your own, some stuff you didn’t have to be taught because you had been so attentive over the years. We are still amazed many times at your maturity and dependability. I know I don’t say it to you enough but you are a very good worker.

We never bought into the lie of the world that thing called ‘teenage rebellion’. We were confident that if we raised you according to the way God tells us in His word that you would not rebel. I thought when we came to this day that you turned 18 I would say ‘We made it’! but instead I say the journey goes on. Yes we have come a long way together, but the journey is not over. You have grown into another stage in your life where you will be taking on more responsibility, and more decisions. And I can say that I am very confident that you will continue to be a steady, godly young man. I wondered when we got here, would I be afraid to let you make decisions for fear of you making the wrong one? Although I know none of us are perfect and you are no exception, I am confident of who you are in Christ. I am confident that you will not act on whims or feelings, but that you will follow the leading of your heavenly Father and continue to ask for the advice of your Dad. Because I know that over the years you have learned wisdom. Life has a way of teaching us things, and I believe that you have put to heart the things that you have learned.

I could not be more proud of you, I would never want anyone to replace you as our son. I am so glad that God chose you to be our first born and I look forward to many more years on this journey of life and learning. But just remember, we are still learning! Everything that happens from here on is still a first for us! But we still know and believe that when we ask God for wisdom He will give it to us. Praise Him for His grace and His never-ending love.

As you journey on may you fully understand the plan God has for you. May you not live your life according to the way you think man would have you live, but rather the way God would have you live. May you always look to Him for the decisions you will have to make. May you never take your eyes off of Him. May you love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. "Above all else, may you guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life". Proverbs 4:23

Created To Be His Help Meet Chpt.6

Fear-Fear has become such a negative word in our culture. But the fear of the Lord is a beautiful and awesome thing. As I read this chapter I had to ask myself, “Do I have the fear of God in me.” Sadly too many times I have more of the fear of people than the fear of God in me. And the reason I believe I think this way is because I don’t see things as for eternity but rather I see things only the here and now. Many times I would rather see God as a loving, forgiving God who will excuse my ‘ungodly ways’ and forget them. While this is true, my God is a forgiving loving God, there are also consequences for my behaviour. I cannot go through life with a ‘God will forgive me’ attitude and think that there will not be consequences for my sin. I will reap what I sow. Whether good or bad. So in my daily walk, being my husbands help meet is no different. This is what God has commanded me to be. If I am not that, I am being disobedient, and am in sin. So simple yet so hard when in the middle of it. Everyday all day I make choices. I make choices to submit or not to submit to my husband. And for me to see the big picture, to see it God’s way is often hard. And it’s usually such silly little things that get me going. I have a phrase that I often think about and say to our children, “Is it going to matter when you get to heaven?” For me this really puts things into perspective. Is it going to matter in heaven the very thing that is making me so upset right now. What really matters is my heart, my obedience. I cannot change my husbands heart, but I can change mine. I will not be judged according to my husbands deeds, but I will be judged according to mine. (Romans 14:12) So today I choose.

Christmas With the Rowley Family

We had a great Christmas with Rosalie's family all coming over for a couple of days.

Here are some highlights in photos

Top Row: My beautiful pregnant sister Amanda, Nathan arranging the manger scene, Grama and Josh,

Mark & Jennifer cuddling, Grama and her christmas gift that Mark made.

Left side: Cousin Isaiah and Brooke, Grama looking at her scrapbooking calender that Rosalie made for her, Uncle Jeremy and Brooke

Right side: Grama enjoying quality time with grandchildren, Grampa playing hockey (he still has great reflexes!), Brooke and Isaiah playing some christmas tunes

Bottom Row: Cousins with the goats, playing hockey (we spent many hours doing this), traditional fondue

Middle: Family Photo

Back Row: Mark, my brother Jeremy, Amanda's husband Josh, my brother Travis, my dad, Joshua

2nd Row: Me and Mikaya. Caleb, Jeremy's wife Laura, my sister Amanda, my mom

3rd Row: Zachary, Megan, Jesse, Kerri, Jennifer

Front Row: Isaiah, Brooke, Nathan

Family is Forever

Life has been full and fun lately.

We were able to finish our skating rink complete with outside boards, a shack warmed with a wood stove and lots of light.

Every afternoon we try to finish our work quickly so we can get out there and have a good ol' game of hockey. It's great excercise, great fun and a great way to make memories.

Making family memories is important. It's important to take the time together that will build your family identity. Doing things that you all have a common bond together. Letting you children know that you love to spend time together with the family. Now a days it is so easy to all go separate ways, with different activities and forget to make family togetherness a priority. If you build a strong family identity, this relationship will be a priority in your lives for years to come.

We always tell our children that the relationship with their family is most important. Friends are all great and fun, but when it all comes down to it, family is who you will always have relationship with. So why spend all of your time cultivating relationship with friends that you will rarely, if ever see when you leave home. Family is forever.

Christmas is a great time to make family memories. A time to do those things that when everyone is grown and comes back together again will say, "Remember when...." Life is too short to spend on stuff that will fade away.

So go on......make some memories!

The Gift of Wisdom Chpt. 5 in Created to Be His Help Meet

This chapter started off with the question: Do you have enough fear of God not to question His Word? Well....that's a loaded question and one that I think about often. In this chapter though, it is referring to the command by God for woman to be submissive and obedient to their husbands. It can be hard to trust God when our circumstances are less than perfect. And that is when we need to ask God for wisdom. James 1:5 says: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. Of course the next verse says: But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. I believe to have faith we have to trust. We have to trust that God knows what He is doing. We often say to our children that their responsibility isn't to understand all the things we as parents tell them to do, but to trust that God has put us in authority. When they can really understand this in their hearts then responding to our authority will come a lot easier for them. And I think it is also this way with us as wives. If we trust that God is God and that what He says in His word is for our good, then we will find submitting to our husband much easier. So if we believe in God and His word we will understand that when we believe in Him and ask Him for wisdom in our situation, He will give it to us. Wisdom helps me to see things in God's light, to see my husband in God's light. God's wisdom tells me that His command for me to submit to my husband does not hinge on who my husband is or what he does. It takes God's wisdom for me to keep from striking back when I feel I have been mistreated. It takes God's wisdom to serve my husband even when I think I should be served. All of this does not come naturally for me, I have to really trust God in my heart and know that I know His word is absolute, that it does not depend on my feelings or circumstances. As Debi put it, "You can decide to be in a constant state of anger or bitterness, or you can ask God for the wisdom to live each day in a state of honoring your man for God's sake." So what will you choose to do? I would love to hear your comments on this post or this chapter.

YOUR CHILD'S CONSCIENCE

There are 2 parts to our conscience.

One is our primary conscience.

This is the conscience that is common to all men and women.

Even without the law, God gave man a basic sense of right and wrong.

It is not instinct, but a preknowledge given by God.

There is also a trainable portion of the conscience called the moral conscience.

It is the learned standards of right and wrong.

While the primary conscience is prestamped by God, the moral conscience needs training.

So let's focus on the trainable portion of man's conscience, the moral conscience.

As I talked about in a previous post, telling your child what is right and wrong without giving the moral reason from God's Word will be inadequate in training your child's heart.

We place principles of moral conduct in our heart. Our heart receives, stores and governs instruction. (Psalm 119:11)

The heart is a type of warehouse. In it you deposit moral knowledge to be used at a later time.
Think of a warehouse that is stacked up high on each aisle. Things are labeled well to make it easily identifiable when it is needed. Same as our heart, we place moral values there to have something to draw from when a situation occurs.

So as parents, in the years when we train our children, we are the ones who stock those moral shelves. We teach our children about God and His ways (Deut. 6:6-9), which includes telling them what He requires of them morally (Micah 6:8). When you help place virtues such as honesty, respect, fairness, wisdom, kindness, self-control, gentleness and patience in his heart, the conscience can begin to do it's work.

But just because the knowledge of morals is there, this does not automatically mean that they will act morally. We have churches filled with 'knowledgeable' children who are going wayward. Instructing your child to what is morally acceptable is the easy part, it's training a child to control his behaviour to conform to these morals that's the harder part. Many children know what is expected of them but will not always do what is right. Once again, if we train the head and not the heart we will have a child that will grow up moral on the outside but not on the inside.

Man's conscience will warn and accuse him if he is about to do wrong and if he doesn't heed this, he will be plagued by guilt. As parents we have to guard against hardening our child's conscience by not addressing sin or not putting values in their heart so they have nothing to draw from.

The conscience also has a positive side that can prompt a man to do right and when he does it confirms him. This is God's pat on the back and there is great satisfaction knowing you have pleased Him.

So our conscience becomes a type of radar that guides us morallly. It encourages us in the right direction or warns us when we are about to do wrong. So when you come up to a new situation your conscience goes to your moral warehouse and searches for a corresponding value. If it finds one, it either prompts or warns. If there is nothing there, the search ends and nothing happens.

Here's an example that happened to me lately. I was at a store. I had bought 4 mats for our entrance. 2 were big and 2 were small. When I got to the checkout the guy counted the mats each mat and came up with 6. So he charged me for 6 small mats. Doing a quick calculation
I soon realized that I was getting a deal. My conscience was alerted and it quickly went to work scanning the shelves for a value. It came up with the value 'You shall not steal'. The prompting mechanism said 'It would be wrong to take advantage of the mistake of this person, someone will lose out', the warning mechanism said, 'It would be stealing if you did not say anything.' If I would not have had this value in my heart the search would have come up empty. But it found and presented this value to me although I still had a choice to make. Was I going to act on this value. I have to be honest and say I was tempted to not mention anything, but after a moment I thought better and told the clerk that he had miscalculated. He then rescanned the mats and I payed the proper amount.

The conscience develops both positively and prohibitively. Positive training includes instruction, encouragement, and reinforcement and takes place mostly in the middle and upper years. Prohibitive training includes warnings, restrictions, punishment, and consequences and is used more commonly in the early years. An overemphasis on either one in unhealthy.

Young children learn to avoid wrongdoing out of fear of punishment, but as they grow older and learn moral values, they should learn to avoid wrongdoing out of love of virtue. It is very important to make this transition from prohibitive training to positive training. It can be tempting to stay with the method that you used to get your children's behavior to reflect God's Word. But it is wrong to stay there. By the age of 3 or 4 years you should be well on your way to providing the moral reasons to your instruction. If you don't move from prohibitive to positive training you will limit your child's capacity to reason morally.

A positive conscience says 'I ought to because it is right' or 'I ought not do it because it is wrong' where the prohibitive conscience says,'I better do it or else I'll be punished.'

A healthy conscience will develop when parents encourage their child to do right rather than always discouraging him from doing wrong. On the contrary an unhealthy conscience is in an ongoing state of guilt. Every thought is centered around disappointing someone, being misunderstood or being rejected. He may do many virtuous acts, not out of love for right, but from fear of potential error.

Be careful not to cultivate a prohibitive conscience in your child by creating a fear of them losing your love or making them feel guilty. This can sometimes be an easy way to get control but it is a wrong way and will backfire later on.

Think about yourself, your upbringing, did you grow up with a healthy or unhealthy conscience. Knowing this will help you understand how and why you approach things in your own life the way you do and also will help you in training your children.

REMEMBER: The properly trained conscience knows wrong even when there is no signpost saying it is wrong.

The ideas expressed here were taken from the parenting course

"ALONG THE VIRTUOUS WAY' by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo

Created To Be His Help Meet Chpt. 4

Let me ask you a question. When your kids are all grown up and have left home will you still know you husband? I don't just mean know his name, what he likes for supper, or how he likes his socks folded, but really know him. Will you still know what ignites that spark between the two of you that was so bright when you first met each other. Will you still want to spend time together? I think I have mentioned this before, but as wives we sometimes get so caught up in our kids that we forget the effort needed to keep our relationship with our husband strong and healthy. And we have seen situations where couples pour everything into their kids and then when they are grown up and left home, they are left with a spouse who is practically a stranger. So what can I do to make sure this does not happen? Here are some of the ideas I have gleaned from this book and some of our own experiences. - Take time to laugh and enjoy each others company. Sometimes I get so caught up in the endless tasks I have as a mom that I forget to laugh with my husband. But when we laugh together it bonds us and is also a great example for our kids of a healthy relationship. They love it when we joke around together or have a 'tickle fight'. Plus it's lots of fun! - When you have something to share (new idea, event in your day, a new joke) share it first with your husband instead of your mom or your other friends. Who you share these things with is who your soul will be tied to. Make sure it's tied to your husband. Remember when you were courting and you just couldn't wait to tell him the latest news? I remember making a list of things to tell him when he would call. This was important to me then and it should be important now. - Don't go out with 'your' friends. It seems to be a interpreted as a weakness these days to actually want to spend free time with your spouse. I think the theory that we tell our kids often, applies here as well. My husband will always be here (as long as we both shall live). Why would I concentrate on spending my time with friends instead of my best friend. Now I can hear some of you saying, "What, you mean we should never spend time with our friends?" Sure you can spend time with friends, but why not spend time together with mutual friends. I rarely go out with just my friends. We concentrate on spending the little time we have to visit, to visit together as a couple or as a family. That way we have experienced what each other has experienced and it builds unity and a common bond between us. - Don't get into the 'your time, my time' way of thinking. I believe that when I chose to marry Mark I chose to have 'our time'. We have witnessed other couples have 'their time' and will fight for their time not matter what the price. I think this cultivates a self-centeredness and causes an unhealthy competition (eg. You did this, now I get to do that) - Find out what really makes your husband feel loved. A very good book about this topic is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. In this book Gary describes the different ways that people want to be loved. The five different love languages are; quality time, physical touch and closeness, encouraging words, gift giving, and acts of service. Every one has a primary love language. And each of us has our own way that we feel the most loved. I strongly recommend this book as it is a tool to figure out what makes your husband (and children) feel loved. - Surprise your husband with a get away, special supper or an evening with just the two of you. A while ago (too long ago now that I think about it) I 'kidnapped' Mark. I arranged things at home so that we could go away for a couple of days, packed our things, hid them in the trunk of the car and made it seem like we were just going for our routine errand running. When we got to our usual destination and Mark went into the store I put a 'ransom' not on his seat in thh car. It was only then that he was clued in to what was happening. We had a great time and it was extra special because it was a way for me to say to him 'you mean a lot to me and you are worth all this'. The older kids also had a fun time trying to keep the secret from dad! When we had little ones and I was still nursing a baby we would send the kids downstairs or wait until they were in bed and I would turn our living room into a 'romantic restaurant'. I would prepare a special supper and then we would spend some one on one time. Now that we have older kids who can babysit we can get away more often, but this was a way that got us through those earlier years with little ones in keeping our relationship a priority. - Make love fun. As I read this chapter I realized that I have become quite a Sour Mrs. many times. I forget to have the little 'love fights' that were so frequent wehn we were first married. I have to work hard at not becoming a hands off type of wife. - Live with thanksgiving, forgiveness and joy. Live every moment as if it were your last because someday........it will be!

Cows, Shopping and Other Things!

Well. what a week we have been having!

Went to a cattle grazing school, learned about stuff like grazing your cattle!!

The government payed; free hotel, free meals, free babysitter, free hired labor...need I say more!

Are all my Manitoba readers enjoying the snow?

The song "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" was on in Superstore.

Aa a lady and I were picking through the bananas, we turned to each other and kind of smirked, I guess we can stop dreaming about it, cause, IT"S HERE!

Our white Christmas is here, and I have the overwhelming urge to go somewhere tropical! Warm weather, beaches, fresh fruit....

but then I think of the $10,000 spent on plane tickets,

thousands spent on hotels, who know how much on food.....

and I am content to be here in crisp Manitoba, where your nose hairs freeze together as you walk out the door.

So I will focus on the fun things of winter:

hot chocolate with snowman poop (or marshmellows for all you technical people),

cozying up by the wood stove,

skating on our rink (we got it done!),

little boys who ask for carrots and buttons for their latest snowman buddy,

tobogganing,

the crunch of snow under your feet,

bundled up little bumkins who get super frustrated because they can't move,

just to name a few!

SOOO...happy winter day.